Yes, it´s dp/dr. Maybe more dr than dp, since you mentioned you very rarely feel like you're not in your body.
You seem pretty new to this even though you've experienced it before, so I'll try to explain further:
DP - involves the loss of connetion to yourself
DR - involves the loss of connection to your surroundings
Even though I can't tell for sure exactly where every symptom belongs but:
Feeling like you're not really there, like you're dreaming, everything feels like it takes place in your imagination, not being able to connect to anything around you. = Derealization
Feeling like you're not in your body, or that your soul is in limbo = Depersonalization
I think the emotional numbing/loss of emotions is common with both dp and dr. Same goes for existential thinking, obsessive thinking, nothing matters, distorted perception of time and feeling like things didn't happen.
Common symptoms with both dp/dr:
Loss of sense of self (no soul, no identity, lack of personality, you don't know who you are etc.)
Feeling disconnected from your own voice (you don't feel like your voice belongs to you, it feels distant to you, like you're not the one talking)
Disconnected from your own reflection (you know it's you, but something feels 'off', or like looking at a stranger)
Emotionally numb (still able to laugh, maybe even cry, but there's no emotions behind it so doing those things feel fake to you, or they feel very numb. Not able to feel happiness, joy, love, anger. Lack of taste, touch, smell.)
Everything feels unreal (feeling like you're not really there, everything feels as if it's taking place in your imagination etc.)
Perception of time is distorted (Recent events feel like they happened a long time ago, events taking place in the past can feel like they happened recently. Not sure if this belongs under this category but, things feel like they never happened or like it was just a dream)
Existential thinking (often get obsessive about existential thoughts. You feel like there is a need to question these things in order to make you understand things cause your whole perception of life, death and everything between it has changed.)
Blurry vision (Things appear blurry, foggy or 'not clear', like you can't really see what's in front of you or can't sense your surroundings. Visual snow is common)
Complete loss of interest in everything (It's hard to feel any interest in things when you can't really connect to them physically and emotionally)
Feeling like your not inside your body (You don't feel like you're the one controlling your body, it seems foreign to you and that you're somewhere above it. Your body parts don't feel like they belong to you, might lead to self-harm)
Hyper awareness (You're too aware of yourself and the things you're doing, the way you talk, move, laugh etc.)
There's a lot more to it (some people get short term memory, blank mind and other cognitive problems), the list got so long that I started forgetting which ones I already wrote down.
But that pretty much included the essence of dp/dr.
Yes, you can get better. In your case it seems you need to deal with the loss of that person who passed away and lower your anxiety and OCD. Easier said than done, but anxiety is usually the cause of a lot of peoples dp/dr (including mine) to put it simply.
And yes, most of the users here have dp/dr constantly with no relief, and it is a living hell to suffer from full blown dp/dr, so you're definitely not alone.
You seem pretty new to this even though you've experienced it before, so I'll try to explain further:
DP - involves the loss of connetion to yourself
DR - involves the loss of connection to your surroundings
Even though I can't tell for sure exactly where every symptom belongs but:
Feeling like you're not really there, like you're dreaming, everything feels like it takes place in your imagination, not being able to connect to anything around you. = Derealization
Feeling like you're not in your body, or that your soul is in limbo = Depersonalization
I think the emotional numbing/loss of emotions is common with both dp and dr. Same goes for existential thinking, obsessive thinking, nothing matters, distorted perception of time and feeling like things didn't happen.
Common symptoms with both dp/dr:
Loss of sense of self (no soul, no identity, lack of personality, you don't know who you are etc.)
Feeling disconnected from your own voice (you don't feel like your voice belongs to you, it feels distant to you, like you're not the one talking)
Disconnected from your own reflection (you know it's you, but something feels 'off', or like looking at a stranger)
Emotionally numb (still able to laugh, maybe even cry, but there's no emotions behind it so doing those things feel fake to you, or they feel very numb. Not able to feel happiness, joy, love, anger. Lack of taste, touch, smell.)
Everything feels unreal (feeling like you're not really there, everything feels as if it's taking place in your imagination etc.)
Perception of time is distorted (Recent events feel like they happened a long time ago, events taking place in the past can feel like they happened recently. Not sure if this belongs under this category but, things feel like they never happened or like it was just a dream)
Existential thinking (often get obsessive about existential thoughts. You feel like there is a need to question these things in order to make you understand things cause your whole perception of life, death and everything between it has changed.)
Blurry vision (Things appear blurry, foggy or 'not clear', like you can't really see what's in front of you or can't sense your surroundings. Visual snow is common)
Complete loss of interest in everything (It's hard to feel any interest in things when you can't really connect to them physically and emotionally)
Feeling like your not inside your body (You don't feel like you're the one controlling your body, it seems foreign to you and that you're somewhere above it. Your body parts don't feel like they belong to you, might lead to self-harm)
Hyper awareness (You're too aware of yourself and the things you're doing, the way you talk, move, laugh etc.)
There's a lot more to it (some people get short term memory, blank mind and other cognitive problems), the list got so long that I started forgetting which ones I already wrote down.
But that pretty much included the essence of dp/dr.
Yes, you can get better. In your case it seems you need to deal with the loss of that person who passed away and lower your anxiety and OCD. Easier said than done, but anxiety is usually the cause of a lot of peoples dp/dr (including mine) to put it simply.
And yes, most of the users here have dp/dr constantly with no relief, and it is a living hell to suffer from full blown dp/dr, so you're definitely not alone.
