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I can't help but wonder why I'm human. Why am I in a physical form? What was I created for? Why am I not a spirit floating through time and space? What happens when I die? Is life on Earth just a game?

I feel like I lost all connection to humanity. I don't understand the point of existing and surviving. Why do humans want to exist? Why do we cooperate and feel empathy for each other? Why do we even care? Why act civilized ? Instead of just behaving like violent mindless beasts and just destroy each other. What is the point of things like love and happiness? Why do we get love and happiness just by existing? These questions fill my head 24/7 with no end in sight. I do nothing but sit and think all the time about these questions. I use to believe in a point of existing and morality. I considered myself a humanist. Not I see no point in interacting with others and life. I keep questioning everything about humans and why they act. I feel like an psychopath or alien observing animal behavior or something. I don't know if it is the DP just tricking me or something to think like this but I hate it and wish I could take the blue pill.

I feel like a monster.
 

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I can relate somewhat . I have similar thoughts

the best you can do is to just develop trust . there is a reason why those humanly attributes exist . I personally believe (I actually dont "believe" because for me it is a fact) in god and think that the humanly thoughts and emotions we have comes from him

try to not think too much about it and just try to live along with those "norms" . there is no point in questioning everything to a point where you get ill from it . I know it is hard to stop those thoughts but just think that everything will be ok and that things are how they are for a good reason and try to bother with other things to distract yourself

part of the reason why you feel this way is that DP/DR makes our emotions dull and anxiety higher . what helps me a bit is to remember times where I for example saw little children and puppies/dogs and found them cute and precious , where I felt sorry for a person , when I had moments of big love for my family and friends . dont forget we are still those people who have been through these emotions . we didnt change . we are just suffering from mental problems
 
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