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Guest
·i need help seriously i think i am gonna insane. please someone tell me what to do....I can't cope with dissociation anymore. I can't.
Cynthia
Cynthia
i need help
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
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Guest
·Oh, brother...the thought of the two of you obsessives getting together is veryyy scary.
evil grin
Cynthia, Ken is one of my best buddies here. Despite what HE thinks, he is enormously sane, and you should listen to him.
Love,
J
evil grin
Cynthia, Ken is one of my best buddies here. Despite what HE thinks, he is enormously sane, and you should listen to him.
Love,
J
G
Guest
·Cynthia,
Hang in there. I know what you're going through. Just read my post right above yours. At least you're not delusional. I know it will get better, just don't lose hope.
Best,
Jon
Hang in there. I know what you're going through. Just read my post right above yours. At least you're not delusional. I know it will get better, just don't lose hope.
Best,
Jon
Joined
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544 Posts
Cynthia
You will get through this. I've been there. In fact, I still am there, these last couple of days have probably been my worst of DP/DR yet.
I'm not so sure about myself, but I know for a fact that you are not going insane, you're really not.
This might be one of the hardest time you'll ever go through in your life. If you can make it through this, you can make it through a hell of a lot.
Here's to hoping you'll have better days soon.
You will get through this. I've been there. In fact, I still am there, these last couple of days have probably been my worst of DP/DR yet.
I'm not so sure about myself, but I know for a fact that you are not going insane, you're really not.
This might be one of the hardest time you'll ever go through in your life. If you can make it through this, you can make it through a hell of a lot.
Here's to hoping you'll have better days soon.
Joined
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1,805 Posts
cynthia
you CAN deal with this...the differing amounts of mind shifts i and others deal with comes and goes..
youve seen the posts on here from different people saying that one day 'i feel great' then another day 'i cant cope with this' i do it ,we all do it...
put your feet up cup of tea,try to relax..very british but it works
you CAN deal with this...the differing amounts of mind shifts i and others deal with comes and goes..
youve seen the posts on here from different people saying that one day 'i feel great' then another day 'i cant cope with this' i do it ,we all do it...
put your feet up cup of tea,try to relax..very british but it works
I'm feeling the same way right now. I feel like im losing my mind. I'm so incredibly DP'd. It's been getting worse and worse by the day. Each day I'm dissociating more and more. Does anyone know why this happens? Why it goes deeper and deeper by the day. has anyone had that?
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Guest
·Chris,
I don't know. I feel horrible and I can't help myself to think I AM already crazy. I always feel like I will cry in the minute, I feel that my nerves are on the edge every minute. Like I can't trust myself. I am not emotionnaly stable. I don't feel relax and normal, almost never. It never last.
At those times what is scaring me is the absolute lack of faith, and I feel like I want to die. I am so selfish I can't even think of my family and son who would be without me. I don't have empathy, in fact I think they would be better off without me. I hate to say that but I am honest. I only feel my pain and it's unbearable. If I'd have to make a graphic of my mental status in the day I would be with high peaks of stress all the time. Like about disorientation, confusion about me, how am I, what is this life? meds, how will I heal, my psy who don't help me, why all this pain, why live. I HATE that.
My thoughts goes 100 miles an hour. thoughs of my delivery, of before my delivery, my childwood, how I was OK, what was making me feel good at the time, who I was at the time. And all this makes me feel cry. I am like a soul searching for the peace but stuck in 2 worlds.
And it's never normal, calm thoughts. I try so hard to think normally, and feel normal things. I try so hard to be in reality. I have BIG trouble to accept that I am crazy already ( I think). That is why sometimes I just want to take those damned anti-psychotics and live a normal life, but without thinking. Silly hun? I feel silly.
And I don't know if it's depression but I really feel that I will never be happy again, that this life has no purpose like that. Even if I have a child, I don't want to feel this way all my life. I scream, search, into this black hole, cry, scream to people help me out, but nobody can.
Again, I am sorry to repeat myself. It'S the only place where people do understand what I talk about. *At least I didn't make another new post about it!, this was mine.
C (sorry again if I offend someome)
I don't know. I feel horrible and I can't help myself to think I AM already crazy. I always feel like I will cry in the minute, I feel that my nerves are on the edge every minute. Like I can't trust myself. I am not emotionnaly stable. I don't feel relax and normal, almost never. It never last.
At those times what is scaring me is the absolute lack of faith, and I feel like I want to die. I am so selfish
I can't even think of my family and son who would be without me. I don't have empathy, in fact I think they would be better off without me. I hate to say that but I am honest. I only feel my pain and it's unbearable. If I'd have to make a graphic of my mental status in the day I would be with high peaks of stress all the time. Like about disorientation, confusion about me, how am I, what is this life? meds, how will I heal, my psy who don't help me, why all this pain, why live. I HATE that.My thoughts goes 100 miles an hour. thoughs of my delivery, of before my delivery, my childwood, how I was OK, what was making me feel good at the time, who I was at the time. And all this makes me feel cry. I am like a soul searching for the peace but stuck in 2 worlds.
