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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm still here supposedly "alive".

Anyway here is an email I wrote to "someone" who I hope can help me.

The bit near the end about 7's is the reason for the topic title. Thoughts very welcome...

It all comes down to being really scared that this isn't the real world and not being sure if that's my belief. I want it desperately to be that this is the real world, that I believe it and this is all down to mental illness but I struggle to.

To keep it as simple as I possibly can, there are a few factors that are preventing me from confidently just getting on with things and putting it down to mental health problems.

1. My own control over what I'm doing: ie I do normal things and answer to people with a logical response when I don't believe they're even real.

Why, if I am really doubting reality do I do these things? I don't feel an urge to respond properly yet it happens.

When I look back after having a day where I've done a bunch of 'normal' things, it feels like somebody else did it and I consider it like somebody else did it.

Am I just going about things normally because it's all I can do? I'm acting like everything is fine, but it doesn't feel like it's me even doing the pretending.

2. Others reaction to me: I'm moving around not believing im real. Why don't people notice?

I know I'm not saying anything to them even though I want to, but surely it must come across?

Also what do you and others think when I do tell them these things?

How do they interpret my words and actions and conclude I'm not someone who is delusional? Why do they speak to me normally?

Do I come across as normal and is that a good thing?

3. Numbers/ coincidences and predicting things: This is the thing that sets me back. When these things happen it convinces me that either this isn't the real world or that I may believe I'm not in the real world, which would be delusional in the real world.

It's very complicated to describe but to give an example, yesterday I did an experiment with myself.

Every time I said to myself that the time on my phone would end in a 7, I would check my phone.

It would turn out I was correct. I'd leave it a while, check again and it would be a 7 again. This happened every time without fail. It's like I was making it happen.

I did the same thing this morning but this time with pausing the show I was watching. I told myself the pause time displayed would end in 7. Lo and behold this happened again each time i did it.

Now according to my old belief system this kind of 'magic' shouldn't happen and yet it did time and time again.

... I wanted to know if you think this is just an altered way of thinking due to mental illness?

If so, would I see these magical things differently without being ill?

How would you interpret these things if they were to happen to you? And how regularly does weird stuff like this happen and what is the correct way to view these things?

To put it simply if I can, I don't believe in magic or God etc. BUT the things that are happening seem to contradict these beliefs. Rather than see them as just eerie things that happen, it leads me to conclude I'm not in the real world.

I feel like a paranoid person in a tin fool hat, but these are very real fears.

It scares me because what if all the people I love aren't the same people I knew before all this. I can't trust that I'm in the right place. I want to, but I can't.

Would really appreciate your input if any of this makes any sense.

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I'd be interested in you taking your number-predicting experiment one step further.

Have a trusted person, or perhaps a disinterested 3rd party, like a therapist, tell you to look at your watch at random intervals (in other words, so other person is in control of the time that you are looking at your watch). If at that point, you see a "7" even though for them the time ends in a "2", then maybe there's something to your experiences. Or perhaps your watch is just broken.

The "correct" way to interpret these experiences, at least from a scientific or skeptical point of view, is that they are just coincidences. Ask yourself: how many times did this happen? 3 times without fail? or 167 times without fail? If your answer is closer to the former, it's likely just coincidence. If you are consciously looking for something (that is eminently plausible), then you are very likely to see what you are looking for. How about next time you are watching a show, see if you can predict the precise amount of minutes and seconds that have elapsed, instead of just looking to see if it ends in a 7. If you can repeatedly do that without fail, then you might be correct about being in a world where you create reality. Either that or you're just an amazingly intuitive person.
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