DP first started when I smoked weed for the first time, I'm sure a lot of people here can relate. It was in May of last year when I smoked for the first time.
My first time, I loved weed! Was cool as hell, but I immediately got DP and didn't know what exactly it was. All I knew was that it was from the weed.
By this time, I am only friends with people who smoke weed regularly.
So a few months go by, it's September, and I'm only smoking every once in a week. It was pretty fun, and the DP hasn't changed at all.
School started recently. Weed was easier to get on campus, and I liked it a lot, so I already knew I was going to be smoking regularly now.
I bought weed all the time, and I smoke it daily by this time.
Another couple months go by, it's now November. I am wrought with confusion. Something is different; this DP is more intense than it was before.
I noticed the amount of negative thoughts and negative energy that flow through my head. Depression has came, I don't know if it's from the DP or not.
It only gets downhill from here.
In January, I woke up in the middle of the night. Words can't describe how I was feeling. It was like someone told you something EXTREMELY devastating and you are just speechless
and you don't know how to react and all you can do is cry and your mind floods with fog and you don't know what you're thinking. I was in a different room in the house, and I didn't
even remember leaving by bed to walk to this room. (If anyone has experienced this or knows what it is, PLEASE tell me)
The depression and the DP I have gets worse. Between February-April I have occasional episodes in the middle of the night, but it isn't often.
The most recent one I had I couldn't even remember. When I woke up in the morning, I remember feeling the same feeling that I have when I wake up
in the middle of the night. I asked my housemate if I did anything in the middle of the night, and he said that I woke him up and then said "Nevermind" and
went back to bed. I had no memory of this happening, but I'm sure that it did.
It's now May 14th, 2019. I have smoked daily since September of last year. Most of the people in my life smoke weed; it's hard to quit when you're surrounded by it.
I fear this DP and depression become worse. I don't want to go psycho, I can't do that.
I'm living the worst chapter of my life so far. Quitting weed isn't a very practical option, although I know it's the only way to cure this DP.
If anyone can relate to anything I'm saying please let me know your experience with weed and DP and depression.
If there's anything you know on how to lessen DP without stopping weed, let me know.
One day I will get rid of this DP, never in a million years would I have ever seen myself living with this.