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Just got back from the psychiatrist and tried to tell him everything. Tried telling him about how I see coincidences all the time, which seem far too fantastical and ridiculous to be true. How I see things multiple times in a day. How I literally can't tell if I'm in the real world or not. Despite everything Ive read to try and convince myself this is all happening, I still don't believe it. Science seems inconceivable, magic seems inconceivable. I told him how it is not me controlling the every day things I am doing, how I literally can't explain anything, how I feel semi conscious and like I'm not here at all.

His response. To try and convince me to take an ant-psychotic. Telling me why this was all a sort of delusion and psychosis. How he doesn't have a diagnosis for me until I take this anti psychotic. A load of other stuff that just scared and confused me. He told me that no amount of therapy will stop this problem and how only an anti psychotic will. He said next time I see him, I'll be the same or

The thing is, I can't cry, I can't panic, because the mess I'm already on have completely made me incapable of that. This makes it worse because I can't work out how I can possibly be in control when these things are controlling me.

You see I'm scared, and feel I can't trust anybody. Because when I had anxiety problems, every doctor, every book, every person told me it was impossible for me to become psychotic, schizophrenic etc. But now here I am being told I have a psychosis, a delusion.

The truth is, I can actually see it. Things I'm thinking and seeing are what I would have classed as delusional back in the day. I'm just scared of what else I'm going to start to believe. Because I can't trust anything now. Not what I see, hear, read, what I'm told. I'm getting more and more paranoid by the day.

Help
 

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Yes!! i have same! this last forever. things repeat itself.. same things happens over and over again. mind is crazy. it is like a nightmare. its like i cant anymore go back to reality or this life. i feel im no longer here. but this delusional state just lasts anymore. i have taken medication but those just makes this worse so i dont suggest them. i think heres no cure for this only have to wait... im waitin everyday that something happens... but same time i dont care anymore... this has gone so bad thath i dont care anymore anything. i dont even care killin myself. seems anyway weid option in this point.....
 

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Sorry to hear that. I think the problem is that you are describing both paranoid and deeply dissociative symptoms, both of which could be associated with something more serious than DP. That's the thing though, we can't diagnose you online or reassure you insofar as saying things like "you don't have ___ " (insert serious mental health problem) because the truth is, you may well have it. But even if you do, it's not the end of the world. I have learned that pretty much anything can be managed with the appropriate treatment.

The myriad of symptoms you described are likely quite overwhelming to a mental health professional. That's one of the problems I ran into myself - I realized that every time I showed up, I had a long list of things written down that I wanted to get off my chest, and yet I would always feel cut short or that I couldn't quite explain it all correctly. Every psychiatrist is different, but I find the majority will develop a theory of what they suspect is wrong quite early on and run with it. Honestly though, taking an antipsychotic may not be the worst option. I actually wanted to go that route myself, but my psych told me no.

I think the best thing you can do is put it all out there and try to have an open mind regarding meds. It's pretty obvious to me that you likely need to be taking something, though I wouldn't like to hazard a guess as to what. I hope you can find something that works and don't get hung up on the stigma of mental health, whether you do have psychosis, paranoia or whatever else. So many of us here have things like that to some degree.

Good luck to you.
 
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