Title speaks for itself.
First time I got my panic attack i had some instant realization that i've been in hell all this time and that, this is what it looks like. Not the figurative bullshit people refer to when they don't really mean it. I think I'm genuinely in christian hell or whatever. maybe i'm not supposed to remember who i was before i was born in this. i only really feel the torture when i put my mind to the possibility. maybe the torture is the truth that we can never be sure if the world has left us? I remember one night when I had an episode, although I contain myself really well and people barely ever notice when I'm freaking out, I was entering an elevator with two other people and one of them turned and looked at me and I couldn't make out what he said. It was all distorted and didn't sound human, he said "welcome to hell". so thats that.