My parents are paying for me to see all these doctors and I still feel awful and part of me wants to pretend to be fine so they don't have to do this anymore. I just turned 18 and I'm supposed to be driving and getting a job and learning to take care of myself but instead I spend all day in my bedroom sleeping or crying or panicking. I still go to school and try to get out of the house when I can, but my DP/DR is just not letting up. I've had it for about a year, and it hasn't given me a break. I'm taking 50mg Sertraline, and while it stops me from having panic attacks and gives me the ability to function, all it's doing is suppressing my anxiety. I haven't found a doctor who I feel I can trust yet, and I'm sick of watching my parents suffer and have to pay bills and take care of my pathetic self. All I want is to feel alive again, to be healthy and living. I don't care about the petty things I used to like what people think of me or how I look. I just miss my life and feeling connected to the world and having emotions. I want to be a good person and help people and have a good time just living and learning new things. I have sympathy for everyone who is suffering with this, especially those with little to no support. Hopefully DP/DR will become a more publicized issue and more research will be conducted as to what causes this and how to cure it. Because it's two in the morning here and I feel so hopeless and alone. This is no way to live....
I'm a mess
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I've been really bad for a few months (I'm five months into DP/DR) but I started taking supplements, I started eating a strict diet, made some life changes, and went to therapy several times. I am so close to recovery and I see improvements every day. You CAN do it.
It is nice to hear of people improving in a noticeable way and I'd love to hear your recovery story as soon as you're out. 
I'm going to try dieting and have already begun supplementing; it's just difficult given financial circumstances.
I'm going to try dieting and have already begun supplementing; it's just difficult given financial circumstances.
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1,385 Posts
@bfaye
Try not to feel guilty about your medical bills. You are young, and it is a worthwhile and necessary investment. My problems with DP also began when I was a minor. I regret that I was unable to make a direct connection with medical authorities, because they were content to communicate with my parents about my condition. My parents were not forthright with me. I went without answers for many years.. I guess my point is that you should seek to obtain as much information as you can from medical authorities. Do it for yourself.
Try not to feel guilty about your medical bills. You are young, and it is a worthwhile and necessary investment. My problems with DP also began when I was a minor. I regret that I was unable to make a direct connection with medical authorities, because they were content to communicate with my parents about my condition. My parents were not forthright with me. I went without answers for many years.. I guess my point is that you should seek to obtain as much information as you can from medical authorities. Do it for yourself.
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