[rowzie]

Hello,
I have been suffereing from DP/DR for approx. 3 1/2 months now which many of you probably think is not long enough to be considered serious but it has gotten to be a living hell every second of my day through its course. All of a sudden, I'm starting to question everything like the world and people and nothing seems to look familiar anymore- I feel like it's a movie or people are just robots. I questione every thing you could possibly think of in life, I don't look at people as people anymore all I can think about is how their brains are working. It's almost like I've never seen the world before until now, I feel like an alien. The sense of detachment has become unberable and I feel completely empty inside. I can't sleep and can barely eat- It's become really really hopeless and my thoughts continue to plague me. I don't understand why its progressed downwards, has this happened for anyone else? Is it possible it has anything to do with the fact that I took zoloft for about 2 weeks about 2 months ago and then went on xanax for a few weeks? Could this have made my condition worse over time? I also accidently started on a high dose of paxil a week ago and ended up in the hospital, and am now not taking it anymore. I can't tolerate SSRI's it seems and need some other type of solution. It really feels like something else is wrong, I keep saying its anxiety but its hard not to think that I'm losing my mind. I got the MRI and EEG done about 2 months ago so apparantly there's nothing wrong with my brain but it really feels like it right now. I'm hoping to get some Klonopin to sort of drag me through the day. Any help would be so appreciated, I feel completely lost right now and wanting to not live my life anymore. The suicidal thoughts grow stronger as I'm sure others of you have had. It scares me to read about people who have dealt with this basically their whole lives- is it at all possible since its been 3 1/2 months I have a better chance of succeeding? I'm sorry for all the questions and rambling, I'm just at such a loss over what to do I really can't go on like this- I feel like my life is done with and it's impossible to pick up the pieces
Rose

 

[chris51]

I am not Janine but want to offer some help. If you are thinking about hurting yourself go see someone NOW. Suicide is a permanet solution to a temporary problem. I know you feel weird and alone right now, but your not. Look how many people post here. You have to find what works for you. Whether it be medication, different type of therapy or yoga or self help book. Something usually works. It's the trial and error that's time consuming. Please look outside at the world and realize that you are functioning that there is a future.

 

[Guest]

Great advice from Chris there.

And there is really nothing I can do, whether I'm Janine or not, grin.

This is an awful experience, these symptoms. We know..we know that nobody else can possbily understand.

But all that we can do is try different meds, talk to a good therapist and/or do all we can to NOT obsess or focus on the terrible situation. All that "catastrophizing" we do makes us feel worse.

Is it fair that we suffer from dp? no.
Is it awful and horrifying? yes.
is it incredibly hard not to go to worst case scenario all the time? sure.

But hating those realities changes nothing.

nothing.

We have to accept that for right this minute, this is how it is. And then do what we can to get better. But fight all the time, every minute, against the panicky thoughts of "oh, I CAN'T LIVE THIS WAY! I am losing my mind!" Those thoughts only make it worse.

And if you or anyone has suicidal thoughts, talk to a good psychatrist right away.

Peace,
Janine