[Misty]

Is is hard for anyone else to get/keep a job? If so, how do you handle it? My husband wants me to get a part time job, and I agree that I should, but when my dp attacks, it's pretty bad and I don't want to call in sick when ever it happens. Plus, no one wants to hire someone who can't be there all the time. Lately my dp has been pretty bad. At least once a week and lasting up to three days. I can't even walk straight when it happens, there is no way I can work.

Please, anyone help me out and give some suggestions. Anything will help. I don't know what to do and I'm at the end of my rope.

 

[Guest]

I can only speak for myself but having a job and going to grad school full-time is actually helping me out. Whenever I stay home I obsess overy DP/DR to the point where it completely controls me.

I'm sure that everyone is different but having a job might actually be helpful in focusing outwards etc. In order to get to work, I need to transfer trains on Times Square (I live in NYC) so basically I'm constantly surrounded by thousands of people, working in a high-pace environment and finishing off grad work... and nobody notices that I have DP/DR. Most of my friends don't know or would not have noticed it.

You can do it. I'm sure you can work and maybe it would help. If not, you can always take time off but it wouldn't hurt to try=)

Good luck.

 

[kenc127]

Not really. Work is a tremendous distraction for me. It's like 8 hours of freedom from my obsessive evil mind.

 

[shadowness]

i have not been able to get a job due to dp and dr...

and i definately cannot earn enough to make more than the benifit i am on...and considering my mothr and i are in serious financial difficulty then i cannot really work...

i will get a job though if i can...

i think it would be a good distracton...but i think it depends on what kind of job too...

 

[Misty]

I used to have full time jobs until I had a nervous breakdown and when I got back from the hospital they fired me. That's when I decieded to go back to school full time instead of part time. This is my fourth year of college and I just now got done with my math, english, government, ect... But now my DP is acting up really bad and I have an "attack" about at least once a week that lasts up to three days and I'm afraid that I won't be able to work. I never had this problem before. I never was afraid of getting a job. I like to work. I stayed home the first year with my daughter and couldn't wait to get back to work. I love to work. This is sooooo not like me. Maybe it's just the holiday's that are doing it to me. You know, the extra stress of Christmas, family, buying presants.

Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers that I can find a job. If I don't this family is doomed money wise.

 

[sleepingbeauty]

i dont know how you can handle just being a full time mom. i know i wouldnt. i can barely handle doing the shopping and feeding myself. if your husband had any clue what you had to endure on a daily basis than hed have absolutely nothing to say. dont put so much pressure on yourself. youre ill. theres nothing wrong with that its not your fault and you dont have anything to prove. the job thing will fall in line in its own time. give yourself permission to heal.

and if money is the big issue than you should look into social assistance. youve worked before right? that means youve paid your taxes. thats WHY you pay your taxes. so that when these situation arise you have that safety net to fall back on. youre disabled. its not your fault and you deserve help like anyone else does. youll get out of this and get a job and be successful. but its not going to happen overnight.

BABY STEPS.

you cant go from point A to point Z in a single leap. dont even try. cause i can tell you from experience that you will fall so hard youll be wearing your asscheeks for earrings.

BABY STEPS.

time is the only healer.. and by putting this unnessisary pressure on yourself youre just setting yourself up for another breakdown. can you really afford that?? no.

dont force recovery. it doenst work that way. everyday make subtle changes.. and then allow your mind TIME to adjust to those changes. soon you will be back on your feet and READY for the real world.

right now youre in no condition for the pressures of the work place, and you know that.

when you are ready.. it will happen.

 

[Misty]

That's what I say but everyone around me thinks I am making this up. I am a full time mother, wife, maid, student, and then I try and cook and always trying to get my dads approvell (which makes me even more depressed because he never gives it). I have always been the one with a steady job. Everyone expects me to be superwoman and when things like this happen, I'm expected to just "snap out of it" and move on with my life.

