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Hi everyone,

I am sorry I have been gone for a while. I gave a background on my DR and experience on another entry months ago if you want to read it. I have to say this year is the worst but somehow I am still pushing through. I still have constant DR and I still take on the responsibility of taking care of my 80 year old grandma and I am unemployed with no money living with my mom at 21 years old. I lost two friends this year. I been losing my boyfriend on and off for 4 years now. Every time I go to a doctor appointment I leave crying. Whenever I get tests done and they come back normal I cry because I just want answers and begin to fix this so I can have a life. I spent my 21st birthday in Vegas but I wasn't really there. The most enjoyable places on this earth that I love I never experience them anymore because I am no longer here. I am not trying to be negative but I am opening up to you guys and being honest to myself that this has been the worst thing for me to go through. I can say this...

When we defeat these painful times, and wake up from the nightmare and realized we were here on earth all along, we will have been through all this and wake up the strongest soldiers this earth has seen. OR

Those who are vitamin deficient, or induced by something, God is going to get us through this. One day we will find "oh wow it was as simple as this" What I realized is nothing MAJOR encouraged this sickness. It isn't permanent. It is hard to face for the moment but us in general as sufferers we must face it in that mind set.I lost my grandma this year ( my father's mother) and it was hard but sad because I been emotionally numb and many can connect to that. I thought that would wake me up and realize,"dude, you really lost your first grandparent" I just talked to her not too long ago and she's gone. But we feel so numb that we don't even realize the reality around us.
What hurts is...when I finally do wake up from this nightmare, I will realize the people who are no longer in my life. I will realize how old I am, how much has changed. How will I accept everything.My other grandma has cancer and I been taking care of her this whole time. But did it register in my mind that she actually has been sick? Don't give up though. I haven't. And if you need someone to talk to please email me tell me your story. Everyone will feel better by telling your tragedies and realizing other people are going through stuff too!!
Tell me your story, or just talk to me you are not alone. Thank you for taking the time to read this and God bless you all. You are all probably too intelligent for your own good lol that's how most of us probably got like this <3

My personal email: [email protected]
You can refer me as Demi or Demitri <3


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Alicia800p
Jul 23 2016 03:42 AM

Everything is going to be okay. I used to suffer from this when I was really young due to the absolute most stressful childhood ever. Then I moved and started to make better changes. I had a bad experience due to my mother dying about 4 years ago and now find myself with it again. I know it's possible to find peace and get back to that place again. Just want you to know that it's possible to make these changes. I literally used to be the most depressed and probably the dumbest most absent minded person I used to know and now am in an Ivy League graduate degree program, am very creative and am doing a lot of things like working with some of the smartest people on the planet. I do suffer from anxiety when I have to speak in public sometimes. The only problem is handling this again since I just learned about it and let it just happen. Change is possible. We can make positive changes if we are willing to accept our reality. Stoicism has helped. It's interesting to see myself cure this again the 2 nyd time around. Don't' freak out about it. You are so young and have the chance to really turn things around. People will appear to be less motivated than you eventually. You're strength from this will make you more resilient and eventually you'll be happier. I'm excited for you in your journey. Remember to exercise, organize, keep, socialize And surround yourself with only positive people. Trust your intuition- it's the only thing that has helped me thus far. From one female to another, you're going to be okay!!!!


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yourstruly_demi
Jul 25 2016 01:29 AM

I am really sorry about your mother:( and I am really happy for your success in life and passing through this before!

I been dealing with this for a while and I can't see how I am still sick from all I have done.I played basketball since I was 8 I am so athletic I always work out even if I don't feel good.I always had people involved in my life I never departed from society. I had problems in life but I prayed on them or played basketball or dance. I have been sick before all this happened and i truly think something induced my DR rather than just stress,trauma, or anxiety.Right now I will be working to change my diet and take prebiotics, probiotics, and digestive enzyme syrup and see if there was a connection with my food. I am always bloated and cramping after I eat and dizzy when I thought it was due to severe period cramps.
 
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