[louisedge123]

what would you say if i said that now i have been through a series of relapses to get me where i am that when i do relapse .......

that i actually enjoy the dream like feeling the contrast of everything is too good.. on a dim golden sky night by sea it looks unbelievable, i am more confident because everyone looks blank aha and that numb feeling you get means no anxiety... it's fuckin bliss.. every time i have come so close to recovery the anxiety comes back and i also get bored because i have nothing to think about during the day because i all i am used to thinking about is DR/DP.

you will also learn how to handle your anxiety so much that when you relapse.. you will never get as deep in the whole as you once did.. it comes back and you can feel it trying to take over your mind but naaa you can't have that....NO FEAR !

taking the positives from a negative ..... some people just can't handle it... man up enjoy it...

REALITY REALLY ISN'T THAT AMAZING trustttttt meeeeeeee

xxx

 

[Neil_]

Ive had weird crazy sensations the past week that have made me freak out but last night as in lay in bed i felt nothing yes everything felt unreal and calm but it actually felt good,id rather have that then the detached feelings

 

[resinoptes]

Although in my experience, given that the detatchment prevents an adaptive response in social situations, given that one cannot act with confidence that one is a Self equivalent to the other Selves around them, such peace could only come with isolation.

I am not by nature isolating, so I have been in a continual cycle of social exhaustion and recovery since I was depersonalized on October 15th 2010.

In a situation of where I am in a group of three, and the two others have differing views to one another, I cannot reconcile them because due to my detatchment I cannot naturally express a view of my own.

This is one of the most crippling aspects of DP for me, as my life is perpetually mired in an over stimulating morass of external detail to the detriment of forward movement.

 

[Skynet]

Well to enjoy the feeling is sure a unique way to put a positive spin on something that feels like a living hell. But I understand where you are coming from. I guess it's a way to dimish it in your mind so that it doesn't scare you as much. I'm willing to give it a try.

 

[louisedge123]

Skynet

Well to enjoy the feeling is sure a unique way to put a positive spin on something that feels like a living hell. But I understand where you are coming from. I guess it's a way to dimish it in your mind so that it doesn't scare you as much. I'm willing to give it a try.

Skynet if you try and lap this feeling up in the weirdest ways possible, it will not last long....

an example ....

your arms feel really detached .... watch them and think well i don't have to think about what im doing because it is like someone else is doing it for me. Being on auto-pilot may suck but fuck it..... your mind is getting a rest... it is nice !!

if you look at your hands and instantly start to get an anxious feeling DO NOT fight that anxiety.. never. ever.. FEAR THE FEAR !!! let the anxiety do what the fuck it wants to do !!

you will find anxiety will not bother you if you let it do its thing when it needs to do it.

another thing people hate is the feeling of being invisible ... mostly in the face, or the sensation of being out side of your body.....whatever,
i don't like the feeling at all but i have learnt to use it to its best !!! i have bad social anxiety ..with DP none of that bullshit, i am seriously confident .. i can look people in the eye and confront anyone i wouldn't normally be able to. i can play music confidently infront of how ever many people i want and i will not get phased.

i am using depersonalisation as a defence which is what it is, this is why with me i only have these symptoms for maybe a month ...2 at the most .. then anxiety and fear and bad habits seem to kick in when i come to recovery for some reason which is what im working on now.. but you need to relapse to learn. that's the trick.

what else could i go on about.

o yeah the 2D life haha this doesn't effect me or bother me in any way... and it shouldn't for you.

that's enough blabbing.

Just use it man !

it is there

 

[player1]

idk if were on the same page but i think we r in the same situation. i had dp for the last 8-9 months and am just starting to come out of it. however, i just recently felt like id made a bunch of progress to the point where i started feeling like myself again (stressed out) and then, boom, it hit me. i like went right back into it. im scared iwont be able to make a full recovery but at the same idk if i want to cuz i dont want the stress..

