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On Monday I had one of the best days I've had in a long time. I felt real, alive, I was out all day and while I was driving a friend home in the evening I felt the most real, the most normal I had in a long time.
On Tuesday I had one of the worst days I've had in a long time. I felt unreal, detatched, I woke up at 4pm and felt tired and just generally terrible all day long. It's not Wednesday, (or actually, Thursday, but I never see the day as a new day until I've slept) and I've been feeling weird all day.

I don't necessarily feel unreal and neither do my surroundings. But I kind of do. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing in this world, lost, like I'm in limbo between multiple worlds or dimensions, yet I know I'm here and feel everything normally. It's as if I'm drifting off, slowly, into oblivion. Is this normal? Does this happen with DP? All I know is that I'm scared. I'm really scared. I just want to live a normal life again, is that too much to ask for? Am I going crazy? Can my brain just turn itself off while my body is still working?

I could be sitting on the couch, not thinking about anything in particular and then I'll just look around and I'll ask myself "What is this world? Who am I? What is my purpose? What is this body?", and I'll feel really scared. I know who I am, I know where I am and what I'm doing even though I'm asking myself those questions. I know I'm real, everything is real, but I'm scared that it isn't.

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Sep 29 2014 07:53 AM

(I'm sorry no one replied to your topic, sometimes blogs go unnoticed, unfortunately.)

I know I'm a bit late to comment, so I hope that you're doing better with all of this. I've experienced this too and am actually experiencing this now. I'm in a position of "I have enough sleep to function, but not enough to feel really energetic" - that type of sleep is the worst for me, as it triggers the same thing you've felt here. I feel somewhat unreal, but not enough for me to be completely obsessive about it - that queues the thoughts of my life, my existence, what I'm meant to do in this world. Here's the thing, though: we're not going crazy.

We're just obsessive. We're trying to think ourselves out of a fear, without regards for the fact that this "fear" never has a concrete answer. We just have to continue to tell ourselves that our fears are just obsessions and that, even though there's no true answer, we can't continue to dwell on these thoughts. It takes time to get this done, and distractions help a lot. I play video games, and I'm sure you have things that make you feel distracted too.

If we can distract and focus on recovery, then sure enough, we'll end up with a happier mind in the end. I hope this helped, I know I'm not the best at giving advice. Cheers.
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