[coolwhip27]

I’m unhappy, I suffer for no reason. And the fact that I perceive that I am suffering just makes me suffer more. I don’t know what living means, as soon as I make a move I’ve made the wrong decision. I am in a constant battle internally, with disassociation and my whole existence at large. I’m self pitying, depressed, anxious, empty, confused about it and do nothing at all.

If i see that there is no choice I can make to be happy again, what do I do? If no thought or action can fix all my confusion, stress, anxiety, frustration, and all the emptiness I carry around, what can i do? Because as soon as i make an attempt or exert my energy, it’s not good enough. If i look at that fact with intensity, is the reality of it clear? Only choicelessly can I be free, living effortlessly, not with a million choices or thoughts in front of me and having to pick one. If you see what that implies, it’s possible to live without suffering like this

 

[Findingtheway]

I remember when I was in the same place…time seemed to stand still …almost like it was purposely exaggerating the misery…now lookin back I dread how much time I spent in that place…not sure any of us have a choice but to trudge through it…I remember feeling like my time was up..the harder I fought the deeper i sank…but we all have a future with positive things that we can’t foresee…the moment we give up is when we find something to be grateful for…I have a great life now after years of agony but I still fight to stay level everyday….we all have to make new memories to fill the void of our past traumas.

 

[Velvet_Angel]

I completely understand. I have very severe OCD surrounding my own existence, the existence of my family, the outside world, my friends, I’m extremely numb to my surroundings. I took a bath but it feels like it never happened, and everytime I try to retrieve memory of it, my ocd latches and says “what if that never happened?” It only perpetuates the DPDR so much so I am bound to my bedroom some days. My ability to think has drastically fallen, I feel so numb and awful, I feel terrible. My mind will try to convince me that the objects I see around me aren’t there, or that my brain is so damaged the objects I see aren’t the “real” objects they are (what if the bed I see isn’t a bed)

 

[Findingtheway]

I completely understand. I have very severe OCD surrounding my own existence, the existence of my family, the outside world, my friends, I’m extremely numb to my surroundings. I took a bath but it feels like it never happened, and everytime I try to retrieve memory of it, my ocd latches and says “what if that never happened?” It only perpetuates the DPDR so much so I am bound to my bedroom some days. My ability to think has drastically fallen, I feel so numb and awful, I feel terrible. My mind will try to convince me that the objects I see around me aren’t there, or that my brain is so damaged the objects I see aren’t the “real” objects they are (what if the bed I see isn’t a bed)

My ocd was self harm…there was no escape..if I did something to one part of my body I’d have to do it to the other…ocd always finds something else to cling to….but I promise it is not forever…your body and mind cannot keep this goin forever…my processes slowed down after years of chronic stress.

 

[Findingtheway]

We all need our fight back…whatever that means to you all…do it…and if u feel your body is not helping you fight..find out why..the common theme amongst us all is emotional suppression…honestly crying is the best thing U can do to ground urself if u are helpless.