[retrobot]

uhm, so I had enough and am deciding to live with this I have accepted this as my reality, I believe there are somethings we can change and we can't.
I am not going to fight a battle I can't win, I surrender to DP/DR, OCD and all of it. Today I just let go and decided to function and it was terrible, but in the end I lived and somewhat enjoyed it although it felt horrible.

some things in life make us bitter or better, I really hope I recover from this or at least become desensitised to it so I can be a part of society one day. I don't care about the old me anymore or what life I had prior, it's gone.

cya!

WF.

 

[Phantasm]

One thing I learned the hard way over-and-over is that you can't think your way out of this. Obsession and over-thinking most likely is its' food.

I'm just trying to let myself merge together in a big vague blur. This is called "Felt Sense." I read about it years ago but was still too obsessed to use it.

 

[leminaseri]

One thing I learned the hard way over-and-over is that you can't think your way out of this. Obsession and over-thinking most likely is its' food.

I'm just trying to let myself merge together in a big vague blur. This is called "Felt Sense." I read about it years ago but was still too obsessed to use it.

i think most people do misunderstand the difference between ignoring and truly ignoring. like you did breakup with your ex girlfriend but still love her. then you dont talk or text to her but stalk her social media or hope for a message from her everyday before going to sleep.

ignoring is something i did in my first episode of dpdr. but it did work very well because i simply could enjoy my life and my friends. could fall in love and had have real interest in activities. i could feel music and cry or become emotional with a movie. all of those is not there anymore. its like my ego died

 

[Phantasm]

That's a good metaphor for what we do!

 

[retrobot]

i think most people do misunderstand the difference between ignoring and truly ignoring. like you did breakup with your ex girlfriend but still love her. then you dont talk or text to her but stalk her social media or hope for a message from her everyday before going to sleep.

this has always been me, after a breakup I could honestly not give two shits about anything except visiting love forums, reading other peoples break ups, to compensate my loss. The stalking, even the notification sound of my phone would send me into memories. I honestly think OCD just plays a major role, emotions are not in tac because we do not have time for them that's why.

I really regret coming back to this site, everything I have read has now become ammunition for my OCD.

I feel as though I am going through an episode of existential OCD > every time I do an action it's always followed by a thought of existence > heck I just woke up and took my vitamins as I was taking it I remembered a member on here mentioning that specific vitamin > in terms of not enjoying music, life, food etc I honestly think the obsessions are so overwhelming that we do not pay attention to what we are actually doing, we have literally put our interests, hobbies on hold because "something is wrong" this really adds up.... I am trying to be present in my life again, I know it will be hard and a long journey but we deserve to be happy again!

WF.

 

[mkeshish]

uhm, so I had enough and am deciding to live with this I have accepted this as my reality, I believe there are somethings we can change and we can't.
I am not going to fight a battle I can't win, I surrender to DP/DR, OCD and all of it. Today I just let go and decided to function and it was terrible, but in the end I lived and somewhat enjoyed it although it felt horrible.

some things in life make us bitter or better, I really hope I recover from this or at least become desensitised to it so I can be a part of society one day. I don't care about the old me anymore or what life I had prior, it's gone.

cya!

WF.

Absolutely love it!! When I get into that mindset I realize whatever. I’m going to live even thru moments of discomfort. I think it also makes the whole thing feel less threatening by doing this. Good for you!!!!