Um, yeah, thanks for the rant! Where are you from? Some hick town in the back of beyond? It can be tough but help is out there. This board is useful because you can go to the doctor, psychiatrist whatever and TELL them what help you need - because often you know more than they do. If you do have DP (and it sounds like if you have it then you have a whole bunch of other stuff as well) then I agree any kind of mental hospital is clearly not a good idea - though it's really tough, just getting on with your life as best you can, while trying to get the help you need and being strong and really pushing for it, is the best thing you can do.
Sorry about my rant!!!
Yes. I'm from a HICK TOWN IN THE BACK OF BEYOND (Sydney, Aust. Actually).
I was put in Hosp. by my Mum...
I TRIED to tell them about my childhood.
I was forced to see 2 therapists for 9 years, concurrently (FORCED as part of my "regime"). When I said, my head went blank when I was 5, and I started panicking all the time, they... ignored it.
Schizophrenia. Ignoring my constant insistence THAT A CHILDHOOD HISTORY BE TAKEN. Ignored for 9 years, because, in the end, no-one wanted to "contradict" my diagnosing specialist (Adolescent SCHIZOPHRENIA specialist).
Asperger's Syndrome, which runs in my family, is also called "childhood schizophrenia".
I told my diagnosing Specialist, that I'd had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 2 years prior to my admission, but that my family had not sought help for me. He called my CFS "psychosomatic". I was given high dose VALIUM to "soften me up" (I flatly refused any Psych meds), and then high dose anti-psychotics... They sedated me, and I wasn't lying. I'd had Chronic fatigue Syndrome for 2 years very badly, and I did have a story to tell from when I was 5...
I only found out RECENTLY, that it had been MY RIGHT to request AT ANY TIME that anti-psychotics be stopped. They never imformed me of this.
My Mum committed me and told the Doctors that "no mental illness ran in our family".
She'd had a mental breakdown 2 years prior to committing me, and was seeing a Vietnam Vet specialist for Psychotic PTSD, She'd been made redundant as Matron in the oncology Dept of the hospital where She committed me.
At the time, She told me that PTSD wasn't mental illness, and that She was laid off work because of constant "migraines".
She'd saw the Psychiatrist for War trauma for a year while She had me treated for Schizophrenia. NONE of my Doctors/Therapist knew that the lady escorting me to all my treatment was mentally ill. They actually said I was stressing out Her life.
We started with a new medical Doctor the year She committed me, and Mum didn't declare Her mental illness, but She played poor victim to my gp for the last 10 years... When I phoned my old GP to inform Her of Mum's grand lie, my overly manipulated GP drew a blank.
At the time of being committed, my Mum was the ONLY member of our family being treated for mental illness, even though, as I wrote, She told the Doctors there was none.
My Mum refused to take Anti-depressants and sedatives suggested by Her Psychiatrist, was NEVER hospitalised and She told me that She faked it under hypnosis... She discharged Herself after 3 years of treatment and said that He was incompetant, and that She was completey well. (He is the best Vietnam Vet specialist in Sydney, with hundreds of Vets on His books).
My Mum has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Munchausen's by Proxy. I can LOVE anyone 10 times MORE than I can love myself... and I DID
start dreaming when I was 5