[Guest]

I am still not sure if I have dp but I will explain my story to the best of my mental capacity in the hopes that someone can give me advice.
It is hard for me to describe my childhood because my memory is so diluted. From what I can remeber though, I was always a quiet child, not ever realy being comfortable around people, and always having trouble expressing my feelings. Part of this I think is due to my stepfather who is no longer a part of my life. He was extremely controling and every day with him was like walking on eggshells. He could explode into a fit of rage at any moment, taking out his distress on my brother and I usually through vocal abuse although he did hit my brother sometimes. As I got older, aroung the age of fourteen, I started smoking weed as an escape and something to pass the time. In the beggining, this took my mind off of my stresses and made me giggly. After a while, maybe around the age of seventeen, I went to a concert where my friends got there hands on some acid. Not knowing the consequences, I took only one tab and smoked some pot. About an hour later, I decided to leave the company of my friends and walk home because it was getting late and the acid didn't seem to be taking effect. Big mistake. On my way home I started tripping and the anxiety and confusion set in. :shock: That night in my room, I had some of the worst realizations you could imagine, which I don't remember today. I got no sleep that night but stayed up with the worst fear that I was going crazy. :? After that experience, I have never been the same, In a constant state of confusion about who I am, and constantly over analyzing my every action. My detachment from myself and others is extreme and my mind doesnt seem to work any more. I am now at home trying to recover after atempting to got to college for four years. The reason why I think Ihave dp is the fact that I am so detached, additionally, I monitor my feelings and thoughts excessively. There are storys of dp that I can realy relate to that I will quote in another post. Has any one had an experience similar to this, and if so, how do you find yourself again. Already this site has shown me hope but as of now, I need the comments and support of you all. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

[falling_free]

Hello and welcome to the site foggy

Your story is quite simlair to mine in the sense that my depersonlisation and derelization was triggered by drugs , just weed and no acid but also some stress im sure contributed to my eventual dp/dr situation that I now live with on a daily basis.

I haven't yet fully got rid of the horrible dp and dr feelings but I have certainly improved a lot from my inital episodes of anxiety and dp feelings, which I have mostly achieved though the old cliches of focusing outward and making a coucious effort to not focus or overanyalse thoughts.

the regaining reality section has a lot of good advice on how to possibly relieve dp/dr sympons.

 

[Guest]

i relate to feeling uncomfortable/shy around people as a child. i felt that way too--like i never really belonged.

 

[Guest]

mine was from weed also. the hardest part of my recovery was figuring out i had it. i use to think i was just shy.. now i force myself to engage in conversations and "drama," instead of being the observer. It really helps cuz u start to feel like yourself again and it becomes less foggy. ive only been self-diagnosed for a few weeks now and trying to fix this problem asap.

 

[Guest]

It really helps cuz u start to feel like yourself again and it becomes less foggy. ive only been self-diagnosed for a few weeks now and trying to fix this problem asap.

This may explain why I've always wanted things to happen. Anything. Anything at all. Even after crashing my car I thought it would be cool if it caught on fire

 

[jack]

similar symptoms, triggered by ecstasy. Not sure if im just a little over sensitive and paranoid about brain damage or it is physical, but whichever, feel that 'something' (terribly vauge but it is hard to explain) has changed/ and or missing. Used to be very bad but has receded with two years gone by. It is reassuring to know that we aren't alone huh?! (can read my story somewhere. If you are interested. Think its entitled self induced something or other by ecstasy. Would appreciate comments)

P.S; even with these symptoms i am very happy. Just a little scared and confused.

 

[richiecripps]

dude, of all the posts i've read on here this is the most similar to mine. I took acid about six months ago after just loosing my girlfriend and i have been in this horrible derealized state ever since. I too feel like my mind doesn't work anymore and feel weak bodied and feel constant detatchment from everyone. How long have you been like this? the scariest thing is i feel comfort in entertaining the idea of suicide.

 

[Brainsilence02]

the scariest thing is i feel comfort in entertaining the idea of suicide.

this is just an idea, i had it myself. but don't even think of doing it. try putting some pre-conditions to yourself "I will not do it" JUST IN CASE you ever consider it possible.