 

[Guest]

Could never use the word enjoy for this! As I see this, my DP/DR are connected to my being an overly anxious person. Right now, I do not feel at all anxious and I am still DP/DR. I hate it. I continue to do things, but I KNOW I do not feel the way I did for certain short periods of time as a young girl.

When someone is DP/DR free the perceptual disortion is gone. One's anxiety may be less, or gone as well. The problem is if someone is prone to OVER-reacting to stess, etc., one tends to be a stressed out person.

IDK, I can't explain myself. But this would be like saying, "I don't mind having my broken leg pain, it distracts me from the pain in my broken arm." That isn't a good analogy either.

Well, no. I have never found DP/DR to be "protecting me" ... I see it as the result of overstimulation/abuse/anxiety ... like a blown fuse. Or it very well may be, in my case DPDisorder, an entity in and of itself. A perceptual distortion arising from ? and not going away.

Too many other causes for DP/DR.

 

[Guest]

This fascinating article explains how much more complicated this all is. Genetics, predisposition, trauma, etc., etc., etc. Give the brain some credit for its amazing complexity.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/12/121202164057.htm

Childhood Trauma Leaves Mark On DNA of Some Victims: Gene-Environment Interaction Causes Lifelong Dysregulation of Stress Hormones
Dec. 2, 2012 - Abused children are at high risk of anxiety and mood disorders, as traumatic experience induces lasting changes to their gene regulation. Scientists from the Max Planck Institute of Psychiatry in Munich have now documented for the first time that genetic variants of the FKBP5 gene can influence epigenetic alterations in this gene induced by early trauma.

In individuals with a genetic predisposition, trauma causes long-term changes in DNA methylation leading to a lasting dysregulation of the stress hormone system. As a result, those affected find themselves less able to cope with stressful situations throughout their lives, frequently leading to depression, post-traumatic stress disorder or anxiety disorders in adulthood. Doctors and scientists hope these discoveries will yield new treatment strategies tailored to individual patients, as well as increased public awareness of the importance of protecting children from trauma and its consequences.

Many human illnesses arise from the interaction of individual genes and environmental influences. Traumatic events, especially in childhood, constitute high risk factors for the emergence of psychiatric illnesses in later life. However, whether early stress actually leads to a psychiatric disorder depends largely on his or her genetic predisposition.

Research Group Leader Elisabeth Binder of the Max Planck Institute of Psychiatry examined the DNA of almost 2000 Afro-Americans who had been repeatedly and severely traumatised as adults or in childhood. One-third of trauma victims had become ill and was now suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. The risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder rose with increasing severity of abuse only in the carriers of a specific genetic variant in the FKBP5 gene. FKPB5 determines how effectively the organism can react to stress, and by this regulates the entire stress hormone system. The scientists hoped to cast light on the mechanisms of this gene-environment interaction by comparing modifications of the DNA sequence of victims who had not become ill with that of those who had.

The Munich-based Max Planck scientists were then able to demonstrate that the genetic FKBP5 variant does make a physiological difference to those affected, also in nerve cells. Extreme stress and the associated high concentrations of stress hormones bring about what is called an epigenetic change. A methyl group is broken off the DNA at this point, causing a marked increase in FKBP5 activity. This lasting epigenetic change is generated primarily through childhood traumatisation. Consequently, no disease-related demethylation of the FKBP5 gene was detected in participants who were traumatised in adulthood only.

Torsten Klengel, a scientist at the Max Planck Institute of Psychiatry, explains the findings of the study as follows: "Depending on genetic predisposition, childhood trauma can leave permanent epigenetic marks on the DNA, further de-repressing FKBP5 transcription. The consequence is a permanent dysregulation of the victim's stress hormone system, which can ultimately lead to psychiatric illness. Decisive for victims of childhood abuse, however, is that the stress-induced epigenetic changes can only occur if their DNA has a specific sequence."
This recent study improves our understanding of psychiatric illnesses which arise from the interaction of environmental and genetic factors. The results will help tailor treatment particularly for patients who were exposed to trauma in early childhood, thereby greatly increasing their risk of illness."

