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Hey guys, my name is lost4awhile. If your wondering, I have been suffering for well, four years. Hence the"lost4"awhile And I don't mean to cause any panic because everyone's behavior/willingness to change is different. Any how I remember hiking in August of 2014 and just feeling different, I remember the world feeling and seeming strange, I think this started from cannabis. I went through hell for a year emotionally, tons of obsessive thinking, self diagnosing, let's just say it's been rough and I want things finally to be different. Things have gotten better, but I still don't like where I am at. So here I am in 2018, recently went to a concert where I stumble into a BEAUTIFUL girl who takes some serious interest in me. I'm explaining this because I believe it sparked some motivation in me to want to get better again. I couldn't feel attraction to her, I couldn't feel emotion toward her. We were hugging and my mind seemed preoccupied and disassositive. In fact it started again at the concert, a freakin Eminem concert and I couldnt get into the vibe and environment. I faked interest with her as best I could because I think it's what I wanted deep down. I want to be able to connect with others, atleast that's what my mind used to think happen. I did want to mention also that I definitely had a serious video game addiction which I just decided to give up after years, thinking this will help. Any how, last questions. Anyone ever think pictures look more real then life? Anyone ever think to themselves I have no emotion and can't connect with others? Anyone ever just get a sense of disconnection like the brain just ain't working? Starting exercise, meditation and NO more video games for my regiumine, also scheduled anxiety CBT.

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