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Its like a electrical fuse in your brain that makes your brain tell you that white lie. It doesnt happen to me.To much trauma at to young of an age can start to burn that fuse and for some of us it just goes. Never to return again... Im starting to realise that personal truth. It will never come back for me, I will never feal like I did again, and Im starting to accept that. Instead I need to go all around the world to come back at the start. In to the void of a black hole, out on the otherside rounding that cosmos just to come back to the start. I know pain is real, it can come for me anytime. But I live in know. This is before every posible future pain I try to plan ahead for. If Im in the worst pain of my life tomorrow, today I feel ok. Accept the unknown future. Pleasure and pain. Meet my pain, pain done to me, pain done to others. But it starts, like I always says with love.
Someone said about getting better is to crawl thru a nasty swamp. Hideous smells and large insects. But someday you will reach beautiful grass. Sometime I feel like Im almost there. Hope to meet some of you on the other side if I manage to land there. :)


Thank you for the kind words some have written. I never know what to answer but Im glad reading theme. ::)
 
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