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Intro and question about symptoms

748 Views 6 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  TomBombadil
Hello folks. I've been lurking here for a few weeks and thought it time to register and ask something about symptoms, or more specifically, the triggers for your symptoms.

First for some background about myself. I'm a 37 year old male that's been living with what I think is DP/DR for at least 17 years. Now, I'm not sure how it started, yes I did use pot, and and few other things as a teenager. However, I'm not sure this was the cause.

Every since I was a young teen, I always had thoughts about infinity, time, and me and how I relate to all this. I remember going into a hyper analysis of me. And I think at some point during this pivotal time in my life, I whent over the edge, so to speak.

Let me explain my symptoms, and when they occur. Compared to some folks here; I may be lucky in that it only happens when I'm alone. I've only had an episode once in public. And I believe I received an incorrect diagnosis from my doctor (Panic Attack Syn). This was a couple years back, already been on and off Paxil.

So, here's what happens, the only way I can explain it. If it were'nt so scary and unsettling, it would be almost comical. You see it will happen when I'm completely alone. Now I have to explain "completely." For example, when I take a shower, and no one's home, I have to leave the bathroom door open. I leave the door open because we have dogs. They hang out by the door. Without the dogs, or if the door is closed, I cannot help but go into what I think of as self hyper-analysis. I start to feel there's no one but me on Earth. Or it will feel dream-like, or I'm not real. Then I get this crazy feeling that I have to run . . . FROM ME!!! More than once, I've come flying out of the bathroom, trying to get away from me. :?

It's like dominos; once I start down the slope, there's no going back. On the flip side, if my minds occupied on other things, sometimes I'll catch myself actually going about my business without the hyper-analysis.

The symptoms recede almost instantly once I see or hear people or any living creature . . . nuts.

Of course this is a major hindrance to career and life. I work in a Lab as a technician. I have to leave a half hour early because no one's in the lab . . . but ME. ARRGHHH!

I can't be with ME, what is this? Is it DP?

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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Start taking your showers with someone. I do. :D

No, seriously, it sounds like it's anxiety to me. You're setting yourself up for this by expecting to be panicky when you're alone. Plus this is a time when you have no distraction and you are completely in your own head and thoughts. Simply just concentrate on what you are doing (washing yourself, doing your work) and you will keep your mind at ease.

Just to let you know, for some reason showering is often a time of difficulty for me. My shower is black, the water would feel odd, and I was just stuck there in my own mind wandering.
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