And it's never normal, calm thoughts. I try so hard to think normally, and feel normal things. I try so hard to be in reality. I have BIG trouble to accept that I am crazy already ( I think). That is why sometimes I just want to take those damned anti-psychotics and live a normal life, but without thinking. Silly hun? I feel silly.
And I don't know if it's depression but I really feel that I will never be happy again, that this life has no purpose like that. Even if I have a child, I don't want to feel this way all my life. I scream, search, into this black hole, cry, scream to people help me out, but nobody can.
Again, I am sorry to repeat myself. It'S the only place where people do understand what I talk about. *At least I didn't make another new post about it!, this was mine.
C (sorry again if I offend someome)
Joined
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544 Posts
Cynthia
I feel pretty much like you do right now.
I've spent the last couple of days doing, pretty much, absolutely nothing.
I'm confused, dazed, struggling to stay "there", frightened and incredibly depressed. I don't know if I've ever been this down in my life before, and I've had some very bad times. I'm serously worried about insanity, it seems like it would be just "my luck" for it to happen to me, after all this.
Right now I'm just feeling nothing. It literally feels as if this existence isn't wrth living, everything seems different, bad somehow. And all the time I realise that I'm letting time slip by me.
Sometimes it's as if life really isn't worth living.
But then, feeling like this, I think to myself - this is, quite literally, about as bad as it can get. It isn't, surely, humanly possible to feel much worse. If this is the worst that life can throw at me, and I'm still living it, then I'm doing pretty well at something.
You probably feel right now like you're in a bottmless pit. You've got here and there's no way out. There's so many things to deal with to make it out that it's overwhelming. You don't know where to start, where to go what to do, to get out of this.
But there is hope. People have come out of this before. Don't give up just yet, I haven't. There's no "quick fix" right now, you're gonna have to bear this for a little longer, but you can make it. I know it, and I think you, deep down, know it too.
And, for Christ's sake, don't worry about posting too many times and repeating yourself. With all that you're going through, you deserve people's help and attention, even if you don't feel like you do.
Keep going, you will get there eventually, no matter how hard it seems. It might be far off now, but good times are ahead.
I feel pretty much like you do right now.
I've spent the last couple of days doing, pretty much, absolutely nothing.
I'm confused, dazed, struggling to stay "there", frightened and incredibly depressed. I don't know if I've ever been this down in my life before, and I've had some very bad times. I'm serously worried about insanity, it seems like it would be just "my luck" for it to happen to me, after all this.
Right now I'm just feeling nothing. It literally feels as if this existence isn't wrth living, everything seems different, bad somehow. And all the time I realise that I'm letting time slip by me.
Sometimes it's as if life really isn't worth living.
But then, feeling like this, I think to myself - this is, quite literally, about as bad as it can get. It isn't, surely, humanly possible to feel much worse. If this is the worst that life can throw at me, and I'm still living it, then I'm doing pretty well at something.
You probably feel right now like you're in a bottmless pit. You've got here and there's no way out. There's so many things to deal with to make it out that it's overwhelming. You don't know where to start, where to go what to do, to get out of this.
But there is hope. People have come out of this before. Don't give up just yet, I haven't. There's no "quick fix" right now, you're gonna have to bear this for a little longer, but you can make it. I know it, and I think you, deep down, know it too.
And, for Christ's sake, don't worry about posting too many times and repeating yourself. With all that you're going through, you deserve people's help and attention, even if you don't feel like you do.
Keep going, you will get there eventually, no matter how hard it seems. It might be far off now, but good times are ahead.
G
Guest
·Thanks everyone.
I had a OK week-end, helped by meds. With meds in am in a fog, but it's not that painful. But I don't know who I am yet and every night, I think of how can I be myself, what did I do wrong, why this anxiety inside me, this feeling of going crazy. I imagine how to draw DP, I have plenty of imangination when it comes to dp. I constantly talk to myself, (i.e. have thought). Sometimes it's not even dp-related. Unfortunately it'S Paxil who does that, and Zoloft did it as well. It's like a monologue to myself. It'S pretty annoying. I don't sleep well because of that. I try not to think of anything or not to have a good song in head :shock: , but it's like my mind can't shut down. Before with sleep pills I didn't have this problem. Now I have it, even with Klonopin. (any ideas)???
I am pretty tired due to Paxil, and every day I feel emptiness, and wonder how will I feel there and good again. I try so much to feel myself, but all is fogginess and I can't concentrate longer on my sense of identity. I just live, but it's pretty annoying.
The horrible feeling subsides most of the time (bcause of Paxil), but I feel it everyday. Before Paxil I would cry for no reason and don't stop. So I guess this med is good for me now....but I feel nothing at all. I know I am severely depressed and hope that one dayI will be able to make plans and be happy.
I search now for a simple psychologist. Hope I will find someone fine for me.
I am again of Lamictal, I'll give you some news. (Now it's only 12,5 mg!) The only difference I see is a bit a nausea and in the noght I have blurred vision.