[Torsten Klengel, Divya Mehta, Christoph Anacker, Monika Rex-Haffner, Jens C Pruessner, Carmine M Pariante, Thaddeus W W Pace, Kristina B Mercer, Helen S Mayberg, Bekh Bradley, Charles B Nemeroff, Florian Holsboer, Christine M Heim, Kerry J Ressler, Theo Rein, Elisabeth B Binder. Allele-specific FKBP5 DNA demethylation mediates gene-childhood trauma interactions. Nature Neuroscience, 2012; DOI: 10.1038/nn.3275]

 

[MIndfAEL]

Could never use the word enjoy for this! As I see this, my DP/DR are connected to my being an overly anxious person. Right now, I do not feel at all anxious and I am still DP/DR. I hate it. I continue to do things, but I KNOW I do not feel the way I did for certain short periods of time as a young girl.

When someone is DP/DR free the perceptual disortion is gone. One's anxiety may be less, or gone as well. The problem is if someone is prone to OVER-reacting to stess, etc., one tends to be a stressed out person.

IDK, I can't explain myself. But this would be like saying, "I don't mind having my broken leg pain, it distracts me from the pain in my broken arm." That isn't a good analogy either.

Well, no. I have never found DP/DR to be "protecting me" ... I see it as the result of overstimulation/abuse/anxiety ... like a blown fuse. Or it very well may be, in my case DPDisorder, an entity in and of itself. A perceptual distortion arising from ? and not going away.

Too many other causes for DP/DR.

i feel like dp is almost like a bad habit. the problem is people dont understand it or understand it yet are too anxious/stressed to overcome it. i honestly 100% believe its possible for me to recover but its difficult as i am very prone to stress like u said. do u honestly believe you have dp as its own disorder that you are unable to recover from?

 

[Guest]

dreamer, why can't I send u a pm?

Susto, I've shut off my PM feature. It's been off for ... a year? Forgot. I get too many messages to answer. Please look at my website http://www.dreamchild.net (links aren't working for some reason) which details my life experience with this. There is also an auto-response there. I check the email infrequently as I can't keep up conversations with everyone who writes me.
I'm glad I can help, but if I did this all the time, I'd have no time to eat!
Sorry.
I come here now and again to post some research update or respond to something.
Take Care,
D

 

[Guest]

i feel like dp is almost like a bad habit. the problem is people dont understand it or understand it yet are too anxious/stressed to overcome it. i honestly 100% believe its possible for me to recover but its difficult as i am very prone to stress like u said. do u honestly believe you have dp as its own disorder that you are unable to recover from?

Can't say it's a "bad habit" save it could be conditioned to where it is more and more difficult to control. And everyone has had this in varying degrees of severity, some from drugs/meds, others from abuse, etc. And I always remind people, individuals with stroke, epilepsy, brain tumor, severe head injury, etc. also get DP/DR, so there is clearly a neurological component. All thoughts, actions and emotions are part of brain function.

As for "recovery." -- have a look at my website. I had chronic sustained abuse for years - verbal, neglect, literally no love. Only child. For the first 15 years of my life I was DP (on and off), anxious, and crying a good deal of the time. My sense is if I had more resources back in the 1970s my outcome would be different. But on the other hand I know of older people who have had some degree of this their entire life. Other young people-- it goes away.

I call the cessastionof DP/DR "remission" as I would depression, panic, etc. These things seem to be controlled. Most difficult for me has ALWAYS been the DP.

I can say that endless med trials, therapy of all sorts has never "cured me" or put me into remission. I may be in the 1-2% of individuals with actual DPD. That is my diagnosis at the university where I see a psychiatrist and a therapist. The diagnosis has not really changed since 1975. I was diagnosed immediately at that time, and this didn't help, the psychiatrist told me DP/DR is incurable. That doesn't help a 15 year old girl who has no support from her parents, no siblings, no extended family.

