I apollogize for the long post but i am quite distressed right now
So for the last month i've been having extreme desrealization symptoms as if everything was a dream, i see colors, light flashes, fog and smoke that moves around places or comes out of things, i also feel things loose color or look a like a painting to be more accurate a painting by Edward Hopper i also see things longer that they are specially when i walk i feel like the road will never end and that it will take me to some strange place but the most strange thing regarding this set of symptoms is this part where the place where i am completely changes, i was going home and suddenly i saw everything turned into a forest, i was showering and i saw my bathroom transform into a bathroom from a different house and i was convinced that i was in that strange house, also i saw my room turn into the painting room from my university and saw my teacher and a friend and i heard them speaking and this things have happened several times, i am a bit scared since a get quite disoriented when this happens, okay now to the other parts i dont understand: i havent been able to sleep because im convinced that some strange shadow that follows me (i see it) is going to kill my pets or that my neighbours are poisoing them, also i worry that a fairy will leave the gas stove open at night and my house will explode. I see people meditating at night theyre sitting calmy near my house and everything i see them they seem to come closer.I have a little insight on this but no matter what people tell me i still fear of this thing killing my pets or making my house explode i cant get rid of the fear, also i might write really well but when it comes to speaking i cant seem to be able to organize toughts and talk but i do it very slowly like in slow motion ( i had one episode 3 weeks ago i think where i just spoke a lot and said a lot of incoherent things to my friends and asked them all sorts of favors i cant barely remeber what happend i even took a bus and realized i had done so because of my friends and stuff like that where i really loose it) I am quite concerned because i havent had any traumatic events in my life, i dont suffer social anxiety, all i know is that i am really confused anything makes sence anymore and i do live a stressfull life but i dont think anxiety is the cause of this but rather something diferrent? Can i be having mild phsycosis? 4 years ago i was diagnosed bipolar disorder but got no medication since i was really young (14)i mean i am really concerned since doing simple life tasks is becoming really hard, go out, talk, stay a full class, eat, sleep, i feel really depressed like if this shadow will get inside of me and throw me to the ground while im walking, i dont know i might just be paranoic but i need aome advice.
So for the last month i've been having extreme desrealization symptoms as if everything was a dream, i see colors, light flashes, fog and smoke that moves around places or comes out of things, i also feel things loose color or look a like a painting to be more accurate a painting by Edward Hopper i also see things longer that they are specially when i walk i feel like the road will never end and that it will take me to some strange place but the most strange thing regarding this set of symptoms is this part where the place where i am completely changes, i was going home and suddenly i saw everything turned into a forest, i was showering and i saw my bathroom transform into a bathroom from a different house and i was convinced that i was in that strange house, also i saw my room turn into the painting room from my university and saw my teacher and a friend and i heard them speaking and this things have happened several times, i am a bit scared since a get quite disoriented when this happens, okay now to the other parts i dont understand: i havent been able to sleep because im convinced that some strange shadow that follows me (i see it) is going to kill my pets or that my neighbours are poisoing them, also i worry that a fairy will leave the gas stove open at night and my house will explode. I see people meditating at night theyre sitting calmy near my house and everything i see them they seem to come closer.I have a little insight on this but no matter what people tell me i still fear of this thing killing my pets or making my house explode i cant get rid of the fear, also i might write really well but when it comes to speaking i cant seem to be able to organize toughts and talk but i do it very slowly like in slow motion ( i had one episode 3 weeks ago i think where i just spoke a lot and said a lot of incoherent things to my friends and asked them all sorts of favors i cant barely remeber what happend i even took a bus and realized i had done so because of my friends and stuff like that where i really loose it) I am quite concerned because i havent had any traumatic events in my life, i dont suffer social anxiety, all i know is that i am really confused anything makes sence anymore and i do live a stressfull life but i dont think anxiety is the cause of this but rather something diferrent? Can i be having mild phsycosis? 4 years ago i was diagnosed bipolar disorder but got no medication since i was really young (14)i mean i am really concerned since doing simple life tasks is becoming really hard, go out, talk, stay a full class, eat, sleep, i feel really depressed like if this shadow will get inside of me and throw me to the ground while im walking, i dont know i might just be paranoic but i need aome advice.
