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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
do you feel in your own oppinion that once i start therepy i should stay away from this or any other self help forum.....i will certainly miss this place but if its for my own good then i will do it.....im only going to be going to the group once a week and that will be my only outlet...what do you think ?

jc
 
G

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Not my place to say - and I don't think there's a Right Answer.

Try to not come as often? Come as often as you like? the larger problem is that you are now looking for some DEFINITIVE Answer - like, okay, new leaf, new day - I will not come back anymore! Or...."I need to be here, the hell with therapy..."

black and white
on and off

drunk
or
abstinant

hopeless
or
defiant

ready for a mental home
or
capable of doing ANYthing he dreams of

Take meds and depend on them forever
or
take NO meds, get every chemical out of the system by nightfall

the middle

the Middle is where reality lives. But most of us never bothered getting our passports updated to travel there, let alone set up residency.

grin,
J
 

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Good point Janine. jc, my therapist always gives me a hard time when I come here. He says that it keeps my mind on the DP. Yet at time I find comfort here. Your decision ultimately. Good luck!
 

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good advice here JC

"the Middle is where reality lives"

whats the point in living in only black and white, when you can experience all those colours in inbeetween.

its a learning process to find the middle ground one wich good therapy can help with.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
you see your being very vague here

black and white

what does this meen ??? call me thick but im new to psycho babble
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
sorry for yet another post,but i think i know what you meen...

if i feel the need to come here then do it,if im feeling fine dont,if i find it upsets me coming here then dont do it....am i right am i wrong ?
 

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Yes, go with the flow. There doesn't have to be right or wrong, just do what you feel is right at the time. That's the best anyone can do.

I know exactly how you feel. As you know, I spend a great deal of time reading psycho babble. At the beginning, the feelings I got from it were extreme, sudden elation at discovering something new that made me feel better, followed by an obsessive need to read, read, read in order to gain the reassurance I needed. It's the same for this site. You'll know when you are coming to this site for real reasons or obsessive seeking of approval/reassurance.

So many times I decided that I would give up reading those books. Then I decided I HAD to read them in order to feel better. That's black or white, thinking that everything has to be categorised or split down the middle to feel clearly about something, or in control of a situation. I created a nice little conflict for myself because I knew that the reality lay somewhere in the middle, that the books helped AND hindered me. So I was confused by the boundaries I set for myself. You're probably wondering why I'm going into so much depth about reading. Black and white thinking like this, like Janine described above, will just confuse you and causes symptoms.

You know that you don't want to give up drinking entirely but you also know that you can't drink yourself silly every day. Yet you still believe the answer to lie within one of these strict categories. Unfortunately, because of the physical addiction side, most alcoholics have to opt for total abstination. If they could regain the balance of not needing to do something to extreme every time, learn about moderation (not necessarily just alcohol)and not fulfilling some ridiculous regime set for themselves, they would find the middle ground, losing their obsessive nature or preoccupation with alcohol.

If you visit the website to seek reassurance, you will not have undone all your hardwork at therapy. It may confuse you. Acknowledge this. Maybe stay away until it feels better. It may make you extremely calm one day, it may not the next. Accept this. Don't feel as though it's all gone belly up because you cracked under your 'regime'. In fact, make your new regime to not have a regime.

That is the middle ground.

G x
 

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You want an answer that will get you out of this.

But in reality you have no control over when your DP will end...you can only work to change yourself and eventually it will get better..but you have no way of making a set date or having a distinct end or being able to one day leave the board behind and never looking back...speaking of which, if you did choose to leave the board and it had anything to do with recovery, it would probably be a choice you made after actually recovering.

You have no control over changing yourself, either. You can't just chart out a map to change. The most you can do is express yourself honestly and try new things in life that you would normally consider too daring or embarassing (doing so helps you realize how little embarassment there really is to be had in the world and that makes you less self conscious)

If being off the board or being on here less often helps you focus on other things, then yeah go for it...but switching from the messageboard god to the therapy god won't help when there are no gods just people like you who don't knwo what the hell is going on...people who NEVER know what the hell is going on...and you may hate them as you may hate yourself for not being able to know what is going on.

and stuff.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
im getting the picture and i really do think its time for me to stop asking so many questions,there are no answers but i hate feeling this way,i know i need to start being kind to myself,to be honest i even bore myself with the questioning...
i know theres no magic pill,and i know theres no magic diet,but i know that coming on here sometimes brings me comfort,im not as obsessive with this forum as i used to be but i just wonder where do all the old members go ?
are they still lurking ? are they cured ? have they just accepted this shitty deal ? have there therepists advised them to stay away from self help forums
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
also when i log onto the internet i feel that if i stay away from this forum and just visit my usual music websites etc...i feel like im kidding myself that im better
 

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Do what you will do. If you think you are kidding yourself that is a trick of your brain. It wants you to keep trying to find an Answer. No, your life is already going on. don't wait until recovery to do the things you feel like doing. there is no answer to find.
 
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When i asked my therapist what he thought of this website, he didn't think it was a good idea to visit it. He really didn't give me a reason, he was just like " i really wouldn't consider it a good idea". Im not sure why i come here to be honest, i guess cuz misery loves company, I never really feel " comfortable" anywhere, not even here.

life sucks
 
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As for Person3's

The most you can do is express yourself honestly and try new things in life that you would normally consider too daring or embarassing (doing so helps you realize how little embarassment there really is to be had in the world and that makes you less self conscious)
and

No, your life is already going on. don't wait until recovery to do the things you feel like doing. there is no answer to find.
Are you living this way ? Does it help with the dp?
Did therapy make you realize this?

If you live that way, is it hard for you to 'express yourself honestly and try new things in life that you would normally consider too daring or embarassing' ?

I am asking cause this would be difficult for me although i don't really have dr anymore. But still I am very weak and worn out and do have slight anxiety and occasionally I still ask myself if I possibly go crazy, so what you say sounds good and all, but, yeah, isn't really easy I guess ( for me it is not easy at all, that is for sure).
 
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