Every case here is unique. I am very open about my illness to help others.

If you wish to learn more about me, either read about me here and read my Blogs or go to my site. I'm now involved in helping individuals with ALL mental illneses as I have more than one. Depression, anxiety, and DP/DR. Nothing occurs in a vacuum.

And finally, drug induced vs. non drug induced -- can't answer the long term outcome. As noted, there is an anti-acne med minocycline? sp? which causes DP/DR. Why? Antibiotics have been known to cause this. "Twilight Sleep" in the dentists office can cause this in children and adults. Why it is transient in some vs. others would indicate some of us have a predisposition to a more severe version of DP/DR or a more chronic form.

If I go into remission I would be the first to report it, on my site and here.

I grew up without the internet and without knowing anyone else had this illness, and didn't even understand what it was. DP/DR are simply perceptual distortions. All people/most/ dissociate at one time or another, so it is a natural instinct -- animals do too. "Fight/flight." There are other theories as well.

I don't have any more answers than the very best researchers out there.

There are too many variables.
Hope this helps,
D

Website: having trouble posting it: http://www.dreamchild.net

 

[Guest]

Susto, my post to you disappeared. Darn. I simply can't keep up witht he volume of questions.

Please see my site if you can get to it ...... http://www.dreamchild.net

 

[Guest]

Last REALITY IS AMAZING. It is beautiful. I miss it so much. But I can't dwell on that. I dwell on the small joys it life.

 

[MIndfAEL]

Can't say it's a "bad habit" save it could be conditioned to where it is more and more difficult to control. And everyone has had this in varying degrees of severity, some from drugs/meds, others from abuse, etc. And I always remind people, individuals with stroke, epilepsy, brain tumor, severe head injury, etc. also get DP/DR, so there is clearly a neurological component. All thoughts, actions and emotions are part of brain function.

As for "recovery." -- have a look at my website. I had chronic sustained abuse for years - verbal, neglect, literally no love. Only child. For the first 15 years of my life I was DP (on and off), anxious, and crying a good deal of the time. My sense is if I had more resources back in the 1970s my outcome would be different. But on the other hand I know of older people who have had some degree of this their entire life. Other young people-- it goes away.

I call the cessastionof DP/DR "remission" as I would depression, panic, etc. These things seem to be controlled. Most difficult for me has ALWAYS been the DP.

I can say that endless med trials, therapy of all sorts has never "cured me" or put me into remission. I may be in the 1-2% of individuals with actual DPD. That is my diagnosis at the university where I see a psychiatrist and a therapist. The diagnosis has not really changed since 1975. I was diagnosed immediately at that time, and this didn't help, the psychiatrist told me DP/DR is incurable. That doesn't help a 15 year old girl who has no support from her parents, no siblings, no extended family.

Every case here is unique. I am very open about my illness to help others.

If you wish to learn more about me, either read about me here and read my Blogs or go to my site. I'm now involved in helping individuals with ALL mental illneses as I have more than one. Depression, anxiety, and DP/DR. Nothing occurs in a vacuum.

And finally, drug induced vs. non drug induced -- can't answer the long term outcome. As noted, there is an anti-acne med minocycline? sp? which causes DP/DR. Why? Antibiotics have been known to cause this. "Twilight Sleep" in the dentists office can cause this in children and adults. Why it is transient in some vs. others would indicate some of us have a predisposition to a more severe version of DP/DR or a more chronic form.

If I go into remission I would be the first to report it, on my site and here.

I grew up without the internet and without knowing anyone else had this illness, and didn't even understand what it was. DP/DR are simply perceptual distortions. All people/most/ dissociate at one time or another, so it is a natural instinct -- animals do too. "Fight/flight." There are other theories as well.

I don't have any more answers than the very best researchers out there.

