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Hi all...so I've been suffering with this dreadful disorder for about 4 months now (I know that some of you have been suffering for much longer, and for that I have the utmost respect for you.) Anyway, the main thing I grapple with now is solipsism, is life a dream, etc. I remember the exact moment when this thought came into my mind...I was severely DP/DR'ed and the thought hit me like a tom of bricks and has honestly stuck to my brain as if it's been crazy glued there. I have to say that these thoughts once stopped me from going to school, as I thought to myself "what's the point of doing anything if my life is just a dream?" And then I thought "do I actually believe these thoughts? Does that mean I'm becoming psychotic?!" And the loop of thoughts continued, all the time.
But then I decided to push through them. I can't really tell you how I got through them, how I got myself up each day...probably willpower and religion. But damn it was hard.
So now I'm living my life pretty normally, except I still have these thoughts. They don't affect me as much but they're still there. And I wonder, do I actually believe them? Does that mean I'm psychotic? I think a part of me believes them because really, there is no answer. These are existential questions.
Even though I understand that, I still feel weird. I feel like I'm waiting for a feeling or a sensation and then i say to myself "no shit, this is real. What was I scared about?"
Can anyone relate? Am I on the road to recovery? Thank you.


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dionwoods987654321
Jul 11 2014 05:07 PM

I find this post very ironic. I also atleast I believe am on the verge or recovery and really don't feel to dreamlike but I still question is what in seeing all in my mind and just some picture or dream or something I created or is there actually stuff im seeing using my eyes. I think the thoughts are the things that stick around the longest. Since I'm experiencing almost exactly what you're experiencing I'm going to say that you're on the road to eecovery just try your best to ignore the thoughts would be my advice. Stay strong! You're definitely getting there. Those thoughts are just thoughts! Nothing more everything is real and so are others! Say strong !


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dionwoods987654321
Jul 11 2014 05:09 PM

I have to say though there probably were moments where I did believe it which really did seen so wrong and made me feel horrible and psychotic. But I think it's almost normal to believe these thoughts when everything seems so fake. As you start to feel better i think you will be able to say that the idea of everything being fake is just dumb.


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carolined15
Jul 11 2014 06:07 PM

That's awesome. It feels so good to be able to relate to someone. I also thinkg the existential nature of these thoughts make them so palpable. If you don't mind me asking are you on any meds? I'm currently taking 25 mg of zoloft.


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dionwoods987654321
Jul 11 2014 08:38 PM

I started anxiety medicine for two days and I had some bad anxiety so just dropped it no help at all I never really gave it a chance though. I think the best keys or some of the helpful things to recovery is healthy eating, cutting out caffeine, staying busy, positive thinking, and watching comedy. Whenever I'm laughing I tend not to realize what else is going on and forget about the dp. Message me anytime you have a question. I'm on a few times a day.


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katiej
Jul 12 2014 08:04 AM

i also believe alot of my thoughts,,, i wouldnt say its that u believe them. its more that they feel real. but u know deep down they are untrue and thats why it causes u distress. right?


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carolined15
Jul 12 2014 10:33 AM

i also believe alot of my thoughts,,, i wouldnt say its that u believe them. its more that they feel real. but u know deep down they are untrue and thats why it causes u distress. right?
i think so...you know my anxiety was so bad for a while that i wasn't sure what i believed. but i never "broke" from reality, you know? it's just with existential thoughts, there is no answer. so if i told you the CIA is following me, i know in my head that is untrue...but if i said life is dream...i mean, existentially speaking, i can't prove that. i think when my anxiety was at its peak it scared me that i couldn't rationalize a way out of that. now that im not as anxious, i can talk about that stuff. but even so, there's a shred of doubt inside of me that wonders if life really is a dream. can you relate?


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dionwoods987654321
Jul 12 2014 04:32 PM

The weird thing is with me lately my feelings of this life being a dream to say hasn't really been bad at all but I've been dealing with thoughts. A good example would be this. A country goes to war they win but they still have debt to deal with. I went to war(my dp) I'm starting to win but I still have my debt!(existential thoughts) and honestly sometimes I must say I do believe them at points. But ik if the thoughts aren't even my head I don't even notice or care to think about it and I live like everything is real. I think everything is real and ik it is but sometimes I just can't help but think its not. With or without the dp feelings


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Toonami PS1
Jul 17 2014 03:00 PM

I'm a quantum chemist going through the same existential DP. It's reaaaaally hard battling it, as an atheist myself, because I work using quantum mechanics. Now, quantum mechanics says ANYTHING. GOES..... ANYTHING. There's a pink elephant behind you at all times and it's true until you look behind you. It's silently raining grizzly bears and it is true until you look out the window. When you turn away, is the tree still there? These are things that I have to deal with as a scientist and it sucks.


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dionwoods987654321
Jul 17 2014 06:50 PM

It's very interesting that you say that toonami. I am not an evolutionist. I'm a creationist, I believe in god. I find it ironic i stumbled on to quantum physics and it completely blew my mine? The world is 99.9999999 percent empty space and .00000001 matter? When we look reality is different? We create particles when we look but when we don't look it's waves? What!!!! So bizarre such a bizarre science. Now I don't think we live in a virtual reality like Tom Campbell would say but I think we live a reality that's not allental but a reality that's all energy because after all that empty space is actually quarks of energy? What is your opinion on reality it's self. I must say it does cause a lot of extra thinking !
 
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