[Matt210]

Sorry to quote a Linkin Park song, but I just had another terrible night. For the second night in a row, I had my weird sleep thing, that I have described before to you. Some people had also had this experience, but very few. But basically I wake up, but im still asleep and I sit up in my bed and act psycotic.. dreaming with my eyes open.

In the morning I always have some recollection of both what I could see in reality, and what I was seeing in my dream.

Anyways, the last two nights it has been weirder. My dream has been related to my fear of losing my memories. I dream that I know NOTHING about my past, that I am just lost in the present.. and then I start making things up (like most dreams) .. I dream things that are untrue.. THEN the worst part.. i sort of snap out of it.. not quite tho.. and I feel like the dream is MORE real than my life. I feel like im just SO close to forgetting everything about my past, and letting the dream take over.

Then I diagnose myself with schizophrenia.. thinking im creating untrue delusions and made up realities in my head. It's BIZARRE.

Now I wake up, and im freaking out.. I feel crippled with DP/DR. Everything is so dream like.. I can barely focus on anything going on in the exterior. All my memories and past don't really feel like they happened to me.. and I feel like im about to just forget them.

I'm having a minor panic attack here.. just looking for comfort. I guess I dont really expect anyone to tell me they can relate to this.. i'll prolly be all alone on this bizarre symptom *sigh*. Thoughts/Opinions on how messed I am.

 

[Matt210]

I know, it's just so hard to convince yourself of that you know? I used to watch movies and get so into it that I felt like the movie was more my life then my own.. it was like I forgot my own life completely.

This is the same thing, with my delusional dreams taking over and feeling more real. It still gets me though. Ive calmed down a little.. I still feel COMPLETELY spaced out though.

 

[Martinelv]

Hey Matt. What you are describing is called 'Sleep Paralysis with Hypnogotic Hallucinations'. It is very common and, while scarey, not an indication of impending madness or anything else. I've experienced it since I was a kid. Haven't got time to write more now, back have a look back through the forum for a post entitled Sleep Paralysis....I wrote a book in reply to that !

 

[g-funk]

I too experience it. They are called night terrors in children, had that too. I also posted a thread called Night Terrors I think, have a look back for it.
Runs in my family, and seems to be worse for dp'ers. My med makes me sleep A LOT and in the morning I can dream for hours, drifting in and out and when I wake my dreams are very fresh in my mind. I just concentrate on throwing myself back into the real world. Don't dwell on it, you are not going mad! :wink: