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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know that I've been posting like crazy and am redundant but I am really losing it here.

I feel like I'm in a movie. I'm afraid of looking even at my own parents since they look so odd, distorted, like they stepped out of a film. This morning, I felt like I was blending into other people... like my friend speaking was really me speaking (I know, it's crazy).

Over the past 3 months I've been through every imaginable symptom. Maybe I really have psychosis and not anxiety/DP/DR. To be honest, a mental hospital does not sound so bad at the moment. Anything is better than being afraid of everything... of waking up, of going to bed, of what you're thinking, of what you're seeing.

I thought that I was on a way to recovery but I think that I'm spiralling down faster than ever.

I have no desire to try anything anymore. Nothing seems to help.
 
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Ok Tidal,

Talk to Janine a bit, she will help you. :)
Are you on meds or nothing?

Anyway, if you don't see any doctor, you could see one, just to check how to ease your ANXIETY symptoms. It's not that bad. I know how terrible you must feel.

Talk to your family about your ANXIETY, and maybe they can help you go see someone.

I am not a good judge, but maybe if you don't see any doctor you should go just to reassure yourself and find ways to cope.

Thinking of you,

Cynthia xxx
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well I went to a psychologist who told me it's "just anxiety" and that it will all go away if I accept every symptom and do things that make me happy.
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
CYNTHIA has some nerve, lol....here she is, unconsolable and I try and try to get through to her and then she tells YOU when you're ready to check into a mental hospital to talk to Janine and she will help you!!

LOLOLOL

I love both you guys. Both of you, obsessional anxious wrecks, remind me so much of myself in years gone by.

Anxiety + obsessive/magical thinking can make you feel crazier than if you WERE crazy. However, neither of you are now, nor will you ever be, crazy.

Love,
J
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
No, that is NOT what I've said! I just said : if you are anxious, go see a doctor, not check into a hospital!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just to see a normal doc, and tell you you are anxious, then he will help you MAYBE to cope with anxiety.

Just wanted to help!!!

Cynthia xxx
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Nooo....no, you misunderstood me.

I was just teasing you because you told Tidal to talk to ME and get me to help her to feel better...then you won't take my advice! LOLOL...

only teasing you,
J
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I'm really spiralling fast here. I am afraid of looking at people. I'm afraid of people. I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid of everything. I never had it as bad as I am today. I really want to go and get locked up right now before I lose control completely.
 
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
LoL Janine, :)

I am better to give advices.... but not to take them from people. I am the most stubborn girl in the world! :?

But liscen to Janine :) Not me :) She doesn't change her mind all the time! :)

Cynthia xxx
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Tidal:
You need to do anything you can to distract yourself. When you do, you always feel better/stronger.

There is something odd that happens with us, and I do understand this: we FEEL like we NEED to keep our attention right on the symtpoms and all the weird feelings...as if our attention to them is HOLDING us in this side of sanity.

But no one, NO one can "will" themselves into staying sane. You are sane only because you are sane....not because you are DOING anything to keep yourself that way.

The anxiety and obsessions will just keep mounting and mounting....there is no "peak" to reach, no "Place" to get to where it will stop or turn around.

ONly YOU can turn it around....by trying as hard as you can to relax a bit and to FORCE your attention onto anything else besides yourself.

I know you BELIEVE that you have thoughts and desires and impulses that nobody knows about, and that if we really knew, we'd understand that you really are close to being crazy. Not true.

I had a hundred "secret" thoughts and horrible ideas and I was positive NOBODY on this earth ever thought that way.

That's part of the illness...and the illness is only anxiety and obsessionalism...

Love you,
Please trust me,
J
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I'm in tears. Could that post be more true?

But no one, NO one can "will" themselves into staying sane. You are sane only because you are sane....not because you are DOING anything to keep yourself that way.
That is the most important thing anyone could say to me. I am struggling to keep sane.. thinking that if I fight this and stay away from anything that scares me then maybe I'll retain my sanity.

You're so right Janine. Also, I have been waiting for a turning point.

there is no "peak" to reach, no "Place" to get to where it will stop or turn around.
I thought that maybe it will just exhaust itself... but it doesn't. Also, I guess I shouldn't be refering to my condition as "it" as I deep down know that it's me doing this to myself.

I guess today was a really really bad day but hopefully it will get better.
I do trust you Janine and I will take your advice.

Also, not to be crude... but I've had THE worst times with anxiety during PMS. It seems that each month every accumulates for a few days right before my period. Maybe it's partially hormonal then.

