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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DP first started when I smoked weed for the first time, I'm sure a lot of people here can relate. It was in May of last year when I smoked for the first time.

My first time, I loved weed! Was cool as hell, but I immediately got DP and didn't know what exactly it was. All I knew was that it was from the weed.

By this time, I am only friends with people who smoke weed regularly.

So a few months go by, it's September, and I'm only smoking every once in a week. It was pretty fun, and the DP hasn't changed at all.

School started recently. Weed was easier to get on campus, and I liked it a lot, so I already knew I was going to be smoking regularly now.

I bought weed all the time, and I smoke it daily by this time.

Another couple months go by, it's now November. I am wrought with confusion. Something is different; this DP is more intense than it was before.

I noticed the amount of negative thoughts and negative energy that flow through my head. Depression has came, I don't know if it's from the DP or not.

It only gets downhill from here.

In January, I woke up in the middle of the night. Words can't describe how I was feeling. It was like someone told you something EXTREMELY devastating and you are just speechless

and you don't know how to react and all you can do is cry and your mind floods with fog and you don't know what you're thinking. I was in a different room in the house, and I didn't

even remember leaving by bed to walk to this room. (If anyone has experienced this or knows what it is, PLEASE tell me)

The depression and the DP I have gets worse. Between February-April I have occasional episodes in the middle of the night, but it isn't often.

The most recent one I had I couldn't even remember. When I woke up in the morning, I remember feeling the same feeling that I have when I wake up

in the middle of the night. I asked my housemate if I did anything in the middle of the night, and he said that I woke him up and then said "Nevermind" and

went back to bed. I had no memory of this happening, but I'm sure that it did.

It's now May 14th, 2019. I have smoked daily since September of last year. Most of the people in my life smoke weed; it's hard to quit when you're surrounded by it.

I fear this DP and depression become worse. I don't want to go psycho, I can't do that.

I'm living the worst chapter of my life so far. Quitting weed isn't a very practical option, although I know it's the only way to cure this DP.

If anyone can relate to anything I'm saying please let me know your experience with weed and DP and depression.

If there's anything you know on how to lessen DP without stopping weed, let me know.

One day I will get rid of this DP, never in a million years would I have ever seen myself living with this.

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You don't have to quit weed forever, but if the DP is so bad and weed *could* certainly be a factor in surprised you haven't tried stopping for a couple weeks.

Anyway waking up in the middle of the night and not knowing where you are and freaking out sounds like a panic attack - and those can be very traumatic and lead to fear of having more of them, and so you hyper focus on symptoms of anxiety (like DP/DR) and then when you notice them it triggers your body's stress response and so you release more stress hormone which exacerbates your anxiety and the cycle just continues. You'll have to learn where best to break the cycle and you'll find the way out and back to yourself. There's many posts on this forum that will help guide you, but I'd suggest chilling off the weed for a bit while you try and sort it all out... but if you want to try and navigate your ship through an already dark gauntlet filled with obstacles and personal demons while high... I guess you could try (shrugs) ... no judgement - but also it seems like you've been there done that, so why not give it a go clear headed (or as clear headed as you can be while having DP :p)

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It's hard to quit when you are surrounded by it, even though it gives you depersonalization and depression? This is an example of the power of peer pressure. Quitting weed isn't a practical option?

In all likelihood, in 10 years from now, if you succeed out of your current neighborhood, you won't have any friends who smoke weed. You won't know anyone who smokes weed regularly. And you will wonder why you ever did.
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