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I'm already dead and this is Hell.

13844 Views 10 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  Iamlivinginhell
Title speaks for itself.

First time I got my panic attack i had some instant realization that i've been in hell all this time and that, this is what it looks like. Not the figurative bullshit people refer to when they don't really mean it. I think I'm genuinely in christian hell or whatever. maybe i'm not supposed to remember who i was before i was born in this. i only really feel the torture when i put my mind to the possibility. maybe the torture is the truth that we can never be sure if the world has left us? I remember one night when I had an episode, although I contain myself really well and people barely ever notice when I'm freaking out, I was entering an elevator with two other people and one of them turned and looked at me and I couldn't make out what he said. It was all distorted and didn't sound human, he said "welcome to hell". so thats that.
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Your not in hell at all. DP is a very tormenting disorder. When I had it 24/7 it did feel like this is what hell must be like. But the truth is that horrible feeling can lift. The crazy feelings I had are now gone, just have a little dr which is ok. Like any illness mental or physical it will not get better if you don't do something about. So justifying the horrible feelings is really you just prolonging this horrific illness. And trust me I know, I use to do it too.
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I accepted it, distracted myself,tried to engage back in normal life.I tried my best to stop complaining about how I felt which was the hardest thing I have done. but I kept at it and the dp is know gone. It may sound easy and simple but it was hard as hell, doing all those things while feeling dp/dr. That's why most people don't do it this way, cause you have to keep doing it until the dp decides to leave. When the brain fog left, I was then able to tackle more clearly what caused my dp and other related issues. I know that once I finish tackling those my dr will fade totally, but its ok though cause my dr is little.
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