[Matt210]

Hey everyone.. I posted here a while ago about memory issues.. and I had a really good response.. helped me a lot.. but now they have gotten to a very very severe point.. and im starting to completely freak out once again. Here's just a few examples

I have no idea what i did this morning.. unless i really rack my brains.. and remember i went to class... but it seems like weeks ago that I went to class. Then After class is a bit of a blur.. I know I went to lunch.. I dont really know what made me decide to go there etc...

I had my friend over to my dorm room.. we talked for an hour.. I dont really recall much of the conversation.

I NEVER remember when things happened.. yesterday feels like a DECADE ago.. I never know who ive talked too and stuff.

If someone brings up a specific event like "remember doing this?" .. of course i remember.. but i dont remember when it happened.. specific details.. unless someone reminds me of those too.

Am I going absolutely insane? im freaking out.. i dont want to forget everything.. HELP ME

 

[Matt210]

Hey everyone.. I posted here a while ago about memory issues.. and I had a really good response.. helped me a lot.. but now they have gotten to a very very severe point.. and im starting to completely freak out once again. Here's just a few examples

I have no idea what i did this morning.. unless i really rack my brains.. and remember i went to class... but it seems like weeks ago that I went to class. Then After class is a bit of a blur.. I know I went to lunch.. I dont really know what made me decide to go there etc...

I had my friend over to my dorm room.. we talked for an hour.. I dont really recall much of the conversation.

I NEVER remember when things happened.. yesterday feels like a DECADE ago.. I never know who ive talked too and stuff.

If someone brings up a specific event like "remember doing this?" .. of course i remember.. but i dont remember when it happened.. specific details.. unless someone reminds me of those too.

Am I going absolutely insane? im freaking out.. i dont want to forget everything.. HELP ME

 

[bat]

try to stop thinking about remembering all the time. stop trying to remember stuff. maybe every time you start trying to remember switch it to planning what you're going to do tomorrow or some time

 

[bat]

try to stop thinking about remembering all the time. stop trying to remember stuff. maybe every time you start trying to remember switch it to planning what you're going to do tomorrow or some time

 

[Matt210]

Yeah, thats true.. I AM obsessively trying to remember everything.. go through my day step by step.. go through my week.. its jsut scary cuz i honestly cant remember things.. and im really trying .

 

[Matt210]

Yeah, thats true.. I AM obsessively trying to remember everything.. go through my day step by step.. go through my week.. its jsut scary cuz i honestly cant remember things.. and im really trying .

 

[bat]

stop trying

 

[bat]

stop trying

 

[jc]

id earlier been for a walk up the shops today,and bumped into my friend with his wife pushing there young baby...i was talking to them and i mentioned to them 'did you know i had my bike stolen saturday night' they said 'yes you told us about it sunday afternoon' now i knew id spoken to them but i didnt know if it was saturday or sunday or monday,in the past i would of panicked but these are just the usual memory problems that everyone goes through,we cant recall every little thing that happens its just impossible

 

[jc]

id earlier been for a walk up the shops today,and bumped into my friend with his wife pushing there young baby...i was talking to them and i mentioned to them 'did you know i had my bike stolen saturday night' they said 'yes you told us about it sunday afternoon' now i knew id spoken to them but i didnt know if it was saturday or sunday or monday,in the past i would of panicked but these are just the usual memory problems that everyone goes through,we cant recall every little thing that happens its just impossible

 

[Guest]

The Symptom is not the inability to remember clearly.

The Symptom is your Obsession over having to Force Yourself To Try To Recall Events.

The obsessions will destroy you. Your life will become nothing except "checking" yourself to verify if you are sane.

You cannot check enough times or well enough or deeply enough to ever satisfy yourself. The instant you THINK you feel slightly comforted by your efforts, you will create more doubt that will require more closely monitored checking and re-verifying.

There is NO amount of successful remembering that would make you truly trust your ability to remember.

You have created an Obsession about the nature of memory and you have been sucked into the vortex of an evil trickster (your own mind playing games the way all obsessives' minds do)

Turn around and force your thinking to go in other areas.

You won't, of course.

You will read this and nod and really feel understood for a minute. You will see clearly that this is correct.

Then you will log off the Board and immediately go right back to thinking about this morning's events and seeing if you can remember "better" now that you felt a little calmer for a minute....

and the cycle will begin.

Again.

There is no mystery to recovering from symptoms of our thoughts.

But it is incredibly hard.

And most people will not do it.

Peace,
Janine

 

[Guest]

The Symptom is not the inability to remember clearly.

The Symptom is your Obsession over having to Force Yourself To Try To Recall Events.

The obsessions will destroy you. Your life will become nothing except "checking" yourself to verify if you are sane.

You cannot check enough times or well enough or deeply enough to ever satisfy yourself. The instant you THINK you feel slightly comforted by your efforts, you will create more doubt that will require more closely monitored checking and re-verifying.

There is NO amount of successful remembering that would make you truly trust your ability to remember.

You have created an Obsession about the nature of memory and you have been sucked into the vortex of an evil trickster (your own mind playing games the way all obsessives' minds do)

Turn around and force your thinking to go in other areas.

You won't, of course.

You will read this and nod and really feel understood for a minute. You will see clearly that this is correct.

Then you will log off the Board and immediately go right back to thinking about this morning's events and seeing if you can remember "better" now that you felt a little calmer for a minute....

and the cycle will begin.

Again.

There is no mystery to recovering from symptoms of our thoughts.

