Me too. I used to be so fun. Now I have trouble relating to any of my old friends, and I avoid places where I might bump into people I know because I don't want them to see how much I've changed, and how boring and miserable I've become.
I how I'm so obsessed with myself.
And wallow in self-pity all day.
I know exactly how you feel, but - if I may give you an advice - don?t do this! don?t be affraid of showing people you?ve changed. It will only bring you to isolation.. you have to go out, even if you will only "play" that it is you. You know what I mean.. I don?t want to be a smartass, just trying to tell you what works for me (just a little bit - anything helps, ne?).
I wouldn?t say this if I weren?t in the same condition as you are. I am. I miss myself (my former self) SO MUCH. I loved life, I loved every single feeling of it. I loved being "cool" with people and everything... now it?s all gone.
BUT - after few months of isolating myself from people I knew (because they would see I am gone) and trying to avoid places I loved (because they only give me memories), I found out I have to do the opposite. Be with friends (and even tell them what happened to me) and go to favourite places (just to remember the old feelings and trying to find them in myself).
Haven?t cured a bit yet, but - if nothing else - I am living the life once again. Not the life as I used to (far, far from it), but at least - I live and hope again.
I know I shouldn't have isolated myself, but I have. I'm such a loser. I don't have any friends left now. As soon as I wasn't available to go out all the time with them, they got all nasty. The bitches. I was going to explain what was wrong with me, but when it came down to it, I realised that I couldn't trust them. I did tell my boyfriend at the time, who I was with for 2 years but then he got drunk and told some of my friends what was wrong with me. Then I started getting confrontational phonecalls from them. I'm better off away from them, but yeah, I do feel like I need new people in my life now. I'm lonely. I'll probably resort to going to barndances / knitting club. WI coffee mornings? They're the bomb!!
This is why I'm a misanthrope. I over generalize, granted, but alot of peole are just complete assholes. People can be so shallow and nasty that if you aren't an ideal image of health, fun, and vigor you're trash to be tossed aside. I can never get involved with people like this, yet it seems as if these are the people that are constantly around me. Why bother?
I actually don't miss my old self. I did at first, but now I think I wasn't that great before, not since childhood. I'd like to see what it's like to love life, or even like it, and not hate every minute of your existence.
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