Thanks Janine.
Love ya,
Tidal
 

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mental hospital? please. been there, done that.

phyciatric hospitals don't help you, they hurt you. the expirence completely traumatized me, and the only reason why i haven't ODed again is because i don't want to go back there.

they have straight jackets and really bad food. you don't need it, and nobody does. you can fix yourself, i know you can. you're an intelligent person, and that means you are capible of it.

mental hospitals don't care about you, they just want to give you a diagnosis (even if it's wrong, like me), a bottle of pills and send you home. trust me, you don't need it.
 

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The hospital that I went to was really good for me. The doctor there sucked ass but the techs that worked there where wonderful to talk to, they had group activies (indoor and outdoor..this was in May) I was in there for seven days. I think that was the best seven days of my life this year. You don't have to worry about anything, they take care of you. Yeah, the food sucked but the over all experince was great. I guess it depends on which hospital you go to. some are really bad here in OKC but then again there are newer ones that are really good. If I could afford it, I'd go again since my DP is getting servirly worse. (No Insurance)
The hospital isn't an excape route. But for people to talk to 24/7, people taking care of your meds, and no worry's for you for awhile till you get a grip on DP or whatever, I think it's a great idea...unless you loose your job. That's what happen to me. I had a nerves brake down (at the age of 22) and when I went back to work...they fired me. :cry: It really sucked.
But different people have different oppions about hospitals. My husband when to a different hospital then I did about 10 years ago, and he hated it. He made friends, but hated the staff, doctors and theripsts. So it just depends on where, and who you are..... :?
 
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
See I have moments when I want to just check myself in but then I have others when I KNOW that this is all only anxiety. I actually don't have any symptoms of DP/DR anymore (I've had them for about 2 months and they went away when I started accepting them and saying ...f*** it... I'll just live with it).

The only thing I have now is racing thoughts and scary ideas that terrify me. Other than that, everything appears normal to me, people are no longer distorted etc.

I guess I just have to deal with my anxiety.

When I spoke to a doctor, he said they'd never admitt me anywhere since I'm only in need of some relxation techniques and the only thing they'd give me is a tranquilizer.

Well, I guess I just have to learn how to live with this.... or to be more specific, I just have to learn how to start living again period... I've done nothing but look up anxiety/DP/DR/mental illnesses etc. symptoms.

I need to get off my butt and face the fears.
 

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I know the feeling for sure, when I get so overwhelmed I just feel like I am insane. I feel like NO ONE understands the fact that I am completely messed up and crazy.

A mental hospital feels like someone would UNDERSTAND that I am crazy and I could just accept my insanity there instead of having constant anxiety about being crazy.

Every symptom ive read in your posts, Ive been there, done that. I wish I could tell you I'm better now.. I'm not.. but Ive improved over time (im currently in a rut again). You'll figure yourself out, just hang in there.
 

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If you're suffering from anxiety, or DP caused by anxiety, you might find these guys useful:

http://www.thelindenmethod.com

It's not perfect but by reading through the material several times it does help you to understand how your symptoms come about and how they are all related to anxiety. Read Charles Linden's story - he was compleetly fucked, hardly ever left the house and thought he was dying.

There's also a relaxation/self hypnosis CD that I found very helpful - I was using it twice a day then only once and now I listen to it occasionally. I'm not better (as in cured) but I am better than I was.

One of the most interesting things he says is that by concentrating on medication and medicalising the problem you are only perpetuating the problem - focus on your life and working through your problem. Distract yourself rather than focusing on how you feel.

One thing - if you do buy the Linden Method course, don't go for the huge printed folder. Get the e-download and free CDs and print it out yourself.

David
 
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
DONT GO INTO THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL

DONT GO INTO THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL

DONT GO INTO THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL

I'm sorry... I know I've already posted here.
I hated it. Involuntary patient, misdiagnosis... The ol' story...
Family manipulating the Doctors perceptions... All that "COOL" stuff.

:(
People THREATEN me with it all the time. They do it to paralyse me with fear...
To paranoia the HELL out of me...
People have SCREAMED their head off, and then lunged for the PHONE (police) to make me "be good".
DO NOT.GO.TO.THE.PSYCHIATRIC.HOSPITAL.

People THREATEN me without even any clear symptoms... DONT TALK TO ME
Anyone HERE been "threatened" with the Psychiatric hospital when you didn't even have CLEAR SYMPTOMS??? Were they SCREAMING THEIR HEAD OFF when they said it?
I've had 2 people "go for the PHONE", and 3 screamers "YOU NEED THE PSYCHIATRIC WARD"

About 10 "lay people" ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE ON MEDICATION???

