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Major Depression sufferer with anxiety and insomnia. At the height of a depressive episode, sleep no longer exists for me. I once went 52 days without real sleep. They say that is impossible. I disagree. Every 2 or 3 days I would fall unconscious for maybe 2 hours, then I was awake and fighting anxiety again.

My psychiatrist was unable to help me. I was hospitalized for 4 days. Every hour through the night, a nurse would crack the door and do a bed check. I went on report as being asleep. I was not asleep. In effect, my psychiatrist did not believe my reports of insomnia. He had his reports to believe in.

My hospital stay was a joke, and I left against medical advice after those 4 days. I was prescribed chloral hydrate. I took 2 of them and woke up an hour later. I finally went to the library in an attempt to save my life. I read a book or two on insomnia and learned that a small dose of Elavil (Amitriptyline)

produced a hypnotic effect in some patients that induced sleep. I asked my doctor to prescribe it, and I had my first real sleep in 52 days. I slept 8 hours the first time I took 100mg. For another episode of depression with insomnia, I tried the antipsychotic Seroquel. A daily dosage for schizophrenia might be

400 or 500 mg or more. I took 75 mg and in a half hour, I almost couldn't make it to the bedroom. Discovering those 2 meds may have saved my life. Insomnia increase the risk of suicide in depression by 5X, and anxiety by another 5X.

Without restive sleep, you are burning the candle from both ends. Since I had ECT in 2014, I have not suffered any depressive symptoms. I had 5 major episodes in my lifetime, which is the typical average over the course of the illness. I think it is behind me.

If I ever experience insomnia again, I will know what to do.
 

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I don't take many meds and would like to go off the benzodiazepine. I'm not in a state of constant depression. This began when my mother died and we had been caregivers for about 6 years, She had some slight dementia and was in a wheelchair. I had no depression or anxiety since we had moved to Florida. I was constantly busy doing wash, meals, cleaning, shopping and more. I had to transfer her from the chair to the bed and vise versa. After she died I felt lost. I was used to family and her friends coming in and she went out. When she able to walk fine when we first moved down from N.J.

Two of my siblings stopped talking to me and they were in other states. Very dysfunctional family. I had no life after mom died and no one visited. I'm very social and I felt dead. Now I go to a gym, and do go out but don't do much else. The more I stay in the house and worry the more anxious I become and the depersonalization gets worse. The more you concentrate on symptoms the worse it is. A new therapist is teaching me acceptance and caring less about symptoms.
 
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