[person3]

wasn't supposed to meet a guy.

i was just trying to study for my real estate exam.

but i met this guy that i had a good feeling about

he seemed sweet, calm, affectionate.

very smart. had a big white dog. I loved the dog.

not a jerk. probably a reaction im having to previous jerks.

i felt this massive tingle when he asked for my number.

then

i found out

he
is
thirtyNINE

and i started to get panicky (im 23)

once i realized the age i didn't like him much anymore

it started to weird me out

he was like "don't let age be that big of a deal"

but I don't know.

now my whole liking him has been twisted badly and I don't know if I can recover it. it ramped up super high and crashed down in a millisecond. now it's like i wish he hadn't met me, i don't want him to call, i don't know what to do but in a way i kinda like him but i've dated older guys befroe and one of them was god awful. so. i dont' know.

what do you guys think?

am i too narrow minded on the age thing?

 

[mcsiegs]

Hmmmm...being a guy myself, I am picturing that any 39 year old that is going after someone in their early 20s is after one thing, but that is just my opinion.

I would focus on the following questions:

1. Does he have kids that are only a couple years younger than you? If so, steer clear.
2. Do you know anything about his relationship background (sometimes when older guys go after younger girls, they are not faithful. To them, it is a game of how many youngins they can get - I stress, sometimes)

Overall, in my opinion, it is a bad idea. I am 29, and my girlfriend is 24, and I sometimes notice the 5 year difference. I can't imagine a 16 year difference.

 

[person3]

i don't know. i'll have to do some research. he is really good friends with a childhood friend of mine, hillary. she says he's a great guy. i'll have to find a sly way of prying every bit of info out of her save his social security number without sounding too paranoid

I've dated a man with a child. NEVER EVER AGAIN. I really don't believe this man has a child but it could do good to ask.

 

[person3]

oh, and when I asked hillary about the age difference, her boyfriend walked by and said "i'm 39"...i was like crap

 

[dakotajo]

I dont think the age should matter much, but my opinion is biased being Im an old geezer too(36). What are you presently looking for out of a relationship? Are you looking to settle down? As pointed out above Im sure this guy just wants sex. If thats all you are looking for than go for it.

 

[person3]

whoa i definitely don't want a fling right now. i either want a real relationship or bust. but i don't think i'm enough on my feet for a real relationship, you know? I have things I need to do, I know i'm not fully developed as a person to experience a real relationship.

 

[Axel19]

That's a very big age difference in my opninion, and it's perfectly normal to be put off by it.
Personally I've never really liked the whole old guy.young girl thing. But then I probably am biased, since so many of the girls I have liked have buggered off with guys ten years my senior.
I just think couples of the same age are so much more romantic. When younger girls go for older guys I reckon it's almost always about gaining some form of security, it's like an economic decision or something.
Oh, and it's not about maturity or anything either, there are plenty of guys as mature as girls.
In my opnion you should let this one pass. How cool can he be if he's going after a girl 26 years his junior? Sorry I am very biased against these sort of relationships.

 

[mcsiegs]

How cool can he be if he's going after a girl 26 years his junior?

Axel19 - it's "only" 16 years her senior. I had to pick on you since I was a math major in college

 

[sebastian]

That is a predicament, PersonIII, and i hate to give the PC answer here, but i think it's different for every person in every situation.

One of my best friends is 31 and she is getting married to a guy who is 45 next month. He also has two kids. I protested very hard against this union, which i felt quite blasphemous, but she insisted she was doing the right thing. Now, a month before their wedding, i see that she was probably right. They're very happy together. He treats her like the princess she is. And they're very good together.

I mean, for all i know, they're going to divorce before the year is out but they've been living together for some time now and all seems well in Denmark.

Anyway, i don't know. I've actually often preferred the company of older women for proabably the same reason that some women seem to prefer the company of older men. They are wiser, have figured out a lot of stuff, and usually are a lot more interesting. Plus, they're almost invariably better in bed.

But it all depends on what you're looking for, what you're interested in, and what you want out of this relationship.

 

[Axel19]

mcsiegs, oops yes it is 16 years. But that's still 16 years. Still the same age difference between me and a 4 year old.

 

[enigma]

mcsiegs, oops yes it is 16 years. But that's still 16 years. Still the same age difference between me and a 4 year old.

Or a 50 year old and a thirty-four year old. :?

e

 

[agentcooper]

i think it just depends on the person, person. i don't think i'd feel too comfy with dating someone who was 16 yrs older than me, but i know plenty of relationships that work with age differences much greater than 16 yrs.

let us know what you chose and how it worked out for you, k?