There are too many variables.
Hope this helps,
D

Website: having trouble posting it: http://www.dreamchild.net

When* you go into remission

 

[TheGame]

wow humanity has come to a damn lowpoint if DP/DR is bliss. Now i know that you dont really mean that DP/DR is bliss i know you mean that your suffering ends where your numbness begins but shesh son try to up your standards alittle when it comes to bliss..

 

[Skynet]

One thing I can really appreciate from this topic is the "Fuck It" attitude. Don't let the DP scare you and ultimately it won't bother you (or) it will go away. I've heard this message more than once. I think it's a good message. It's difficult though. Personally DP makes me feel very nauseous. So It's hard to play these little mind games when all I'm feeling is sick to my stomach. The negative physical symptoms outweigh the positive mental messages that I'm trying to believe. I think this is why I'm stuck. However I still really like the ultimate message of not letting fear take over. I like that message a lot.

 

[louisedge123]

wow humanity has come to a damn lowpoint if DP/DR is bliss. Now i know that you dont really mean that DP/DR is bliss i know you mean that your suffering ends where your numbness begins but shesh son try to up your standards alittle when it comes to bliss..

No anxiety is fucking bliss to me

 

[Jpa]

Could never use the word enjoy for this! As I see this, my DP/DR are connected to my being an overly anxious person. Right now, I do not feel at all anxious and I am still DP/DR. I hate it. I continue to do things, but I KNOW I do not feel the way I did for certain short periods of time as a young girl.

When someone is DP/DR free the perceptual disortion is gone. One's anxiety may be less, or gone as well. The problem is if someone is prone to OVER-reacting to stess, etc., one tends to be a stressed out person.

IDK, I can't explain myself. But this would be like saying, "I don't mind having my broken leg pain, it distracts me from the pain in my broken arm." That isn't a good analogy either.

Well, no. I have never found DP/DR to be "protecting me" ... I see it as the result of overstimulation/abuse/anxiety ... like a blown fuse. Or it very well may be, in my case DPDisorder, an entity in and of itself. A perceptual distortion arising from ? and not going away.

Too many other causes for DP/DR.

Dreamer is there anyway you can maybe explain this to me. I had severe dp/dr after childbirth from anxiety and sleep deprivation. In the beginning I was detached and felt like I was in a dream but I still felt like myself. When I went to dr and he put me on antidepressants it made it so much worse. My mind went into major dp/dr to the point I was trying to get better in all my dreams. Gradually as I kept going on with my daily routine the detachment and dreamlike went away but I feel so far away from my old self. I just feel like a body with horrible thoughts about life. It's so bad now that I know I'm going to have to live like this and I am having a hard time functioning because I want my old self back so bad but I don't even remember that. Nothing excites me and I just feel like a body. Can the brain really just leave you like a body with no mind? I've never had a mental illness before this at all. My therapist said I'm going to have to create a new self and I'm having a hard time doing that. If you have any suggestions on where you think I ended up that would be great. Also, why do u think I felt more like myself in it and then when I came out of it, it's like I'm a different person? I would appreciate anything you have. Thx!!

 

[Emillie]

what would you say if i said that now i have been through a series of relapses to get me where i am that when i do relapse .......

that i actually enjoy the dream like feeling the contrast of everything is too good.. on a dim golden sky night by sea it looks unbelievable, i am more confident because everyone looks blank aha and that numb feeling you get means no anxiety... it's fuckin bliss.. every time i have come so close to recovery the anxiety comes back and i also get bored because i have nothing to think about during the day because i all i am used to thinking about is DR/DP.

you will also learn how to handle your anxiety so much that when you relapse.. you will never get as deep in the whole as you once did.. it comes back and you can feel it trying to take over your mind but naaa you can't have that....NO FEAR !

taking the positives from a negative ..... some people just can't handle it... man up enjoy it...

REALITY REALLY ISN'T THAT AMAZING trustttttt meeeeeeee

xxx

I like you, louisedge123