[jc]

how do we replace this...i can replace negative thoughts but i cannot replace the way i feel .... yes yes yes i know this has been asked a million times before but i really want to break this cycle and it annoys me that im intelligent enough to know 'what to do' but when i do it for no matter how long it still persists

 

[Sojourner]

You are growing up. Funny feelings come -- and with a little cooperation from us, they go.

Only you can help yourself.

Say to yourself, "I am the only person who can affect the way I feel. I am going to have faith that this funny feeling is going to pass. I am going to have faith that what people tell me is true. I am going to have faith that I need to treat myself like a two-year-old, because until I can make a habit of ignoring "problem" thoughts, I have to treat myself just like I treat a baby."

Say it until the funny thoughts stop bothering you.

Nobody can offer you anything more than this.

 

[jc]

thankyou good advice :wink:

 

[Sojourner]

A little harsh, but hey, that's the old Soj. 8)

I'm rootin' for 'ya!!!!!!!!!

 

[jc]

i didnt think it was harsh at all....you seem to know what im getting at

feeling of unreality,thought or feeling ?

change the thought will the feeling go away ?

 

[Sojourner]

Absent psychoanalytical therapy, in which you get at the feelings themselves, yes -- and that's the basis of CBT: change the behavior and the feeling changes, where "behavior" and "thought" are identical. That is, you think, "I will do X," you then do X, and your feeling changes because of the effect on your body and mind of doing X.

But while this can work to get you out of a bad spot, I don't think it helps "cure" the thing. It's a kind of trick, just like distracting the toddler is a trick. The toddler is honestly and truly upset, but he or she hasn't the language skills to explain to you why that is so; in order to not spend the entire day struggling with the poor darlin', you distract him or her only because of the lack of language skills for expressing what she or he is feeling. It doesn't do anything but make the moment more pleasant for all parties involved. Same with you and me: it's no solution long-term.

Getting at the unconscious motivations are the solution long-term.

Note: This is my opinion only, based on what I have come to understand about both therapies by my personal experience and my reading.

 

[Martinelv]

For once, I slightly agree with our favourite Mar roving vehicle...only slightly of course.

JC - you're talking about two different things. Your conscious thoughts and your 'feeling' of DP, are entirely different things. Well, almost. As Sojourner rightly says, your unconscious anxiety or trauma, or whatever it is, is the one that is providing you with the distressing symptoms of DR/DP. Consciously thinking about it, as you know, only makes things worse. Without wanting to state the obvious, you need to get to the root of your problems. In some people, this root is buried so deeply that it takes ages to get at, and longer to treat, but with others it may take some simple realisation.

Unconscious motivation, as Sojourner puts it, seems to be a powerful force, which manifests itself in bizarre and unlikely ways. Even if we think we know 'why' we are feeling like we do, simply describing it doesn't always explain it.