 

[enigma]

i don't think i'd feel too comfy with dating someone who was 16 yrs older than me

Well that's really nice to hear, given that I'm exactly 16 years older than you (you're 27, right?).

What the hell is up with this sh*t anyway?

When I was in my twenties, women in their twenties all wanted old guys (on the premise that they'd 'made it' in life).

I resented it (and I suspect that is largely what this is really about on the part of the younger males in this thread), but I thought my time would come.

How times change, though.

Now that I'm an old guy myself (43), we're bane.

Do you know what a 43 year old woman looks like?

Everything on her is yielding to gravity. (And they're all fat, too.)

At the serious risk of sounding like a superficial pig here, I wouldn't want one.

A man likes to plant his seed in fertile ground.

e

 

[mcsiegs]

Do you know what a 43 year old woman looks like?

Everything on her is yielding to gravity. (And they're all fat, too.)

e

That's quite a stereotype there, Enigma. I guess you're not too much into having a woman that you love rather than just lust. 43 year old men also succumb to gravity (pecs, butt, shoulders, posture).

I would take a 43 year old smart, nice woman who I liked and had some sagging breasts and butt over a 23 year old that was as smart as nails any day (person3, this doesn't mean you - I am using this as an example). At the end of the day, the relationship has to have substance.

 

[enigma]

43 year old men also succumb to gravity (pecs, butt, shoulders, posture).

Not this one (not so far, anyway.)

About the only thing I don't have wrong with me, in fact.

I would take a 43 year old smart, nice woman who I liked and had some sagging breasts and butt over a 23 year old that was as smart as nails any day

Sure you would. :roll:

Okay, I'm a lusty creep.

But I'm not entirely about lust. (I'd want to love the chick.)

But my energy levels are such that I would need some additional 'inspiration' to get going in the sack (if you follow me).

And I'm not talking about staring at porn while doing it, either.

e

 

[agentcooper]

i don't think i'd feel too comfy with dating someone who was 16 yrs older than me

Well that's really nice to hear, given that I'm exactly 16 years older than you (you're 27, right?).

What the hell is up with this sh*t anyway?

When I was in my twenties, women in their twenties all wanted old guys (on the premise that they'd 'made it' in life).

I resented it (and I suspect that is largely what this is really about on the part of the younger males in this thread), but I thought my time would come.

e

hmmm...i just think that most 43 yr olds would be in a different place than me, both emotionally and in their lives. i still don't want to settle down completely and i have lots of things to do and see. also, i think that the twenties are a really emotionally hard time for people so i'm probably too messed up in the head for a relationship with someone who has figured themselves out. i'm not trying to say that every 43 yr old is going to be settled down, or know everything about themselves, but i think most of them are way closer to attaining those things....

so, nothin' against you 40 yr olds and you can still be hot...it just wouldn' be too healthy for me to date ya'll.

 

[enigma]

so, nothin' against you 40 yr olds and you can still be hot...it just wouldn' be too healthy for me to date ya'll.

Fair enough.

e

 

[Guest]

Age difference is not a big deal. The most important things in a relationship are the rapport, connection, and attraction between you. I've met very immature men who are older than me and very mature men who are younger than me, and vice versa of course.

enigma, I think most people are fat these days! Young and old. I'm always shocked and amazed at the size of people when I venture out of doors. What happened out there? Is it something in the air?

 

[person3]

I don't think I could ever date a guy who is superficial enough to say that all the women his age are fat.

I've been overweight and underweight before, spent a while with anorexia, and still have panics very often over food issues. I maintain a healthy weight but I have spent most of my life since about the fourth grade obsessed with and hating the way I looked, sometimes to the point of suicide for it.

For a guy to re-affirm my worst fears, that the only thing loveable and lustworthy about me is to be young and thin and not sagging...for a guy to cheer on the ideal that I killed myself over and over again to achieve, for a guy to say that the disorder I ruined school and my mind and an obsession that I ruined years of my life over for were WORTH it because if I were fat and saggy he wouldn't love me...

well, that guy is just a fuckhead.

and if he can't get it up right away I wouldn't want him anyway.

i'm just sayin'.

oh. and if you want a hot 23 year old I suggest you better be damn good looking yourself.

(sorry for the harshness, i'm jsut a little upset at the moment)
the only thing that attracted me to this guy was good conversation and smarts, by the way. He was good looking in the sense that he took care of himself.

 

[person3]

by the way, I already sag and have stretch marks. comes with being a d. but i still get a lot of compliments. i'm going to find a guy with incredibly hot brains someday.