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As some of you may know i'm a 23years old male.
I have been dpdr'ed for about a year and a half. Weed triggered it for me(Not the first time smoking it) . At first i was so desperate and anxious. Anyway it took me one year and a half to recover and during this time i had been smoking weed again in small amounts and it gave me peace of mind. I'd say i was around 80% recovered and living a better life
However i'd been smoking the past few days with no problem.
But 2 nights ago i smoked at the wrong hour(5 in the morning because i had slept till 2am and i was sharp and energized_i smoked all by myself) and after having some fun i realized i was wayyy too high and that made me have a lot of panic attacks. I still am experiencing intense panic attacks accompanied by a lot of intestinal problems. It feels like my fight/flight response is out of whack. I'm not living with my family and i don't want to tell them i've done this foolish thing once again and scare them or embarrass myself again.
I'm too scared if i'm going schizophrenic this time. I swear i won't touch weed ever again. Does this anxiety lower in time again? This is too much for me.
Btw: the only worsened symptom is keeping the train of thought. Sometimes i feel too lazy to remember everything in my mind or i'd better say i'm too scared and panicky that i fear losing my train of thought/speech all together.
Although i've been out and went shopping once and i stopped for gas and even when i went to the hospital i still acted normal i didn't lose my train of thought or anything.
I don't know if too much anxiety is doing that or if weed has not left my system yet (exactly 44 hours has been passed since i smoked weed) and i can't eat at all. I'm really weak and my stomach is badly upset. I went to the ER once this morning.
I'm just really afraid of schizophrenia this time. I know i had eased into dpdr once and it had lost it's dominance on me but this time it feels different like i'm more depersonalized or more anxious.maybe it's because of my under-nourishment and bad sleep.
Will it get better??? I need peace
I have been dpdr'ed for about a year and a half. Weed triggered it for me(Not the first time smoking it) . At first i was so desperate and anxious. Anyway it took me one year and a half to recover and during this time i had been smoking weed again in small amounts and it gave me peace of mind. I'd say i was around 80% recovered and living a better life
However i'd been smoking the past few days with no problem.
But 2 nights ago i smoked at the wrong hour(5 in the morning because i had slept till 2am and i was sharp and energized_i smoked all by myself) and after having some fun i realized i was wayyy too high and that made me have a lot of panic attacks. I still am experiencing intense panic attacks accompanied by a lot of intestinal problems. It feels like my fight/flight response is out of whack. I'm not living with my family and i don't want to tell them i've done this foolish thing once again and scare them or embarrass myself again.
I'm too scared if i'm going schizophrenic this time. I swear i won't touch weed ever again. Does this anxiety lower in time again? This is too much for me.
Btw: the only worsened symptom is keeping the train of thought. Sometimes i feel too lazy to remember everything in my mind or i'd better say i'm too scared and panicky that i fear losing my train of thought/speech all together.
Although i've been out and went shopping once and i stopped for gas and even when i went to the hospital i still acted normal i didn't lose my train of thought or anything.
I don't know if too much anxiety is doing that or if weed has not left my system yet (exactly 44 hours has been passed since i smoked weed) and i can't eat at all. I'm really weak and my stomach is badly upset. I went to the ER once this morning.
I'm just really afraid of schizophrenia this time. I know i had eased into dpdr once and it had lost it's dominance on me but this time it feels different like i'm more depersonalized or more anxious.maybe it's because of my under-nourishment and bad sleep.
Will it get better??? I need peace
