[eclecticsheep]

is anyone here suffering from repressed memories.
and how do you feel about it?
i have mine and when thay come they come all together and it makes me scared.
but when my memories do come back is when i feel myself and completely cured.
also anyone else sufferes from ptsd
and is this case of dp curable? (guesses)

thanks always.

`an alcocholic of dreams sleeping in a sleep made of snow`

 

[Guest]

My 13 year old has been diagnosed with DP/DR (much more DR, though), as well as generalized anxiety and what her therapist called "the worst case of PTSD" she's ever seen. She suffered severe and ongoing trauma as a very young child. I know her memories are painful enough that she cannot speak them - she can only write. I do not know if her memories ARE repressed but she certainly WANTS to repress them. She will no longer discuss/write about her past and asks, "what does my childhood have to do with anything?" Her doc says DP/DR are coping skills. She learned to detach through the traumas (and expectation of future traumas) as a means of "escape." Then when her hormones changed and her brain was exposed to pot her old mechanisms kicked in and she cannot shake them. They cannot tell me if meds (or which ones) will work or if therapy will free her. But I absolutely believe that for those pre-disposed by trauma PTSD is almost a given - a young child cannot suffer to that extent and not experience the fallout...

I believe she was predisposed to this disorder because of her childhood trauma. At 12 she tried pot the same day she started her period so one can never know which was the greater trigger or if she would not have been affected had they not occurred together. Forever a mystery...All I know is she has never been the same and I am beginning to feel hopeless. Other than to take her to docs and therapists I cannot help her -I cannot make it go away.

I have been advised by some wise people on this panel (and you know who you are) to try to distract her and get her thinking outward rather than inward. I wish more than anything I could help make the world real for her again. I miss her terribly.

A note to all: I hope you do not think me a voyer because I visit this site though I do not have DP/DR. Please know that your experiences give my daughter a voice and help me understand what goes on inside her.
My best to you all.

 

[ShyTiger]

My memories are not suppressed as such, i remember events but not the feelings that went with them. It was only as an adult when having flashbacks that i remembered how it felt. To start with i found them to be quite overwhelming and scarey. But now i see them as a good thing. Its almost like its allowing the part of myself to finally experience the events fully and therefore allow my self body/mind to complete what it was ment to but couldnt because it would of been unsafe to do so at that time. Its like finally being able to release that from myself. I do think all dp is curable. With trauma based dp i think its very important to work on the trauma issues.
G i definatly dont see you as a voyer! I think its wonderfull that you are so supportive of your girl and i hope you all find your path to healing.

 

[Martinelv]

What a tragic tale. 13 Years old, and having to deal with this s**t.

With most people, traumatic experiences (to varying degrees) are buried, and we get on with life without noticing. It's just when these experiences are so strong that our brains have to provide some protection from these painfull memories and from that springs DR/DP. What is confusing is that even if you recognise and 'deal' with these memories, the DR/DP can still persist. Then, I think, it has become a kind of learned behaviour, an addiction if you like. But at 13, Jesus, I think she has time on her side. So perhaps she really hasn't come to terms (whatever that means) with her buried torments. It certainly sounds like it.

 

[eclecticsheep]

to G-mom

g mon i am a 23 yo daughter.. i want to believe that a ptsd induced dp is curable... because i want to believe it has a cause.. and a cause is something you can fix.
i wont tell you not to worry, but as a child who is still living with their parents i want to tell you don't show her that you worry, it's already bad enough trying to cope with my problems let alone feeliing sorry for causing all this sorrow to my parents..
also don't give up faith. because that is the secret weapon for every condition
and your child will have hope if you a stronger fugure in her life has hope...
it helps me that my parents have hope.
also the only thing i think that helps is uncoditional love
and psychotherapy that slowly exposes you the trauma again...
and generally happiness in the family.
what caused this to your daughter
any advice you can give me as a mum would me nice

`an alcocholic of dreams in a sleep made of snow`

 

