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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know that it is, but sometimes I feel like its something more (thats just me overthinking it lol) im gonna list my symptoms cause im wondering if anyone has similar ones and can give me any advice in how to find some relief

- blank mind, THE WORST symptom id say for me. Cant think, cant think deeply, no/barley any inner monologue, no random thoughts like usual, cant make ANYthing up like things to say or ideas about things, no ideas about anything, no creativity about things, cant think about things deeply, dont have thoughts going through my head like usual, cant picture things im head,etc.... theres a lot but I cant think of the things loll
-stuttering while talking to people and friends, dont know what to say, which is weird for me and unusual cause im REALLY outgoing, talkative and always know what to say and keep that going, im just quiet like this cause my minds blank
- feels like im boring, cant make anything up or say anything, just blank and numb
- thoughts feel distant, like they're not mine, when I think about something ill forget about it 1 min later and ill be blank again
- feels like brain is blocked
- brain fog
- heavy head feeling, cotton or wool in head, light and/or heavy headed
- cant focus or concentrate on ANYTHING
- chronic boredom (symptom of my bpd) but gets much WORSE during dpdr episodes
- social anxiety, HORRIBLE cos im extremely talkative and not anxious with anyone usually
- lose ALL self confidence
- chronic lonley feeling even with friends, when im "normal" I love being alone and NEVER feel lonley even alone, especially with people, in these episodes I feel lonely even with my friends
- CONSTANT deja vu, even with places ive never been to, really uncomfortable not the nice kind I usually get, its weird and scary
- feels like ive reverted back in time because if the deja vu, I mentioned this in another post I dont wanna go on about it but its kinda like im going to mentally go back in time and my recent memories and how I feel will be erased because of the next symptom....
- ^^ short term memory loss, as well as long term
- doesnt feel like what I JUST did or recently have done, I have done it, feels like I never did it or it wasnt me
- also feels like anything Ive actually ever done wasnt me, although it was
- jamais vu, realky bad sometimes, doesnt feel like I know this is my house it doesnt feel like it, but I know it is. Like I know that these are my friends, but I dont really feel like I know them or something, uncomfortable feeling
- feels like im dumb ir that ive lost my deep thinking and intelligent
- WORST in the sun or when its really bright out
- constant flashbacks of random memories I usually have forgotten or dont even care about
- chronic weird nostalgia, not nice nostalgia that I love to get that warm and makes you reminisce a bit, this is lime weird its like im going back in time and reliving it
- also no nostalgia, like I cant connect to myself and what I usually did
- feels like im making no new memories and no knew nostalgia feelings, like everything thats happening isnt me and doesnt feel real or normal
- confusion of where I am, feels blank, mind feels erased for a moment then comes back, but leaves me confused and scared and uncomfortable
- feeling of chronic mental uncomfortableness
- chronic feelings of embarrassment
- feels like ive lost my strong options and my moral compass
- feels like ive lost myself and my personality, who I am, doesnt feel like I have a connection with who I am "normally", makes me uncomfortable trying to think of me "normally" feels like its not me, when I know thats who I AM
- feels weird and uncomfortable when I try to think, because my mind feels like I just cant so it feels weird
- no connection to who I am "normally, my memories or to my thoughts and self
- feels like im stuck in a dream or that im dead
- stuck in another reality
- nothing feels real and everything feels really off and something eerie about it
- doesnt feel like I know who I am, when I obviously do
- exticential OCD
- feels like Ill forget who I am
- scared OCD thoughts that THIS is how I am "normally" and me ACTUALLY "normally" is me in dpdr and that ive always had dpdr now im out and thats why I deel weird, this is JUST an OCD loop but It scares me
- coincidences scare me for some reason when im like this
- mental OCD and anxiety loop
- everything feels like im reliving it and that its happend before
- when I do something ill remeber or feel nostalgia thats scary to something ive done a long time ago that Has nothing to do with what im doing now but it will feel like im doing that againits REALLY weird
- feels like im not living in the moment or anything, but in a mental loop
- stuck in mental loop and brain feeling
- feels like I dont know what I like or like to do
- apathy
- anphantasia (idk how to spell it lol)
- tunnel vision
- visual snow and floaters, blurred vison
- feelings of impending doom or that something bads going to happen
- no dreams durinf dpdr, or I cant remember them. Usually i have vivid dreams and can remember them recently well almost every night, during this I have none
- everything just feels off and wrong, like my bedroom just doesnt feel like its mine, it feels like ive never been in it and that I have no connection to it
- feels like when I speak its not my voice
- what I see and what I do and expirence, Isnt me and then 5 mins later feels like ive never done it or that it wasnt qme doing it
- feels like everything I see us throught a screen, blurry and its not me seeing it, again not making new memories or feelings
- no feelings towards anything
- feels like im watching my body oustide of it and myself
- feeks like a imma shell, like im not who I am and im just empty
- everything feels distorted, too small or too big, not real at all
- feels like im dreaming while awake
- struggling to recognize myself and others
- getting uncomfortable thinking about memories, even recent ones, or good ones for some reason
-frequently feeling dizzy
- cant connect to my past or to who I am feelings
- struggling to connect to people
- feels like my past, even recently isnt me and that I cant connect to it, and I get uncomfortable cause it doesnt feel like its me
- constant flashbacks (continued) there really strong and it feels like im going back in time and im not in the moment at all, no connection to what im doing, no thoughts, literally nothing
- zoning out worse than before and being blank
- aleanted in my own body
- disoriented, waking uo in the middle of the night now knowing where I am, sometimes randomly I Have the feeling of disorientation just doing regualr things throughout the day
- everyday feels like I blurr, not making any new feelings or memories (idk how to explain this that well)
- sounds are too loud
- rooms feel like their spinning or moving
- lights are too brings and im sensitive to them suddenly
- hyperware of the world and myself
- anxiety if everything is real or not
- everythign seems dull and grey
- outdoors are overwhelming, when usually I love going outside and doing things
- usually I always plan and think of the future and things, but I cant really in these episodes, feel uncomfortable or blank when trying to think of this or in general
- hallucinations, only sounds
- scared to be going crazy or that this is going to be schizophrenia
- some of schizophrenia and psycosis symptoms, but pretty sure its not cause im aware that I feel thise things and there not real
- constantly tired and lethargic, that ill fall asleep in any given
moment
- head feels inside is fuzzy and stung by a bee
- feels like I havent slept when I have, like when I wake up feels like I slept for 3 mins, feels like I blink and its morning, SOO WEIRD ????
- hot and cold flashes
- flesh and skin crawling, like theres bugs constantly on my skin
- head pressure, constant dull pain on one side of head that doesnt go away with medication
- I have bad headaches but for some reason they go away during these episodes
- heart palpitations and constant chest pain
- cant walk or stanf properly, wobbling
- feels like ive lost my personality, trying to remember it (although I can and im exactly the same) it feels like Im not or that that's not me and that I cant remember when I can, just dont feel like myself I hate it
- sometimes more connection to older memories than more recent ones, makes me uncomfortable, amnesia feeling, makes me feel more of a connection to the past which feeds my mental paranoid loop, although "normally" I feel connection and can remeber recent ones well like usual
- just everything feels unreal, off, weird, eerie, uncomfortable

