this is my third time having it. i had it for over a year the first time, 1 month the second and im on 2 months this time while being pregnant. i would rather have cancer or loss limbs than live with this again. medication fixed me last time and its not working this time. i love life and i have the most perfect life EVER but unfortunately im not willing to live in this world anymore if its has to be like this. I have 12 weeks until my baby and due and then i think its lights out for me. im scared and i want to live so bad but i cant like this. i dont know if its that it is worse this time or that my life is so perfect now and i cant be apart of it. i cant stand watching my life and not being apart of it anymore and i dont want to look at my baby boy and feel nothing when he is all i have ever wanted, its torture.