no i have no resentment or hate towards my mom, i've always been close to her. its just hard not to be able to feel a hug. i actually just cried a little, which made me feel human. i was just getting a picture in my head of me hugging my whole family full of emotion and saying i love you to my mom, dad, bro, and sis, and just holding on to them tight and just thinking that made me cry. i cannot wait till that day where i can hug my own family and tell them i love them with a lot of emotion.
if i get out of this i am going to hug my mom every day and tell her i love her. i have resentment hate towards my brother but i still want to give him a big hug and tell him i love him and actually feel it. it hurts not to be able to do that now. i should have done it b4. all i want is to love music again, basketball, and most of all have the love for my family. i just keep thinking about my mom all the time now and how i wish i wasn't like this.