I get up in the mornings, get my daughter dressed, my husband takes her to school. I go back to sleep till 1pm then I go to school get home around 4pm, play on the computer for awhile, go pick up my daughter from school, cook dinner, clean the house, play with her, give her a shower, read her stories, put her to bed then clean the house some more then go to bed. On the weekends when I don't have her, I clean all day. I'm not trying to start a pitty party. I just needed to let it out.....vent, ya know? My husband finally got a job after 7 months....when he isn't working he plays Xbox Live (Halo 2) and then comes to bed about 4/5am. He never talks to me, unless it's about money and then he yells at me. That's why I need a job sooooo bad. So the yelling will stop. Even a job that I worked five hours a week, he'd maybe stop yelling.

I promise, I'm not looking for a pitty party. Just venting. :x

 

[sleepingbeauty]

added to my above post misty. while you were typing i was typing too and i meantioned what you are venting about so please read it for me.

thanks

i dont know how you can handle just being a full time mom. i know i wouldnt. i can barely handle doing the shopping and feeding myself. if your husband had any clue what you had to endure on a daily basis than hed have absolutely nothing to say. dont put so much pressure on yourself. youre ill. theres nothing wrong with that its not your fault and you dont have anything to prove. the job thing will fall in line in its own time. give yourself permission to heal.

and if money is the big issue than you should look into social assistance. youve worked before right? that means youve paid your taxes. thats WHY you pay your taxes. so that when these situation arise you have that safety net to fall back on. youre disabled. its not your fault and you deserve help like anyone else does. youll get out of this and get a job and be successful. but its not going to happen overnight.

BABY STEPS.

you cant go from point A to point Z in a single leap. dont even try. cause i can tell you from experience that you will fall so hard youll be wearing your asscheeks for earrings.

BABY STEPS.

time is the only healer.. and by putting this unnessisary pressure on yourself youre just setting yourself up for another breakdown. can you really afford that?? no.

dont force recovery. it doenst work that way. everyday make subtle changes.. and then allow your mind TIME to adjust to those changes. soon you will be back on your feet and READY for the real world.

right now youre in no condition for the pressures of the work place, and you know that.

when you are ready.. it will happen.

 

[sleepingbeauty]

your husband sounds very abusive. not only that but it seems like he may have some problems of his own if hes not open with you. this is not good for your kid. you seem like a smart girl. be honest and upfront with him and for godsake woman! dont take any of his crap!!

if it were me id shove a used condom in his Xbox and push play.

(ive seriously done that before.. cause i found a used condom in my Xs trash and i KNOW he didnt use it on me!!)

but anyways.. your hubby sounds like a world class prick.

no offence. :evil:

 

[Misty]

Thanks, SleepingBeauty, that really does help alot.

 

[Misty]

your husband sounds very abusive. not only that but it seems like he may have some problems of his own if hes not open with you. this is not good for your kid. you seem like a smart girl. be honest and upfront with him and for godsake woman! dont take any of his crap!!

if it were me id shove a used condom in his Xbox and push play.

(ive seriously done that before.. cause i found a used condom in my Xs trash and i KNOW he didnt use it on me!!)

but anyways.. your hubby sounds like a world class prick.

no offence. :evil:

He is bipolar and ADHD so it's hard for both of us. He isn't physically abusive but I do agree he is verbally. I don't think he knows he is....but when he yells he knows I can't handle it, my dad was a drill sargent in the army so I got yelled alot growing up. I really don't care about the xbox, I just wish I didn't have to hear my daughter cry because daddy won't play with her or him never put her to bed so I can go to bed early. If I'm sick, she stays at her grandparents (his parents). My best friends thinks the same way you do, I just don't know what to do about it.....

About the social assistance. We have to much money in bills that we pay so we "make to much". My sister in-law is a case worker for DHS. We are trying again for food stamps/daycare assistance but my husbands grandmother gives us money to make up the differance in bills (but she can't afford it anymore) If she didn't help, and we did get social help, it still wouldn't help ends meet. Life sucks sometimes

 

[Guest]

You're under too much pressure.