There's more but I cant think of them all obviously lol, also I rambled a lot but thats how I feel and Im not sure how to 100% deal with it. Advice would be GREATLY appreciated :))
 

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Hi 647shordyx ,

Sorry to hear what you going through, its tough and challenging! I can relate to 99% of what you are experiencing, except for the bad headaches which I dont get and add poor body temperature regulation, where I feel temperature about 10 Deg F more than what it is. It does not show on a thermometer, its my nervous system out of sync, as I have had thyroid and diabetes tests.

I have a continuous burning skin feeling around my torso and back too.

Do you experience visually that everything is more dark, almost like a scary movie effect? I cant get passed this experience.

My DR is so bad, I have moved back to my home town of over 30 years, and struggle with reality, as I dont feel any emotional attachment, and have the serious amnesia, where I cant remember much.

This is my second round of DPDR (this time leaning more towards DR). I had it 13 years ago, brought on by taking a drag of a joint, but I had a lot of anxiety due to personal issues. It took me over 3 years to heal then from DPDR. So I was one of those success stories!

And here I am again, had this really bad DPDR now for a year now, due to the reason of a bad marital breakup, and going on prescription medication, which brought on the DPDR. I have gone off most of the medication, but near the end of tapering off Ativan, which is a benzodiazapene, which ironically can cause DPDR, but it didnt.

Have you been taking any medication if I may ask? Just curious, as can make symptoms a bit worse.
 

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deja vu is associated with focal temporal lobe seizure. I suffered spells of deja vu. An EEG showed my temporal lobe waves were consistent with someone

with a history of epileptic seizure. When I came to understand a seizure can be more than losing consciousness and jerking around, I recognized I had

been having focal seizures for many years. Epileptic syndromes and depressive illness are associated. They still don't understand the brain very well,

but an EEG can help sort out some neurological disorders. I recommend it to those who have symptoms that disrupt their lives.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
^^ sorry about what you're going through too. But no I dont take any medications, I take supplements like L-theanine, and a few other vitamins.
But I was on blexten n two other similar meds for sinusitis and it actually has made it worse, especially cos I took it longer than I should have.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Im getting an EEG and an MRI in bout a week, so hopefully ill know soon. I woudnt be suprised because my uncle had epilepsy and had deja vu which shook him up someimes up to a week.
 

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My EEG told the medical folks some things about me, but having an explanation for all the odd symptoms I experienced allowed me to

make sense of my life. It was like living a life full of fear of the monster under the bed, and finally realizing it was all my imagination.

My illness began with epileptic discharges at 17, and ended with 7 induced grand mal seizures. (ECT) at age 57. No one understands

the 40 years in between, but me.
 
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