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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Does anyone ever feel completely invalidated?

Does anyone ever feel like an unloved child, as if you're still a dependent child?

Anyone ever feel tiny, minute, and invisable?

Anyone have a conscience or understand pain or a broken heart?

Ever feel completely shredded?

Am I blue vapour, gold light, something to be ignored, like a dead vessel.


Discussion Starter · #3 ·
feministcat said:
yes ghost, i feel some of those things..
you're not alone :(
hmm... I'm paranoid...

Y'know what I am...

See my body as a "cut out" shape? See it?

Now, BLOT IT OUT. Put a shadow where my body stands, blot my entire body out.

I'm the wicked witch of the west, I just melted. You just smashed through my vulnerability.
I disappeared. Every part of me fell apart.

I'm blotted out. Not invisable, I'm forced to treat my internals as things in a shell. People treat my body like a case. No pain or thought goes on inside it.

I'm blotted out.

Discussion Starter · #6 ·
i too am paraniod, feel invisible.pointless worthless,tiny, a dot on this planet......

...... and i bloody well HATE the way i feel
yes yes yes yes yes yes.
I think... as a parent. You can get "angry".

You can control your kids by not letting them get angry back.

You can dis-empower your children and control their lives.
You can do anything you want. You can get as angry as you like to "perceived" naughty things that your children have done. You can "control" all the urges within you frustrated by societies constraints.

You can play all the games your parents played that tore you to shreds.

I was a pawn for the anger of my family.
My control over alleviating stress, getting furious and controlling my environment was zero.

I have years and years of junk in me that was injected by a willing family.

Everything "they" did and everything "I" did is still all my fault.

I was like a human sacrifice. My family was bubbling over with mental illness, stress, unhappiness and anger. I was born wide-eyed, artistic and emotional. Kind, forgiving and naive. I was born able to think for myself.

I cant believe that everything is still my fault, and they cant see why I'd hate them, and not "owe" them anything. They stripped away my essence and devoured my hope and good qualities.

Why cant abusive people see that they've done anything wrong.

How can everything still be my fault.

I feel like the Psychiatric system is like a continued punishment.

I often say to therapists that they are happily continuing the "work" of my Mother. I dont really know what I want from therapy. I get accused of going round & round, but so does therapy.

I feel that my trauma is so bad now that no therapist will ever be good enough to fix it. It goes way too deep. No-one will ever be able to comprehend it.

Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Damn, I really am not alone in this, am I?????????
:) Reverse psychology.

I'm invalid. Negated. I'm so pure that I'm not good enough.
Every fibre in me is being tested and slowly picked apart and drained.

:p Is illegal.

:shock: Is thought to be funny.

:cry: Is how I can manipulate.

:mrgreen: :lol: Will have my family going wild if they think it's connected to true emotion.

They'd be scrambling to depress and humiliate me.

:oops: :( :shock: :eek: :x Is my "soul", the one everyone agrees with.

:D Is too empowered.

:| Is why I get ignored. It is my true mirror reflection. Braindead & invisible.
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