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Hey guys, I am sitting here doing my deep breathing exercises and not letting my thoughts give me anxiety and I think I may be getting better.
Whenever I slip on my clothes they feel softer and warmer, whenever I take a bath I smell the soap more strongly and I laughed last night and felt it. 4 years and finally actually relaxing is making me better? I'm confused.
 

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that is so so great , and yeah time means nothing when it comes to stuff like anxiety and other disorders . that is so major , feeling better , happens to me sometimes , like when I go over my fear (for example of being in space , floating on a planet ) and just overcoming it , feels like accomplishment. so happy for you you're that much better . I am 2.5 years into dpdr and getting better finally
 

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Hey, I am so glad you are feeling better. I am feeling better too, and it happened gradually over the past few weeks. And then yesterday, I woke up as me completely, feeling my body and my mental state as my own. I was feeling present in the actual moment...I have almost forgotten how that feels. And it lasted all day yesterday, and today it still hasn't changed. I see objects around me, and they feel as my own, my own coffee mug, my laptop, not just random things. I have a relation towards them, as my own. Yesterday, the feeling of being present brought about some sadness as well, but it hadn't clouded the joy of feeling at home in my own head. Idk if this is going to last, but I will let you know...
 

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Me too.
But that's not something I can control in my situation. I have tried to force recovery, but that doesn't work. My brain takes the time it needs to recover.
 

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that is so so great , and yeah time means nothing when it comes to stuff like anxiety and other disorders . that is so major , feeling better , happens to me sometimes , like when I go over my fear (for example of being in space , floating on a planet ) and just overcoming it , feels like accomplishment. so happy for you you're that much better . I am 2.5 years into dpdr and getting better finally
 

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Congrats on getting better.
Floating is a very familiar feeling to me.
I am glad it's over.
Many years took but I am almost recovered.
 

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Hey, I am so glad you are feeling better. I am feeling better too, and it happened gradually over the past few weeks. And then yesterday, I woke up as me completely, feeling my body and my mental state as my own. I was feeling present in the actual moment...I have almost forgotten how that feels. And it lasted all day yesterday, and today it still hasn't changed. I see objects around me, and they feel as my own, my own coffee mug, my laptop, not just random things. I have a relation towards them, as my own. Yesterday, the feeling of being present brought about some sadness as well, but it hadn't clouded the joy of feeling at home in my own head. Idk if this is going to last, but I will let you know...
 

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I feel so happy for you! Thanks for sharing.
I had a period of returning back to feeling and experiencing things as "normal" people do. It brought about joy but also mixed feelings of sadness and regret over time and a life lost. But I don't let these thoughts take over the joy of actually feeling things again.
Right now I am in the place of recovery, and dealing with flashbacks from the time of me being completely "gone", living in an " outer surface", on the autopilot.
But it is way better, not even close to how it was during dpdr.
I wish you to continue your steady recovery.
 

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I feel so happy for you! Thanks for sharing.
I had a period of returning back to feeling and experiencing things as "normal" people do. It brought about joy but also mixed feelings of sadness and regret over time and a life lost. But I don't let these thoughts take over the joy of actually feeling things again.
Right now I am in the place of recovery, and dealing with flashbacks from the time of me being completely "gone", living in an " outer surface", on the autopilot.
But it is way better, not even close to how it was during dpdr.
I wish you to continue your steady recovery.
Hey Liz, thank you for your support, you accurately described how I feel right now...:) I am also glad for you being in that place from which you can work actively on your recovery, and wish you all the best! We can do this :)

A.
 

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Hey guys, just a follow-up to my previous post...I am still DP-free after eleven days.

I went through some turbulent emotions these days, I cannot remember the last time I have been in such a state of vividness, with a lot of crying, tbh...but also with some surges of energy and eagerness to do things...

I also had some meaningful dreams, well, nightmares really, that presented me with feeling I was unable to feel before. It was not unusual for me in the last three years to feel emotions in my dreams, and then, when I wake up, to basically lose any connection to them...This time, however, it was different.

I know that my DP came about related to traumatization, and I am aware that it is not the same for a number of people here. However, I still believe that the mechanism of the disorder, or the state, must be similar in some way, so perhaps my experience might be of some consequence for someone else here, as well.

There is no need to go into the details of my traumatization, but in my nightmare, that was basically replaying the memory of trauma, I recognized the affect, a combination of helplessness and rage, that was with me my whole life. I was not aware that I am harboring it, as it was masked as anxiety in almost every situation in my life. When I woke up, I was still able to identify that feeling as my own. When I went out for a walk, I felt the anxiety rising, as it is my reflex to most situations. However, this time I was able to identify this feeling of helplessness and rage behind it, and I was able to consciously get myself out of that state.

I don't know where this will lead me, but I would be glad if it stays like this. I am curious to see whether my emotional response will again shut down on me, if it happens that more of this emotional content is to come my way...or perhaps I am finally done with it...idk

Anyway, take care,

A.
 
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