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M

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2,710 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Sorry, but I really, really, really do. It's been far too long. Any ideas on how to go about it that doesn't involve a trip to Amsterdam or hours of tediously chatting someone up in a bar? I want some free, uncomplicated sex, and I want it now. And I'm not paying. I guess that I've always had a fairly healthy sex drive, but at the moment I'm completely ravenous. I have no idea why...I'm a wreck physically. I can't even bare to look at Person3's Avatar else I fear I might explode. Imagine the mess ! Worse than Michael Jackon after an evening in front of a log fire.

God, I'm so bored. :evil:
 
M

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
In my current physical state I doubt that I'd anyone would want to buy. I could be a 'Packet of crips and a pint' boy I suppose. And keep in mind that I have two arse-holes, one given to me by nature, and one more recently given to me by the butchers at the hospital, so it might confuse any potential punters. Hmm...but there's an idea, maybe I could really play on pity regarding a certain illness I have.....would that be wicked? Tee hee.

If this thread doesn't get deleted, then nothing will. :lol:
 
G

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#7 ·
Martinelv said:
In my current physical state I doubt that I'd anyone would want to buy. I could be a 'Packet of crips and a pint' boy I suppose. And keep in mind that I have two arse-holes, one given to me by nature, and one more recently given to me by the butchers at the hospital, so it might confuse any potential punters. Hmm...but there's an idea, maybe I could really play on pity regarding a certain illness I have.....would that be wicked? Tee hee.

If this thread doesn't get deleted, then nothing will. :lol:
Click to expand...
"'scuse me love"
"Yes?"
"I've got leukemia."
"And?"
"Well are you gonna shag me or what?"

Yeah, that'll work. :lol:
 
M

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
:lol:

Sorry, I'm in a funny mood today....I'm a bit buzzed to be honest. Gotta love those benzo's (disclaimer etc)

But still, it's a worth a try isn't it ? I might not be as completely unsubtle and to the point as that, Mr Mole, but perhaps something along the lines of:

Martin: "Hello."
Female: "Go away."
Martin: "Ok. But before I do, I'd like to inform you that you are a second away from denying yourself sex with a man with a life-threatening-ish illness."
Female: "Go away."
Martin: "Last chance."
Female: "Oh, alright then. Your place or mine."

:?:
 
G

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#10 ·
Martinelv said:
Martin: "Hello."
Female: "Go away."
Martin: "Ok. But before I do, I'd like to inform you that you are a second away from denying yourself sex with a man with a life-threatening-ish illness."
Female: "Go away."
Martin: "Last chance."
Female: "Oh, alright then. Your place or mine."
Click to expand...
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
G

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#15 ·
Go to a classy (ideally near a colllege area) pastry/coffee shop for brunch on the weekend. Sit at a table by yourself with several notebooks and a draft of one of your books. Pay attention to NO one. Immerse yourself in your work (a pencil and legal pad are especially fetching, no laptop).

After awhile, say something chatty and rather witty to the waiter. Become a bit friendly, still looking at no one dining.

Soon glance around and see if there is ANY girl person sitting alone as well, having whatever pensive weekend moment by herself. Send over a cup of coffee or whatever she's drinking, then go back to your work. At some point, she will talk to you. Be shy and private about your writing, a little modest even (pretend. grin). Discuss perhaps Enchanted Night, or some other piece of literature you've recently enjoyed.

She should be yours.

Thank you for using Lays R Us,
J. Baker, management
 
person3

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#16 ·
Re: the above post

Oh yeah. Then feed her lines and keep her dangling for a couple weeks until you've broken her down to the point of near psychosis. Because maybe she really wanted to meet someone with something in common with her instead of being manipulated for sex.

Right, I shouldn't take this so seriously. But you know it really hurts when you're the one falling for this shit.

Personally I NEVER approach guys for reasons like this yet somehow I still end up meeting the same types. Maybe fine for someone normal but not for someone who already has a fucking mental disorder. And if I see a guy writing ANYTHING in a book I either reach for the gun or steer clear.
 
M

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2,710 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Person3, you have lovely hair. Apart from your Avatar, your anger appeals to me. But I've never been one to, consciously, manipulate women for sex. Honestly, it's the truth ! Just be thankful that you aren't entirely consumed by your raging hormones, for your entire goddam life, and that you don't have to do the chasing!! Besides, I'd never try and 'chat up' someone who didn't realise that I was coming on to them. It's tantamount to rape! In my experience, women are usually far more intelligent than men, so they should see it coming a mile off, a make a decision for themselves, like all thinking animals do. I, unfortunately, don't have Derren Brown-type powers of persuasion, so I have to rely on my endless capacity for spontaneous bullshit. I'm pissed off by the whole 'men using women' crap. Women have brains, for gods sake. Oh, and women never 'use' men, for whatever purposes...oh no. Never. Not in the history of mankind! :shock: Yet I understand your bitterness at men. Some of us, a majority perhaps, are evil little wankers.

Thanks for the advice Janine, I might just try that. Today actually, as I've nothing better to do. I'll report back later.

As for Cardiff.....my lord....but it's full of Welsh people! (Disclaimer etc)
 
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