Thanks for being there.
Cynthia
I had a OK week-end, helped by meds. With meds in am in a fog, but it's not that painful. But I don't know who I am yet and every night, I think of how can I be myself, what did I do wrong, why this anxiety inside me, this feeling of going crazy. I imagine how to draw DP, I have plenty of imangination when it comes to dp. I constantly talk to myself, (i.e. have thought). Sometimes it's not even dp-related. Unfortunately it'S Paxil who does that, and Zoloft did it as well. It's like a monologue to myself. It'S pretty annoying. I don't sleep well because of that. I try not to think of anything or not to have a good song in head :shock: , but it's like my mind can't shut down. Before with sleep pills I didn't have this problem. Now I have it, even with Klonopin. (any ideas)???
I am pretty tired due to Paxil, and every day I feel emptiness, and wonder how will I feel there and good again. I try so much to feel myself, but all is fogginess and I can't concentrate longer on my sense of identity. I just live, but it's pretty annoying.
The horrible feeling subsides most of the time (bcause of Paxil), but I feel it everyday. Before Paxil I would cry for no reason and don't stop. So I guess this med is good for me now....but I feel nothing at all.
I know I am severely depressed and hope that one dayI will be able to make plans and be happy.I search now for a simple psychologist. Hope I will find someone fine for me.
I am again of Lamictal, I'll give you some news. (Now it's only 12,5 mg!) The only difference I see is a bit a nausea and in the noght I have blurred vision.
Thanks for being there.
Cynthia
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Guest
·cynthia,
i feel everything you feel. i too had a baby 6.5 months ago. i suffered from the feelings of dp before my pregnancy, but they continued to get worse everyday. and since the birth of the baby i feel soooo much worse everyday i no longer have words for the feelings that are with me everyday. i am on a low dose of lexapro..i feel like since i started it that i am more numb than before. the disconnect from my life prior to this state of mind is sooo far removed from my consiousness. I try so hard to remember what it was like to get up and be..be happy, be content, be in the moment and not think about the idea of being alive. I don't forsee being able to 'come out of this' as over the months it has gotton so bad..i dont even know what i am supposed to feel like to 'be normal'. I dont want to die...but i feel like with this its inevitable. everyday i feel like this is the day i will just stop being.
it is sooo sad. my poor daughter has no idea what a mess i am...and i feel sorry she will be deprived of a normal mother.
bottom line...your not alone...not that thats so comforting...but know your not alone.
i feel everything you feel. i too had a baby 6.5 months ago. i suffered from the feelings of dp before my pregnancy, but they continued to get worse everyday. and since the birth of the baby i feel soooo much worse everyday i no longer have words for the feelings that are with me everyday. i am on a low dose of lexapro..i feel like since i started it that i am more numb than before. the disconnect from my life prior to this state of mind is sooo far removed from my consiousness. I try so hard to remember what it was like to get up and be..be happy, be content, be in the moment and not think about the idea of being alive. I don't forsee being able to 'come out of this' as over the months it has gotton so bad..i dont even know what i am supposed to feel like to 'be normal'. I dont want to die...but i feel like with this its inevitable. everyday i feel like this is the day i will just stop being.
it is sooo sad. my poor daughter has no idea what a mess i am...and i feel sorry she will be deprived of a normal mother.
bottom line...your not alone...not that thats so comforting...but know your not alone.
G
Guest
·Thanks for replying...
If someone is in a positive mood, please post too! :shock: I feel alone inside, all is dark near me, I have no hope, no joy at all. No faith in life.
Hope Lamictal will help my mood one day... I do everything I am supposed to do that usually I enjoy, and now I feel .................... inside. Nothing. Just fear. Like when you dream that you're falling then you wake up, terrified, and you realize that it's only a dream.
I feel like I am falling, but it's not a dream.
C xxx
If someone is in a positive mood, please post too! :shock: I feel alone inside, all is dark near me, I have no hope, no joy at all. No faith in life.
Hope Lamictal will help my mood one day... I do everything I am supposed to do that usually I enjoy, and now I feel .................... inside. Nothing. Just fear. Like when you dream that you're falling then you wake up, terrified, and you realize that it's only a dream.
I feel like I am falling, but it's not a dream.
C xxx
G
Guest
·dont let the depression get to you, try to think on a higher level, think back to the time when you were happier and tell yourself you want to feel like that, Get angry at DP, use any emotion u have and try to make it positive
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Guest
·Thanks Johnny!
It's great to see people replying to my post. I am thankful for that.
Thanks again.
C xxx
It's great to see people replying to my post. I am thankful for that.
Thanks again.
C xxx
Joined
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223 Posts
well this is rather selfish positiveness but I personally have quite strong belief this will go away someday. Even though each day right now is just grey and depressing I believe it won't be like that forever. So I think about how great it'll be when I'll finally gladly accept reality as it is, which I've never been able to do. Maybe this is just a coping mechanism but having faith is important so I wish you'll be able to believe in your recovery too...hope you'll start to get signs of it soon :!: :!:
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