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Is this DP? EXTREME Blank Mind

2943 Views 7 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Al_pk
I was wondering if anyone else can relate to me in any way. Its SO hard to describe whats going on with me. Like I neither feel like I do or don't exist. Its just like an empty void that has no meaning to me. The current way I'm feeling all started after my boyfriend passed away a month ago now. I think it traumatized me so much it caused my brain to totally malfunction and go totally blank.

Here are my symptoms:

- A LOT of problems visualizing

- Short and long term memory loss

- Almost not ability to recall memories

- Can't retain any information

- Can't connect to anything in my life or my surroundings

- House doesn't feel like "home"

- Don't remember what its like to feel alive or normal

- Don't really dream anymore and when I do its usually bad/disturbing dreams

- Every day feels like a new day, like yesterday or tomorrow doesn't exist

- Just about no interest in things I sued to like doing, and even when I do have nay kind of interest it doesn't register to my brain that I'm actually doing it

- Felling "trapped" in this state of mind

- Always waking up in a panic

- Body/ mind only allows me a few hours of sleep at a time

- Everything feels very uncomfortably familiar

- Only seem to know facts about myself, but they hold no meaning

- NO sense of self/ identity

- Scared I'll never feel like myself or involved in my own life again

- Very uncomfortable being alone

I absolutely don't have anything physical symptoms or visual. for the most part its just been mental ones that are causing em to feel totally disconnected to everything in my life. Has anyone ever recovered from this? I had similar symptoms before a couple years ago when I had DP the last time. This time just feels so different. Like my brain is truly FUCKED ( sorry for the profanity its just truly how I feel)
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DPDR feels different for everyone, your symptoms sound a lot like me when I was at my worst.

Most of these passed through lowering of anxiety and obsessive thoughts, through both therapy (CBT, ERT, and getting good knowledge on the disorder) and an antidepressant that worked really well for me.

I'm still struggling often but I'm a lot better DPDR wise, and I really resonate with the feeling that your brain is really broken and the feeling that you can NEVER see the world like you used to or the panic-like fear of your own self-consciousness. These will pass if you work on them, just don't expect to get better in one day or week or even month, acceptance is very important here.

Good luck, you can get through this.
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