Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 5 of 5 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Pls. be positive, i am a bit scared. So, jumping straight to the question...like me were/are you a little bit 'ascetic' too, even before DP hit you?? I mean most of us, incl. me are introverts & i guess acc. to definition a lot of things which the masses find enjoyable do not hold the same value to us, right? But, i have to tell you about how i have been since, i can remember for 5-7 years.

Before the dp phase(which started 4-5 months before), i would define myself as a person who had really large dreams & i thought i had ALLLOT to offer & do in this world. I would imagine myself being so successful like no one had ever been in the IT business in whole world. I always dreamt of big dreams like having my own rock concert, making my own movies, design games & doing so much good for humanity in this world etc.(Sounds crazy, yeah i know) At the same time, i won't found myself interested in things of ephemeral values or things which won't give me the magnitude of gratification that i desired. What i wanna say is, i never imagined myself being interested in things which give little pleasure(with many people around doing & actually enjoying those same things), i always wanted to go for very big & heavy stuff. Now there were two things i felt most of time-

1.) I had a knack for pondering things that i would face in the future. Once, when i thought, if i didn't have such big dreams to keep myself invested in & to work for...i saw emptiness. I was afraid that what would i live for if, if, there weren't things in life to keep me occupied.

2.) The above thought i had, was 2-3 yrs before dp, so what i wanna say is, after the first time i had it, this thought didn't bother me in the meanwhile again. I kept myself busy preparing myself for the big & interesting plans for my life.

Fast forward to recent times with dp. Now, for a person having interests(& philosophy) in life like me, it's not hard to imagine, how dp can screw your shit. I was happy before dp, but now, when even my most desired things & ambitions don't interest me many a times(which i guess is also a dp symptom) and when my mind thinks about future, the thought(one which i mentioned above) brings hopelessness to me & brings thoughts like, will i be able to live my life or will i run out of the interest for the living the same. Now pls pls tell me it's not going to be like this. Even a with of bit asceticism, i was happier before dp struck me. Also, are any of you too a bit ascetic too in your lives(not essentially like me, but to a certain degree). I would be so relaxed if someone can relate or reassure.Thanks
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
34 Posts
Well, I think we all suffered from a lot of grandiose delusions and obsessions to compensate for our low self esteem. I don't think everyone should be extroverted, but it's important that everyone be somewhat mindful and happy and at peace. This is what we are all lacking. DPDR is proof that wisdom, faith, mindfulness, acceptance are natural laws of the human condition. That is, if you suffer and feel empty enough, eventually you will be forced to learn to be wise. I've spent a lot of time in my life thinking, and hardly any time in my life doing and observing. We can still use our insights, so it wasn't for nothing, but we need to learn balance and humility.

Also, for me as a kid, I escaped into RPG games and pretended I was the savior of the world. I think it might have contributed to it, haha.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
DPDR is proof that wisdom, faith, mindfulness, acceptance are natural laws of the human condition. That is, if you suffer and feel empty enough, eventually you will be forced to learn to be wise.
This could be the possible reason. But then if you would just counter the feelings of hollowness, with faith, mindfulness & acceptance, will ALL of us be back to normal?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
34 Posts
What do you mean by normal? I think normal for most of us was just unhealthy and unsustainable. As for being a normal person, well I doubt that will ever be the case, but being a healthy person is completely possible.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
What do you mean by normal? I think normal for most of us was just unhealthy and unsustainable. As for being a normal person, well I doubt that will ever be the case, but being a healthy person is completely possible.
I will aim for being normal, i have to keep myself strong. I figured out that possibly it's my habit of delving deep & imaging into future things that fucked me up.

May god give us all the strength to move out from this dark phase. Thanks PseudoEthical
 
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
Top