[delicateshadow]

I don't have a psychiatric diagnosis, though my therapist and I have discussed things a bit.

I am wondering if it is possible to have both Borderline PD and Depresonalisation Disorder?
Complex PTSD (or DESNOS)is also a possibility, however because depresonalisation and dissociation is such a large part of my experiencing....?????

Thanks...

Katie

 

[delicateshadow]

I guess noone has any thoughts?

 

[Guest]

I don't know enough to comment I'm afraid but someone will post soon.

 

[Guest]

Of course it's possible. From what I have read, dp as a symptom and disorder has a very high comorbidity with many disorders. But a word of caution, try not to diagnose yourself because when it boils down to it, it's all just guessing. There are so many classifications these days that it's hard to know what anyone has, especially oneself.

 

[Guest]

Hi Soiledangel,

Yes it is possible. Ive been diagnosed with both BPD (a few strong traits) and Complex PTSD (DESNOS). They both have DP and DR and dissociation as symptoms.
You can PM me if you like if you are interested to know more about this.
Welcome btw and really like your avatar!

 

[delicateshadow]

thanks people

Wendy, thanks....will think first...

the original root of my depersonalisation was when, as a newborn premature infant deprived of any maternal contact and closeness (in incubator alone so I could survive...) my feelings were unbearable and terrifyingly painful, so much that I dissociated from them.
Its these feelings that I am starting to unfreeze from in therapy now


My T, who isn't into labels, tends to see this as a trauma, and also connects it to borderline traits (in classical analytic rather than DSM) and of course depression.

there were other traumas throughout my childhood that added to the original one
-being bullied
-dysfunctional, 'cold' family
sometimes its hard to know what comes from what...

My therapist called the terrified angry distressed me "the other Katie", and that helped a lot.....

 

[Guest]

the original root of my depersonalisation was when, as a newborn premature infant deprived of any maternal contact and closeness (in incubator alone so I could survive...) my feelings were unbearable and terrifyingly painful, so much that I dissociated from them.

sometimes its hard to know what comes from what...

Hi Katie,

I recognize things in your story.
As a child, two weeks after my birth, I developed a skin disease (psoriasis, in severe form). Ive had this untill my 15th.
This means that I have lacked the proper kind of 'touch' from very early on, so lacked love and affection physically. I know this is one of the factors that attributed to having DP in my later life (and like with you, other stuff/trauma added to this as well, which makes it hard to discern what comes from what, I understand this..lol).

Recently Ive made a start with learning to touch my body (my legs), in an affectionate and soft way. Sounds silly, but it works. Doing this, makes the pain that is stored in my body come out. Through these touches, I connect with my emotions.
I find it quite amazing and beautiful at the same time that I can 'unfreeze' my body and emotions in this way a little bit.

I've found out that my Dp has a lot to do with making emotional contact/connections, with myself and through myself with others.
But its all very fragile, and touch is scary as there is so much pain.

I hope what Im saying makes sense, find it hard to find words for what I actually wanna say.
But its among others this I think I recognize in you.

Its sounds you are working on yourself being very aware of what is going on with you, its nice to see that. Good luck with this.

Take care,
Wendy

 

[delicateshadow]

Wendy, it makes absolute absolute sense, that lack of touch....

and what you say....

I've found out that my Dp has a lot to do with making emotional contact/connections, with myself and through myself with others.
But its all very fragile, and touch is scary as there is so much pain.

only very recently am I starting to feel some connection with people...through directly tracking my dissociation and dp etc in therapy...

Good for you for working on the touch, and it doesn't sound silly at all...

My therapist has trainings in body psychotherapy and biodynamic therapy, and earlier in our work together she did some simple touch/holding me which was very powerful...

Interesting especially that the skin what we both talk about, and its also that point of contact with the world and others, our boundary.

Often I feel 'skinless', like I have no skin, so raw, vulnerable, unprotected...

Thanks Wendy....

take care,

Katie

 

[Guest]

There is a book you might like by Judith Mitrani, called "Ordinary People, Extraordinary Protections" - now bear in mind that she is a psychoanalyst and it is a professional book....you can certainly understand what you're reading, but it is DENSE, lol....it's not for anyone out there looking for some quick description of theory. She is of the Winnicott, Bion, Klein school of thought (if you're familiar with analysis, that will give you a "flavor" of the type of theory she works with).

She writes about a "second skin" and how very primitive defenses, such as dissociative experiences, can represent a "containment" for self, a kind of layer within layer that puts additional steps (or armor) between the Ego and its interactions with the external world. If that sounds interesting at all, then you might like her book. If this entire thread is making you feel like you're losing your mind, then don't even bother checking her out, lol

 

[delicateshadow]

hey, thanks Janine, that's right up my street! will order it!

dense is no hassle for me cos I did a foundation year in integrative psychotherapy and counselling, then started the MA, but had to leave off.

So it sounds brilliant reading, and rather like what I am working with, and my therapist's 'style'....



Katie

 

[delicateshadow]

I recommend that book to people with similar experiences to what I describe above...its a very very supportive book.....and not too dense either, really....

(btw Schizotypal fits me too...like the 'missing link'...)

 

[Essex]

AAARR so long ago this post, but I've only just seen it...it relates to my story quite a bit...though over the yrs I've had BPD attached to me...my Therapist seemed to think I was more "narcisstic" than BPD...as in being stuck in the "Narcisstic" stage..I was adopted and for the first 9 days was taken care of by anyone whom was on duty in the maternity wing...I've always thought that I would reclaim memory's of this in total vision but of course its never going to be like that...I cut off my feeling self at that time as the anxiety of not having the narcisstic object "birth mother" present and continus would have been to traumatic to deal with as a baby so I "split"...added on to this being adopted by narcissitc adoptive parents my start was very shakey...I am currently in the "Middle" of it all in therapy and sometimes lack hope that I will ever recover my "split" off parts...it seems an impossible task...for something that happened so many yrs ago...does anyone relate or have hopeful stories of recovery of the "self"?