You've got 50 strands of thought relevant to the new job ALONE, your head "overloads" when you think "JOB" so you snap into DP/DR.

All of MISTY'S beliefs are correct (I want to get a job, we need money), your external situation doesn't make MISTY'S beliefs any less correct..

Your head keeps overloading, the situation has been made too difficult by your husband and father.. I think you're thinking about having another baby too.

You hate screaming, dont you. I bet you wish you could cover your ears. You want to punch the wall I bet..

There's too many "variables" so to speak, about finding employment, so it overloads your head into a dangerous place.

 

[dreamcatcher]

MISTY....you need to be in control of what you want to do.....if its your decision to look for a job go for it, if you feel as if you are been pushed into it for the sake of an income forget it.....you have enough on your plate with having a kid to look after on top of the dp......

this is my opinion..... i was suppose to start work then had a breakdown just before my start date.....i am in two minds now of what to do....i think getting a job might give us some confidence but then theres the fear of failure if we freak out and cant handle it.......all of us can only do what is right for us......even with this....

 

[Guest]

MISTY....you need to be in control of what you want to do.....if its your decision to look for a job go for it, if you feel as if you are been pushed into it for the sake of an income forget it.....you have enough on your plate with having a kid to look after on top of the dp......

this is my opinion..... i was suppose to start work then had a breakdown just before my start date.....i am in two minds now of what to do....i think getting a job might give us some confidence but then theres the fear of failure if we freak out and cant handle it.......all of us can only do what is right for us......even with this....

I dont think Misty wants to work for "confidence" or, "distraction"..
I think it's family obligation. I think it's financial. I dont think the DP has any play in this, I think Misty is up against the wall a bit

 

[Misty]

Yeah, I'm not doing this for a way to be distracted from the DP, but only for my family. ONLY for my family. I don't want to be the one to explain to my five year old, why mommy and daddy couldn't buy her the barbie she wanted because I can't get a job. :evil: It just pisses me off on top of everything eles. Why does this stupid DP hit when the timing is soooooo wrong? Can't it come on the weekends, or nights, or when ever I'm asleep. That would be so much more convient.

 

[dreamcatcher]

I dont think Misty wants to work for "confidence" or, "distraction"..
I think it's family obligation. I think it's financial. I dont think the DP has any play in this, I think Misty is up against the wall a bit

that is what i was trying to get through....that misty has to make her OWN decisions ...... i can see that she is pushed against the wall so too speak,but if she is not up to working and is stressing out about the whole thing that is only going to increase the dp.....just a personal opinion..

i agree with what u are saying ghost

 

[Guest]

I dont think Misty wants to work for "confidence" or, "distraction"..
I think it's family obligation. I think it's financial. I dont think the DP has any play in this, I think Misty is up against the wall a bit

that is what i was trying to get through....that misty has to make her OWN decisions ...... i can see that she is pushed against the wall so too speak,but if she is not up to working and is stressing out about the whole thing that is only going to increase the dp.....just a personal opinion..

i agree with what u are saying ghost

I cant "stand up" to my family.. how bout you??

 

[dreamcatcher]

ghost said:

I cant "stand up" to my family.. how bout you??

i dont like confrentation of any kind and expecially not from my family.......but if forced into a corner i can stand up for myself....normally do it all wrong like....but thats life...

misty i know what you mean about wanting more money for your kid...any mother would want there kids to have the best of everything.....cant you see about incapacity benefit until you feel strong enough to work?????

 

[Misty]

I cant "stand up" to my family.. how bout you??

Nope, I end up letting them walk all over me, just like everyone else.

 

[Kelson12]

I work. I don't LOVE my job, but glad I have one.

Actually my job makes me think about my DP more at times, cause since I am a Recruiter, my days are up and down. Some are busy, some can get slow.

I think that for most people with DP, if we are busy most of the time, we don't have time to think about how we feel. My opinion.

In any case. Start out with some part-time work. See how you do and then move to full-time.

Baby steps. There is nothing wrong with that.

Kelson