Its like ive forgotten what its like to not be in this state. I feel i cant remember a time where i felt normal. Id trade just feeling anxiety over petty things rather than existential shit in an instant. My anxiety is really bad. I keep having super confusing thoughts that either make no sense or contradict everything that make me question "whyd i think that???" and it adds to the anxiety which makes the dp/dr worse. Im gonna see a phychiatrist soon but im super afraid ill be stuck like this forever. Im wondering if this is all a figment of my imagination and im in my own hell or something. I can do stuff to distract myself but even while, say, watching a funny video, that FEELING is constantly there, in the back of my head...i think i recovered slightly from this but im stuck somewhere and im freaking out. I just want to feel like i used to...im constantly feeling like crying but i dont as sometimes heavy emotion makes the dr/dp worse.