Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
65 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've probably started dissociating since 3 years old due to emotional neglect. My mom gave me no love or guidance. My dad left when I was 10 and I was too scared/proud to say I didn't want him to leave. I've faced years of emotional abuse at school but I've just been zoned out most of my time growing up. full blown dp/dr has only started a year ago though. I used to live in a constant state of anxiety and negative thoughts. My symptoms were basically that of avoidant personality disorder. It seems like most people here were relatively normal before their dpdr started and it was triggered by weed/psychedelics. But, for me I've just been fucked up entire life. People know me as that guy who is depressed/shy/hates himself/fucked up. All I've ever done was play games/listen to sad music/read self help/sleep. I never pursued any hobbies or interests because I thought it would burden my mom. I never tried to make any friends because in my heart I believed I didn't deserve any. Honestly, I feel like I've never truly lived a single day in my entire life. To just be free and live from my heart, not in my head. It might be hard to imagine the life I've lived based on this post, but has anyone lived a/recovered from a similar life? Also, is it possible I have Dissociative Identity Disorder? I don't know if I could handle such a diagnosis. I'm 22 years old and I feel like suicide is just inevitable. Help?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
TBH I dont even know the diffrence from Dissociative Identity Disorder, But I think you You've been through hell of a struggle man, I dont know what to tell you but to keep going. Im 14 years old and I have this disorder so please man if i can keep doing this than anyone can. I hope you find happiness man, Life is to precious to throw away. You did 22 years, why not just finish they other years, Oh and by the way what console do you play on man. Anyways I wish you the best of luck man and are thinking about medication or not? Goodluck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
65 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for the reply. I played mostly PC; league of legends and csgo. I think the thing with DID is that people with it don't remember what they did when they change personalities/states of consciousness. I've been researching a lot about treatment, nootropics and stuff. I'm considering going to an ayahuasca retreat.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,111 Posts
Yes you can recover completely.

You need healthy and loving relationships.

My mom had dp/dr since she was a child. She was so used to it she didn't even know she had it. Then she got treated for anorexia, and in therapy the issues came up and she resolved them. She became DP free.
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top