[shady69510]

I feel the need to talk to someone who understands what I have been through and I have been feeling really lonely since no one around me did.
Am I the only one whose family didn’t feel empathy for the struggles that I have been through.
No matter how much I tried to explain I couldn’t explain the pain and stress I am feeling. At some point I felt like no one really cares about me. It felt like I was talking to myself.
No matter how vividly I was explaining my symptoms and the stuff that I am going through it felt no one truly cared. I mean my friends were listening and etc but none of them were really asking me how am I doing if I didn’t start talking about my condition. At some point I wanted to get rid of my friends cause I thought they weren’t true friends. But I think that would be a mistake cause they don’t know what it is.
Long story short, I was wondering how other people with DP went through, or was the I the only who felt unheard, not understood and alone. I would be really grateful to chat with any of you to share stories and provide support. Thank you so much. I really feel the need to be heard and understood.

 

[ThoughtOnFire]

This is actually very common among people suffering from DP/DR. There are people out there who can hear. But for the most part, if your friends and family only knew what you go through... then they'd see you as a superhero.

 

[shady69510]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I also used to think that way, only if they knew..

The thing is I am feeling so much better now, it is just I felt lonely and stuck for a very long time so I needed to talk to someone.
There was so many nights I felt lonely, angry, isolated cause no one seemed to care about my condition. It felt like my condition didn’t exist for my family. So i started to think like there’s something wrong with my family and I started to become angry and hateful. It ruined my relationships and peace at my family.
Now I realize that no matter how vividly I describe them they can’t feel empathy. I even made my parents watch movie Numb with Matthew Perry. Even that couldn’t make them feel empathy that I needed. At that time I needed someone to hug me and tell me that it is going be fine but no one did. So that left a scar in me even though my symptoms diminished a lot since I processed my traumatic memories and so on.

I would be happy to share my story with other DP/DR sufferers and listen to their stories. And provide needed support and understanding. Peace and love.

 

[Aridity]

I can relate so much, I do have a lot of support from my friends but I think no one truly understands, which I get because this condition is impossible to understand if you've never been through it your self. The anger, and frustration I have felt at times was so bad I wanted to let people know how much I struggle, the fact that I look very normal and act very normal and maybe have it all better than the average Joe makes it even harder.. sometimes I think people think I am lying or something. It's so frustrating. What thoughtonfire says.. if they knew they will see us as a superhero which we really are.

 

[shady69510]

Thank you for your reply. My friends were supportive and listening but nobody could really empathize and check on me. They weren’t asking about my condition unless I was talking about it. It seemed like it didn’t exist for them and that was turning me against them. In case of family, it was even worse. They weren’t checking on me or asking how am I doing. The funny thing is whenever I got flue or smth, my dad checks on me every couple of hours and does everything for me to heal, but he wasn’t asking about my condition. I was so angry that all other good stuff he was doing to me didn’t matter at the time.
So I always had this question in my mind, if it were me whose friend had DP and told me all about it? Would I check on him? Or ask how he is doing every once in a while? Or I also wouldn’t feel empathy? The answer to this question is still a mystery to me.

 

[Kittymoo]

I never would have understood this before it happened to me, because my emotions were intense and constant. I had a friend with PTSD who told me that she was numb at all times except when she drank, and I just couldn't conceive what that would have been like. It's one of those things that's impossible to imagine until you know it firsthand.

Unfortunately now I do know it firsthand, and unlike this woman I was friends with, I can't even get relief through alcohol.

 

[SMN123]

I feel the need to talk to someone who understands what I have been through and I have been feeling really lonely since no one around me did.
Am I the only one whose family didn’t feel empathy for the struggles that I have been through.
No matter how much I tried to explain I couldn’t explain the pain and stress I am feeling. At some point I felt like no one really cares about me. It felt like I was talking to myself.
No matter how vividly I was explaining my symptoms and the stuff that I am going through it felt no one truly cared. I mean my friends were listening and etc but none of them were really asking me how am I doing if I didn’t start talking about my condition. At some point I wanted to get rid of my friends cause I thought they weren’t true friends. But I think that would be a mistake cause they don’t know what it is.
Long story short, I was wondering how other people with DP went through, or was the I the only who felt unheard, not understood and alone. I would be really grateful to chat with any of you to share stories and provide support. Thank you so much. I really feel the need to be heard and understood.

I completely feel the same way. I talk to my family about my symptoms mainly, (sometimes my best friend) and they have no idea, they think i’m making it all up in my head. They give me a dumbfounded look every time i talk about it. I am so glad that others know how DP feels like because it’s overwhelming scary.

 

[Chip1021]

Thank you for your reply. My friends were supportive and listening but nobody could really empathize and check on me. They weren’t asking about my condition unless I was talking about it. It seemed like it didn’t exist for them and that was turning me against them. In case of family, it was even worse. They weren’t checking on me or asking how am I doing. The funny thing is whenever I got flue or smth, my dad checks on me every couple of hours and does everything for me to heal, but he wasn’t asking about my condition. I was so angry that all other good stuff he was doing to me didn’t matter at the time.
So I always had this question in my mind, if it were me whose friend had DP and told me all about it? Would I check on him? Or ask how he is doing every once in a while? Or I also wouldn’t feel empathy? The answer to this question is still a mystery to me.

I can relate to this so much. I’ve been dealing with this for almost two decades, and have been pretty much housebound for the better part of the last decade. My parents seem to really care and try to constantly check on me when I’m suffering from a “real illness,” but never ask about this condition, and when I bring it up, I’m usually just met with a sort of bland emotionless “I’m sorry,” even though this condition is far more difficult to cope with than the flu or back pain.

The problem is that this issue affects the very core aspects of how we experience ourselves as persons. Many of us feel we’ve lost our essential humanity, and as many of the other responses have noted, most people cannot even begin to fathom what that is like. So part of dealing with this is understanding that we are pretty much alone in this battle (but thankfully, sites like DPSH have certainly helped validate my problem, as well as come up with a better language with which to talk about it).

I can’t speak for you or anyone else, but I’ve also noticed that there is a certain sense of emergency and neediness that comes with this condition too. The fact that I just have to spend my life observing other people talking about their lives, laughing, smiling, effortlessly seeing and seeking meaning for themselves can be frustrating and terrifying, and I often feel this strong urge to either justify/rationalize my lack of self to others or to demand that somebody find a cure and fix me RIGHT NOW GOD DAMMIT!!!! And so it might be a good idea to become aware of the role that this condition itself is playing on my tendency to seek reassurance, affirmation, or condolences from others who, even when they try, can’t really remotely fathom what this experience is like. I don’t know if that applies to you at all, but it might be something to consider.