[Mipmunk]

One of my main symptoms for DP is being nervous of myself and thinking who am I, going roung in my head, I feel nervous of myself and look at everyone around me that seems to be connected to themselves except me. I look in the mirror and I recognize the face but I don't feel like the person looking back at me.

My DP is going but I always know that as long as I am bothered about who I am and my identity then I am DP'd.

When the DP is going who am I doesn't matter and I have a full strong identity.

I am getting 2 or 3 triggers a day lifting me out of the DP, but they seem endless. I am okay at the moment, anxiety not too bad, but I don't feel like me, I can feel it coming back. But the issue of my identity is still niggling at me.

Anyone experience DP like this??

Mip
x
:?

 

[Monkeydust]

Yeah, that's classic DP.

You sound like when your symptoms subside, the feeling of identity comes back too. So it's safe to say that you do have a solid identity somewhere...you just have a problem "connecting" with it at times.

This being the case, I don't see any good reason why, in time, and with work and effort, you shouldn't be able to make what are the "good times" now be all times.

 

[Mipmunk]

I can feel my identity coming back, it isn't just completely back yet and it is frustrating. I can feel it coming back, but I still don't feel like "me" and the issue of who I am is still niggling at me. I am getting the triggers every day bringing me out of it, it is taking a long time this time (15 weeks so far).

I know somewhere there is a "me" that doesn't care about who I am, it is just trying to get connected to it again...

Mippy
x

 

[Sojourner]

"Triggers" usually refer to things that bring on bad feelings, but I think you are using it to mean the opposite, which is a little confusing.

You say you can feel your identity coming back, as if that were a good thing, but then you go on to say that somewhere there is a "you" that doesn't care about who you are and that you are trying to get connected with that.

Do you see that those two things are mutually exclusive and that you have set yourself up for a wild goose chase?

 

[Martinelv]

That's classic DP alright. Sojourner and Monkeydust are spot on.

You must remember, or at least keep the thought at the back of your mind, that what you are experiencing is abnormal. DR/DP is NOT your normal state. You must do this.

Obsessive rumination about 'who am I' or 'what is life' is a futile exercise when you are suffering from DR/DP. It's like someone who is suffering from cancer putting all their mental energy into their pain. It's pointless and self-defeating. You, despite how you feel right now, will not lose your identity, you are suffering from an illness, that's all. End of story. When (not if) you recover, you will look back at this crap and laugh at the peculiarity of it all.

 

[Mipmunk]

I agree. I can feel myself connecting with my sense of self and identity, it just hasn't completely connected yet, so the who am I still means something because I am not completely connected. When I am connected to my sense of self, who am I won't bother me or really mean anything.

I can feel myself connecting, it is just very gradual, until I get that final lift/trigger which clicks me back into normal mode, if that makes sense...

Mip
x

 

[Sojourner]

Right. OK. Got it.

Just let it flow. Evidently, your posting your thoughts is helping the process.

Let it be -- let it happen of its own accord, which is what seems to be happening for you, if I am reading you correctly now.

Think, "Mighty, flowing river taking me home" -- and you'll be there in a jiffy.

I think the anxiety will soon wear off; you're possibly anxious because the DP is gone.

Let it be.

Repeat after me, "I am not going to worry" even if you feel incapable of carrying that out in reality. Say it whenever you start to ruminate and you will be using autosuggestion as it was intended to be used.

I expect you will report before week's end that your anxiety is at a low enough level to be virtually unnoticable.

:wink:

 

[Mipmunk]

thank you for the advice. I am so tired, I didn't sleep much last night cos of the anxiety. I feel so tired, at the moment I feel more physically tense than mentally tense, my arms and legs ache, I have tried to relax and listen to some music but they ache, yeuch!

I definitely feel that the DP is going, I just feel a bit low and inwards (if you get my meaning), I know I have been a lot happier and energetic and extrovert than this, I just don't feel myself. I am getting a bit better each day, but having had so much anxiety and trying to get through each day, it does tire you out, I get tired and fatigued really easily.

Thanx for your advice and kind words everybody.

I think I am going to go and try and relax and get some sleep, and again hope than tomorrow is better than today.

Love to you all.

Mippy
xxxxx