[eclecticsheep]

shy tigeri know exactly how you feel.
i have exactly the same feeling.
i do still have my memories but only the image of them, any feeling in them is gone or is too vivid(as if i am there).i don't mentally process my memoreis any more if you know what I mean. do you think this is because of ptsd,
also did it took you time to stop worring when you feel alright?
do you think that it is a good sign that our memories come back, is there any hope?

to everyone
does anyone find it difficult to mentally process their memories and do you know what I mean?[/i]

 

[Guest]

Martinelv

I notice you, too, as from the UK. Is this because there is more awareness there? I understand Kings College London is doing good work. All my family except my sisters and I are in and around London. If only I could get my daughter on a plane!

Also, I see you are a Moderator and have been active on the site for over a year. I know getting a good diagnosis at 13 (such a young age) is good but worry because 13 is such an awfully difficult age, even without this extra load. I believe my daughter was developed DP/DR (she's very strongly DR) as a young child but it was reactivated -- if that makes sense -- when she smoked pot the first time. She had a dreadful, terrifying reaction and hasn't been the same since. Is it usual for the two to go together, do you know?

Just looking for some wisdom...

eclecticsheep

I'm not sure I feel qualified to give advice on the topic at all, but in the absence of being able to cure my daughter myself, my wish would be that she would tell me what she needs. She has gotton better a little better at this.

Her anxiety and DR get dramatically worse as the day goes on. She uses all her energy trying to get through school or as much school as she can manage. She is DR 24/7 so trying to determine what is real and what is not is exhausting. She used to lash out if I said ANYTHING to her. She has learned to tell me if she needs me to go into another room for a while or to stop talking because she can no longer process any information.

Sounds strange but it comforts me to know there is some small way I can make her more comfortable and that she can tell me about it. I wish she would tell me what would help keep her distracted. So if you can, tell your parents as much as you can, even if you have to write it down.

 

[ShyTiger]

Martinelv you got me thinking. To me i think that my dp comes out when im trying hard to suppress those parts of myself that are hiding and hurt from the trauma. Its when i acknowledge and then work with those parts that my dp goes.
Sheep and G if it helps i have had dp since 4 from abuse. There were times where like your daugter i could not at a stage even speak about it. Sometimes still cant. Healing takes time, and has its process. I went through stages where i had to talk had to tell, had to work on healing, and i had times where i couldnt even stand to think of that part of my life. Just needed to do normal stuff like a normal person. While im relunctant to use the word cured, i feel that i am no longer controlled by dp. I believe that dp will always be one of the ways my mind and body expresses its discomfort, but now i have enough knowledge to know what i have to do when that occures. It is not something that scares or even worries me, is just dp. It occures rarely now. When it does it is only at a very mild level. So i believe (because i have experienced) that healing of dp is very possible, as is healing from abuse and long term abuse. Whats more is that i feel that you end up living a more authentic and awakened life because of the learning it facilitates. Dont give up hope of finding your way out.

 

[Guest]

SHYTIGER

What about meds? I look at what everyone is taking and it's all so different! My daughter takes Seroquel (anti-psychotic), Clonodine, Buspar, and Ativan (anti-anxiety) and next they want to add an SSRI (anti-depressant). She had a bad reaction to Zoloft and I'm afraid it's all just too much! She likes or at least used to like the Seroquel - much better than Risperdol or any of the others - but with this relapse I simply don't know what the right answers are (

I have to say to hear you sounding so positive does lift my spirits. I want hope but not false hope. Each time she's seemed better I get deliriously happy and then when she has a relapse I feel crushed for her. I guess a realistic balance is best. Just have to work on it.