A lady I lived with "You need an exorcism."

A Doctor "Are you hearing VOICES, right now???" (Spooky look on Her face)
A therapist "I want to regress you to when you were 5. Schizophrenics, like you, might be put under as GHOST as wake up as JFK."
The SAME Hypno: "I want to look for repressed memories from when you were 5."

A Medical Doctor (He hadn't taken ANY history at all) "How's ya violence?"
Paramedic, after my Medical Doctor noticed uneven pupils and wanted an immediate MRI "So... we goin to the PSYCH WARD???"

DO.NOT.GO.TO.THE.PSYCHIATRIC.HOSPITAL.THEY.WONT.HELP.YOU.THEY.DONT.KNOW.HOW.THEY.NEVER.WILL
 

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Um, yeah, thanks for the rant! Where are you from? Some hick town in the back of beyond? It can be tough but help is out there. This board is useful because you can go to the doctor, psychiatrist whatever and TELL them what help you need - because often you know more than they do. If you do have DP (and it sounds like if you have it then you have a whole bunch of other stuff as well) then I agree any kind of mental hospital is clearly not a good idea - though it's really tough, just getting on with your life as best you can, while trying to get the help you need and being strong and really pushing for it, is the best thing you can do.

David
 
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
David said:
Um, yeah, thanks for the rant! Where are you from? Some hick town in the back of beyond? It can be tough but help is out there. This board is useful because you can go to the doctor, psychiatrist whatever and TELL them what help you need - because often you know more than they do. If you do have DP (and it sounds like if you have it then you have a whole bunch of other stuff as well) then I agree any kind of mental hospital is clearly not a good idea - though it's really tough, just getting on with your life as best you can, while trying to get the help you need and being strong and really pushing for it, is the best thing you can do.

David
Sorry about my rant!!!
Yes. I'm from a HICK TOWN IN THE BACK OF BEYOND (Sydney, Aust. Actually).
I was put in Hosp. by my Mum...
I TRIED to tell them about my childhood.
I was forced to see 2 therapists for 9 years, concurrently (FORCED as part of my "regime"). When I said, my head went blank when I was 5, and I started panicking all the time, they... ignored it.
Schizophrenia. Ignoring my constant insistence THAT A CHILDHOOD HISTORY BE TAKEN. Ignored for 9 years, because, in the end, no-one wanted to "contradict" my diagnosing specialist (Adolescent SCHIZOPHRENIA specialist).
Asperger's Syndrome, which runs in my family, is also called "childhood schizophrenia".
I told my diagnosing Specialist, that I'd had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 2 years prior to my admission, but that my family had not sought help for me. He called my CFS "psychosomatic". I was given high dose VALIUM to "soften me up" (I flatly refused any Psych meds), and then high dose anti-psychotics... They sedated me, and I wasn't lying. I'd had Chronic fatigue Syndrome for 2 years very badly, and I did have a story to tell from when I was 5...

I only found out RECENTLY, that it had been MY RIGHT to request AT ANY TIME that anti-psychotics be stopped. They never imformed me of this.

My Mum committed me and told the Doctors that "no mental illness ran in our family".
She'd had a mental breakdown 2 years prior to committing me, and was seeing a Vietnam Vet specialist for Psychotic PTSD, She'd been made redundant as Matron in the oncology Dept of the hospital where She committed me.
At the time, She told me that PTSD wasn't mental illness, and that She was laid off work because of constant "migraines".

She'd saw the Psychiatrist for War trauma for a year while She had me treated for Schizophrenia. NONE of my Doctors/Therapist knew that the lady escorting me to all my treatment was mentally ill. They actually said I was stressing out Her life.

We started with a new medical Doctor the year She committed me, and Mum didn't declare Her mental illness, but She played poor victim to my gp for the last 10 years... When I phoned my old GP to inform Her of Mum's grand lie, my overly manipulated GP drew a blank.

At the time of being committed, my Mum was the ONLY member of our family being treated for mental illness, even though, as I wrote, She told the Doctors there was none.

My Mum refused to take Anti-depressants and sedatives suggested by Her Psychiatrist, was NEVER hospitalised and She told me that She faked it under hypnosis... She discharged Herself after 3 years of treatment and said that He was incompetant, and that She was completey well. (He is the best Vietnam Vet specialist in Sydney, with hundreds of Vets on His books).

My Mum has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Munchausen's by Proxy. I can LOVE anyone 10 times MORE than I can love myself... and I DID start dreaming when I was 5
 
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