Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 6 of 6 Posts

· Registered
3 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, I'll start from the beginning.

One night, was a friend and me -

He smokes pretty regular, And we were hanging out one weekend, and i had been putting the weed off the whole time, until one night-

He was like just come try it.

I went upstairs on the balcony and he was using a bong. I was like idk how to use this, he said here ill show you.

He showed me, and i did 3 bowls. What i didn't know, that i was some creeper bud. Only reason i kept going, bowl after bowl - was because i never felt it.. And due to it being creeper.. It sure enough creeped up on me.

I panicked, freaked out.

I told my friend, was like yo, something wrong and i need to go to the doctor. I was telling him - That i dont feel right, and feel as if im in a dream.

I was totally effed up. I was FREAKING out. He calmed me down, and told me to just relax and go to sleep.

I SOMEHOW.. Fell asleep and woke up, felt fine.

1 week later, i started thinking about that night, and i was getting flash backs.. And i went into a panic attack again, and from that day to now, i've not really been the same. I got checked [Drug Tested] and it was not laced, or anything. That helped me a little, and so did going to a psychiatrist. I was put on zoloft, and it really didnt do much help, i had a reaction to it, and caused me to have vivid dreams and very weird thoughts.

But since ive been off the zoloft, i've been having crazy existential thoughts, and thoughts of like 'lifes a dream' and 'No point in doing anything, you die'

And ofcourse, i had a fear of being schizo.. but i know deep down, i dont. But the thoughts are always there.

And when i am having a convo with people, i dont feel like im the one talking. I just feel like disconnected. But its not always there.

Very scary feeling. Then that leads into a anxiety session, and i have to calm myself down.

But here lately, it's not been that bad. I still have the thoughts about our existence, and god and all that..

But i dont want to bring religion into this, so yeah.

Is this derealization? or what.. Should i be scared?

And its stressing me out, feeling this way. I wake up with these thoughts/feelings and go to bed with them.

The stress/anxiety is causing vivid dreams also.. So

Is this normal? has anyone else been through this?

Thank you guys!!!

· Registered
110 Posts
Does it cause the God questions? the existence questions? the 'Is life fake' questions?
I'm in the attitude now, were i just dont care, just gonna let go and ride the wave.
You are describing one of the most common symptoms of DP. Lately I've been having it bad, too. I often explain it as though I feel like I don't have a soul or I don't know what "is" is. I can't connect to my own being. Only other people with DP understand what I mean by that. Try explaining that to a normal person and they look at you like u have 3 heads

IMO the best way to cope and get past the worst parts of it are to get lost in something: a movie, music, book, conversation with someone, driving- anything. These will help ease it up until you are able to start recovering
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.