 

[ShyTiger]

Sheep sorry i posted before i saw your reply.
It did take me a while to adjust to feeling alright. I do think its a good thing when memories come back. When someone first told me that i wanted to smack them clear across the room, but i found it to be very important for healing. It not only allows that part of yourself to intergrate that part back into yourself but it i think allows the body to release held or frozen emotion. Hard to explain.
I do understand what you mean by images with no feelings or too vivid feelings. i do think it has to do with ptsd and how our mind remembers stressfull and traumatic events. Its like giving us a bit of the puzzle at a time. And as i said in above post there is definatly hope

 

[Martinelv]

I not sure why there are a lot of British DP/DR people. It's one of two things I reckon - us Brits are either especially neurotic or it's just that we speak English and therefore can go on sites like this. The vast majority of people here are either Americans, Brits, Canadians, Ozzies or Kiwis, so I guess the latter makes sense. I've no idea how many sites there are in other languages devoted to DR/DP.

Please don't think that because I'm a moderator and have been here for a long time that anything I say is the gosepl truth. As the regulars know all too well, I'm really rather confused about the whole DR/DP business and can't offer much advice other than 'keep your chin up'.

 

[ShyTiger]

Hey G.
I dont know much about meds as i have never taken them. From what i understand its an individual thing. What works for one may not for another so unfortunatly it seems to be a trail and error thing.
In reguards to hope and recovery. It must be very hard to watch your daughter go through what can be a very painfull and distressing process. My recovery i found to be very cyclic. I would have a breakthrough only to have something else come up that i would have to work through. I still do have issues that i am working through but with each breakthrough i find there is more knowledge and understanding that hopefully helps with future issues. I am still very up and down at times but what gets me through is hope. I dont think its false hope. Because i see it with my recovery and i see it in many others who have had traums too, they thought there was no way out but despite it they and myself continue to heal. Plaese make sure to take care of yourself too as well as caring for your daughter as you do. I wish you strength and send you lots of positive thoughts.

 

[Milan]

G-mom definitely stands for Great Mother. It must break your heart to see your daughter going through this hell. It's fantastic to see how much love your giving her. I applaud you. I would hate to see a child of mine go through this hell.

Gosh! That's a lot of meds that your daughter is taking. I have noticed a lot of the Americans on this board are taking multiple meds. My shrink did mention that it is a common practise in the states. In Australia we normally take one or possibly two at a time. I'd think any normal person taking a similar amount of psych drugs would feel some form of DR. And she's only 13! I really have no advice but I know if I had a doc giving my child copious amounts of meds I'd be worried. Have you thought of trying a different psych for a second opinion?

Stay strong and keep giving her your love.

 

[Luka]

There is a difference between repressed and dissociated memories. The repressing of the memory is done consciously and after the traumatic event took place. Dissociation is done unconsciously and takes place during the event. It seems to me you're talking about dissociated memories. Dissociation can take place on different kinds of levels. For instance, you can dissociate your overwhelming feelings at the time of the traumatic event or the sounds or smell or everything all together. It's very complex.

is anyone here suffering from repressed memories.
and how do you feel about it? i have mine and when thay come they come all together and it makes me scared. but when my memories do come back is when i feel myself and completely cured. also anyone else sufferes from ptsd and is this case of dp curable?

I suffered from dissociated memories coming back 5 years ago. It was as if I was drowning, like a flood! It was simply overwhelming. I was in therapy back then and I have drawn and written alot about those horrific memories. After a couple of years it started to slowly fade away. I still had triggers at that time (things which remembered me of the trauma's) which could send me off flying (literally)! At this time the triggers have lost their force mostly. So it did got better over the years (with the help of anti-depressants which I still use). The DP/DR also got better. It is still there, but you'll learn to cope with them. And you'll give your traumatic memories a place. Accept it, let it come, cope, give it a place and work on a brighter future.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter, G-Mom I know it is frustrating not be able to help and cure her, but you are there for her and that is so important! Never forget that.

 

[orangeaid]

I honestly feel that I am not as bad as my mind makes it out to be. I think what is happening is my mind is blowing my experiences out of purportions.

Like I think I have created phobias of just daily routine of life as scary as that is, just walking around looking at things my mind automaticaly says aaahhh what if I start feeling off or something and i throw myself into a downward circle.