Is it just an illusion? ...Thinking that I may be able to control all this? All the problems I have caused to myself and to people around me? That in fact it is a matter of choice? That I am just playing foolish games that I don't want to quit?
Anyone else gets these ideas? I just got a lot more of this right now.
Or it's just questions in which I don't have an answer (the things that trouble me). But then, maybe I should. And maybe I can.
My therapist was just telling me again today that I'm like this because of my distorted thinking. It's hard for me to believe also. I keep trying to explain to him that the DP is just there, but he doesn't get it.
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