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Im on the edge.

958 Views 8 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  sebastian
Ok so the day started off well, i went to the gym, helped my friend work on his car. Then i came home and i got in a fight with my brother over nothing, we started going at it, fist to fist, i got a couple hits to his head knocked him down to his feet, he looked disoriented then he kicked me in the stomach and kept puching me in the head, then i put him in a choke hold. When i get violent i really get violent then my mom pops up out of nowhere and keeps me from beating his ass down. I get pissed off and i break a door go fucking crazy, my brother starts to get scared and runs, i seriously wanted to kill him. I started just to go into tears with anger, just fucking went all out. Broke alot of his stuff. Then my mom freaked again i called her a shitload of names, she said go kill yourself noone likes you, your just like your fucking father! So i was like fuck you whore, and i jumped in my car with my emotion running high hit the road and i kept going at high speeds at about 130 mph almost lost control a couple of times, i didnt realise how fast i was going until i actually looked around and everythin was zoomin by me, Then a cop pulls me over thankfully i was only going 60 in a 35 at the time, i got 200 dollar ticket. I get pissed keep speeding, i just hoped i would crash and die. After about an hour of driving and thinking i just gave up went home and my mom just kept bitching, I think ive had enough of all this shit, I just want to die right now and not feel anything, just disappear from existence. I wish i was never born. I am sooo depressed right now, i dont want to do anything, i dont want to fight this crappy disorder, i dont want to go to school, i dont want anything, I feel sooo bad right now, Super DR vision, I feel like im stuck in a video game.
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Me too. :wink: Not quite sure what else to say. Are you seeing a psychiatrist these days? When I feel like shit, I write a 'plan of action'. Get out a pen and paper and write down what you should do next in order to help yourself. It's up to you.
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