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The title says it all. Well, nothing really says "it all", but regardless, it is sooooo hot today. What's funny about Phoenix is that I always heard it was hot as fuck but it's one of those things where everyone throws that fact around constantly and it kind of loses its meaning. Like okk, i get it. It's probably pretty hot. Until I actually spent a summer here. Last summer was my first. My god, nobody was exaggerating. Opening the door literally feels like opening the oven to take out a batch of cookies. It's the same hot air you feel on your face while you reach for the cookies, turn your head away and ask yourself "whyyy" every fucking time. There's no escaping it. Everything bakes under the sun all day. Things are melted in a matter of seconds. Regardless of where you go, you can't run. Unless you're in a professional building, the AC cannot keep up and if you were to try to have it keep up you'd be spending 1,000 a month on air conditioning alone.

It's this kind of drowsiness and lack of motivation that I've felt ever since developing anxiety and the sheltered life that comes with it. This is obviously intensified in the summer. On days where I don't work or have something specific planned, my days normally consist of lounging around my phone watching mindless you tube videos or listening to Chief Keef, dabbing in front of my mirror. I've got a lot of potential, but habits are incredibly difficult to break, especially when you've been living in fear for so long. I play out endless scenarios in my head of me living a healthy exciting life with a lot of money in my pocket and a lot of the world being explored as well as finding myself. I know this will happen one day, but I'm going to have to break out of this comfort zone fully first.

I was motivated to write a blog but not really anymore so this one is gonna be cut short lol



Hair Arm Eye Jaw Gesture

freezeup
Aug 08 2016 08:13 PM

" listening to Chief Keef, dabbing in front of my mirror" LOL
 
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