But it is incredibly hard.

And most people will not do it.

Peace,
Janine

 

[Guest]

Um.....Janine? You say........"and most people will not do it." Why won't they? I have to believe that everybody here wants to get better, and would happily try whatever it takes. And yet there is something that prevents us from............happily trying whatever it takes.

 

[Guest]

Um.....Janine? You say........"and most people will not do it." Why won't they? I have to believe that everybody here wants to get better, and would happily try whatever it takes. And yet there is something that prevents us from............happily trying whatever it takes.

 

[Guest]

because the human mind is more than we think it is.

Aspects of our minds do not want to stop obsessing - the obessions are serving a purpose for those aspects, and they are sneaky and tricky and determined....and who they are tricking is US (i.e., other aspects of mind, such as the conscious part)

We TRY to do something like stop the obsessive train, but we quickly say "oh, this is not going to work" or "this is too much, I can't do it so why try..." (and I KNOW it's hard...nearly impossibly hard. But...not impossible. what makes it impossible is that we don't stick with it)

The things we tell ourselves that allow us to NOT try to stick with it are more tricks. We believe we're sincere (this is never going to work, or this is too hard, no point in trying...I'll just take more meds, or stop the meds, or have a drink or stop the drink, etc...) but those are lies we are telling ourselves to keep the obsessions going.

Peace,
Janine

 

[Guest]

because the human mind is more than we think it is.

Aspects of our minds do not want to stop obsessing - the obessions are serving a purpose for those aspects, and they are sneaky and tricky and determined....and who they are tricking is US (i.e., other aspects of mind, such as the conscious part)

We TRY to do something like stop the obsessive train, but we quickly say "oh, this is not going to work" or "this is too much, I can't do it so why try..." (and I KNOW it's hard...nearly impossibly hard. But...not impossible. what makes it impossible is that we don't stick with it)

The things we tell ourselves that allow us to NOT try to stick with it are more tricks. We believe we're sincere (this is never going to work, or this is too hard, no point in trying...I'll just take more meds, or stop the meds, or have a drink or stop the drink, etc...) but those are lies we are telling ourselves to keep the obsessions going.

Peace,
Janine

 

[Guest]

Janine i know ive probably asked you this before

But how did you actually get better??

after today, i think recovery is almost impossible.

i don't even know what recovery is anymore

 

[Guest]

Janine i know ive probably asked you this before

But how did you actually get better??

after today, i think recovery is almost impossible.

i don't even know what recovery is anymore

 

[Guest]

Long term therapy (psychoanalytic) and that process SLOWLY over years...gave me enough insight into what I was doing to myself that I could work against it, and make major changes in myself.

There's no way to explain it in a post. It involved, for me, learning to re-examine many very important parts of my life, my past, my self, learning to LOOK at things differently, learning how I was keeping myself from seeing anything differently, watching/learning how I was fooling myself and how scared I was of SO much - things I sort of knew but didn't really understand.

Much of what I walked into therapy saying "oh, no, that is not part of the problem at all....not at all." turned out to be VERY important and very related to all my symtoms.

No body could convince me of course, but over time I watched myself in the therapy room in that relationship with that doctor, and I kept playing out so many of the same old games and repeated cycles...and it was eventually impossible NOT to see it.

Insights led to changes which led to my sort of "jumpstarting" myself. I had been frozen for a long time, more than from dp....frozen because I was so overly controlled and so damn SURE I knew myself inside and out....when I realized that there was much more going on in my mind that the stuff I was aware of, I could see that it was actually possible that my symptoms were being created within my own mind.

All that knowledge, understanding, etc...was enough to make the symptoms start dropping away. When I then started to RECREATE them again and again, I did the stuff listed above...I knew it was me doing it, and I knew what it took to stop it - to not buy into my own sense of being swept along. But I couldn't have ever done that without the other changes and insights, and again...the long term process of self-discovery.

No easy answer.

Short answer: long term therapy that really examined every aspect of how my mind worked.

Peace,
J

 

[Guest]

Long term therapy (psychoanalytic) and that process SLOWLY over years...gave me enough insight into what I was doing to myself that I could work against it, and make major changes in myself.

There's no way to explain it in a post. It involved, for me, learning to re-examine many very important parts of my life, my past, my self, learning to LOOK at things differently, learning how I was keeping myself from seeing anything differently, watching/learning how I was fooling myself and how scared I was of SO much - things I sort of knew but didn't really understand.

Much of what I walked into therapy saying "oh, no, that is not part of the problem at all....not at all." turned out to be VERY important and very related to all my symtoms.

No body could convince me of course, but over time I watched myself in the therapy room in that relationship with that doctor, and I kept playing out so many of the same old games and repeated cycles...and it was eventually impossible NOT to see it.

Insights led to changes which led to my sort of "jumpstarting" myself. I had been frozen for a long time, more than from dp....frozen because I was so overly controlled and so damn SURE I knew myself inside and out....when I realized that there was much more going on in my mind that the stuff I was aware of, I could see that it was actually possible that my symptoms were being created within my own mind.

All that knowledge, understanding, etc...was enough to make the symptoms start dropping away. When I then started to RECREATE them again and again, I did the stuff listed above...I knew it was me doing it, and I knew what it took to stop it - to not buy into my own sense of being swept along. But I couldn't have ever done that without the other changes and insights, and again...the long term process of self-discovery.

No easy answer.

Short answer: long term therapy that really examined every aspect of how my mind worked.

Peace,
J